Stages of Grief
by EuropeanDreams
Summary: They say that there are five stages of grief. Kim Burgess finds herself navigating them after a family tragedy throws her life in a direction that she never would have imagined. How will she deal with her new reality and who will help her along the way?
1. Chapter 1

**AN** : Ok, here we go again. The new story. As always, please let me know what you think. Thanks!

* * *

 **Stages of Grief**

They say that there are five stages of grief. Denial. Anger. Bargaining. Depression. Acceptance. Kim wasn't sure what she thought about that right now. All she felt was numb.

Sitting in the commander's office in the 21st Precinct as she waited for Sgt. Platt to arrange a ride for her to the crime scene, she just sat wringing her hands to try and deal with the pain. Kim could hear that the world was still moving around her as if nothing had happened.

For her, the world had stopped. It was frozen in her mind at a moment two weeks ago. Her last memory of them. The sun shining on their faces. The sound of the kids playing on the playground. The smell of freshly cut grass and roses. The taste of chocolate on her tongue as she ate the ice cream they had purchased from the sidewalk stand. It was all fresh in her mind, but that's getting ahead of ourselves. We need to go back to how the shift started.

* * *

Kim made her way into the 21st ready for her next shift. She could feel herself smiling for no particular reason other than the fact that Spring was finally here in Chicago. The regular appearance of the sun just put her in a good mood. Walking up to the SGT's desk, Kim waited for Roman to make his appearance, so they could get started for the day.

"Burgess. Why are you smiling?"

Sgt. Platt obviously didn't feel the same way this morning.

"The sun's out, Sarg. Isn't that reason enough?"

Platt leveled Kim with her steeliest stare. "No." Kim backed away from the desk slightly and was relieved when Roman appeared.

"Where do you need us today, Sarg?" Platt handed Roman the keys to their cruiser for the afternoon into evening shift.

"Career Day for the elementary school this afternoon. Get going and then we'll see what we have."

Roman turned and headed towards the car without a word. Kim smiled and then turned to follow her partner. They both got situated in the car and as Roman pulled out of the parking lot and headed in the direction of the school, he cleared his throat. Kim turned in his direction to see what he wanted.

"Are we going to talk about it?"

Kim decided that playing dumb was the right approach. "About what?"

Roman gave her the "are you kidding" look.

"How about the fact that this is our last day together as partners? Or that we'll both be getting new ones tomorrow? I'll be a training officer. You'll be working with whatever poor soul Platt decides to saddle with you. Or how about that our first date is tonight?"

Kim smiled slightly and could feel herself shift in her seat so she could see Roman better. "Where are you taking me anyway?" Roman began to pull into the elementary parking lot and just smiled in answer. "You'll just have to wait and see, Burgess."

* * *

It was looking to be a really good day. Adam walked up into Intelligence and was determined that he was going to be in a good mood. He didn't care if Roman decided to go for round two today on that damn laptop. He was turning over a new leaf. He was going to move on. Life was funny. He had run into Nicole the other night and, despite what you would think, there wasn't a single awkward moment with his first fiance. In fact she had asked for his number and had hit him up to have drinks tonight. What did he have to lose? At the very least, he could get his drink on tonight.

He was whistling a tune that had been stuck in his head when he finally made it to his desk. He'd barely had a chance to even sit down when Voight made his way out of his office.

"Ok, the higher ups apparently have had it with us and they want us to catch up on our paper work. No heading out today unless its an emergency till your paperwork is caught up."

Adam shrugged. Luckily, he had learned from Al to not let that stuff pile up too much. Hopefully, that would mean that he and Olinsky could at least get out of there at some point.

Later that evening, Adam was riding shot gun with Olinsky as they went to check in with one of Adam's CIs. Al had raised an eyebrow that a CI from Beverly would have anything good, but Adam had assured him that the guy was solid. They had just finished with the meeting and had some new leads on drug runners in the Chicago area when Olinsky's phone beeped that someone was paging them. Voight's voice came into the car when Al cued the mic.

"Are you two still up in Beverly?" Olinsky answered back in the affirmative and Voight relayed his instructions.

"There has been a double homicide up in that area and a tender age child is missing. Head on over to the address and help out the patrol officers. Robbery homicide has asked us to take this one. Apparently, they think it sounds like a spree of other crimes that has occurred in the city. The rest of us are on our way."

Adam checked his phone for the address and began to give Olinsky directions. The address sounded so familiar to Adam, but he wasn't sure why. Maybe an old high school friend had lived on that street. Pulling up to the two story house on a quiet cul de sac felt all wrong. It was where anyone would want to grow up with a large yard and huge trees shading the street. Adam and Olinsky made their way up the front walk and found the beat cops inside the front door. Adam had never met them before, but from the looks of things they had been on the job for quite some time. The guy named Henderson spoke for them.

"We cleared the house. The couple are in the kitchen and den area. Put up quite a fight. I'll show you."

Henderson began walking them down the front entrance foyer and one of the walls had family photos on it. Adam initially tried to avoid looking at them in order to detach himself from the situation. But one in particular grabbed his attention and he stopped dead in his tracks. The smiling faces of the family looked back at him and Adam's blood ran cold. Olinsky sensed that Adam had stopped and turned back to see what was going on. "What's wrong, Kid?" Olinsky waited as Adam tried to find his voice. Adam didn't find it. What he found was his feet. He made his way past Olinsky and Henderson and into the den. Looking down he saw the last thing he ever wanted to see. Burgess's sister was in the prone position on the floor of the kitchen with several stab wounds to her back and severe defensive bruising on her face and neck.

Adam felt his breath come in quick bursts. Oh God. Zoey. Adam could hear Olinsky yelling at him to stop and calm down. To tell him what was going on. Adam couldn't stop. He made his way upstairs and searched to find her room. Looking inside, he could see that the bed was unmade and a small stuffed unicorn still sat tucked into the sheets. At eleven, Adam would have expected her to have abandoned it. The feeling of a cool breeze on Adam's arm is what directed him towards the open window. As Adam made it to the window, Olinsky came to stand in the doorway.

"Henderson says that the house belongs to an Aaron and Erica Martin. Who are they, Adam?"

Adam was looking out the window and felt like someone else was talking as he spoke. "Kim's sister." It was all he could get out. His mind was trying to figure out the scene in front of him. Looking out towards the backyard, Adam almost missed it. If it was winter, the tree house would have been obvious, but all the trees in the backyard had full green leaves and the full branches hide the small tree house well. A small glimmer of hope stabbed at Adam's chest. He turned and headed towards the door, but Olinsky was blocking his path. Adam realized that he was going to have to stop and explain.

"There's a tree house in the backyard. I'm thinking Zoey might have climbed down the tree outside her window and up into the tree house. The window was open when I came in."

Olinsky shrugged. "That's a big if, Kid. Go check it out. She'd be the first one to get away."

Adam moved around Olinsky and ran down the steps to the backyard. As he made his way to the tree that he thought housed the tree house, his mind immediately went to Kim. She was going to be devastated. He prayed that Zoey was up there. Give Kim at least this small comfort. Adam felt his hopes raise as he realized that the rope ladder had been pulled up and there was no other way to get up there without it. He contemplated going into the garage and seeing if they had a ladder, but he suddenly heard quiet sniffling. Adam took a small breath and quietly called out.

"Zoey. Its Adam. Is that you? Do you remember me? From your..."

Adam began to hear movement and he barely caught Zoey's answer. "Kim's Adam?"

Adam felt his whole body breath a sigh of relief. There was one small miracle. "Yes, that Adam. Can I come up?" Zoey dropped the ladder down and as Adam made his way up he thanked God that she was safe. "Pull the ladder back up. No one else." Adam nodded and did as he was told.

Zoey had backed herself into the corner of the house and was hugging her knees to her chest. Her feet were dirty with mud and grass and she was wearing her pajama pants and a long sleeve tshirt. Adam took off his light jacket and held it out in front of him in offering. Zoey nodded her head but didn't move. Adam took the couple of steps forward and placed the jacket over her shoulders. He stepped back a few steps and sat down crossed legged in front of her.

"Zoey, is it ok if I call my partner and let him know that I've found you. We were all really worried. We don't have to leave here, yet. We can stay right here."

Zoey nodded her ok and Adam quickly radioed Al that he had found her. When Adam hung up the phone, Zoey finally spoke.

"They're dead, aren't they? Tell me the truth."

Adam closed his eyes and then opened them. "Yes, honey. They are."  
The biggest tears that Adam had ever seen began to come out of Zoey's eyes and the tiny girl's body began to shake. He sat still. Not wanting to spook her. Zoey finally crawled out of the corner and Adam pulled her to his chest. He held her and questioned what kind of world allowed this to happen.

* * *

Kim was smiling as she and Roman returned to the precinct after finishing their first round of patrol. They were now dropping off the take out order that Platt had ordered to Garcia, who for some reason was manning the desk.

"Burgess, Platt wanted to see you in the commander's office?"

Kim scrunched up her eyes in confusion. Why in the world would Platt need to see her? "Did she say what for?"

Garcia shook his head and Kim figured she better go find out.

"She probably needs us to go get ketchup or something."

Kim smiled at Roman's comment and walked over to the commander's door. As she walked in, Kim could feel her smile fall from her face. The look on Trudi Platt's face told Kim that whatever she had to say was not good. Kim's mind began to race. Had something happened to Adam?

"Shut the door, Burgess." Kim did as she was told and knew her face showed how spooked she was. "Sargeant, what's going on? Is it.."

Trudi's eyes began to water as she spoke, "Kim, I am so sorry. It's your sister and..."

After that, all Kim heard was a roar and bits and pieces that filtered through. Murder. Zoey. Missing. Kim felt herself sink to a crouch and her chest tighten to the point of absolute pain. When the cry finally came out of her mouth, it did nothing to relieve the pain since the tears came out of her eyes in waves. Something in Kim's mind suddenly just closed down and she could feel herself shaking her head. She got herself back up to standing and she looked Platt straight in the eye.

"No. It can't be. I talked to her this morning." Kim could see the tear marks down Platt's cheeks as she shook her head. "Ruzek and Olinsky are on the scene. Adam id'd your sister."

Kim could feel herself trying to double over, but only by sheer force of will did she not do that. Platt began to gently press Kim back into sitting in a chair and that was when there was a light knock at the door. Garcia poked his head in. "Garcia, I told you not to bother us."

Garcia bowed his head as he spoke, "I know, ma'am. But that was Olinsky on the phone. He said that Ruzek found the girl. She's unharmed."

Kim could hear Platt saying something back to Garcia, but she couldn't tell you what. Zoey was safe. Adam had her. Kim felt Platt squeeze her shoulder and then she was alone in the room. Kim could feel her tears still streaming down her face, but the rest of her had just gone numb.

* * *

Zoey was still pressed up against Adam's chest, but he could tell that this wave of tears had dried up. He had checked on her a few times and she was just staring into space as she continued to have a death grip on his shirt. He could hear the voices of the unit and the forensic team down at the house. The flash of red and blue lights had finally made its way up to the tree house. Adam would bet that there were at least ten vehicles in the front yard at this point. He said a silent prayer that the address had not gone out over the radio. He knew that Burgess was on shift this evening. He masochistically still followed the schedule to know when he might see her. He could only hope that Platt had intercepted the news before it got to her. Adam's phone pinged and he felt Zoey jump. Adam gently began to rub Zoey's back as he pulled his phone out of his back pocket. "It's my partner. I have to answer this." Zoey was once again nodding her head without really answering him. Adam continued to try and comfort her as he answered Al.  
Al's voice sounded gruff over the phone and Adam could not remember the last time he had heard the emotion in his partner's voice. "Just got off the phone with Platt. Kim's in a patrol car on the way here. How's the girl?"

"How would you be?"

Adam could hear Olinsky wiping his mustache with his hand over the phone.

"We will need to question her later. Not tonight."

There was no way in this world that Adam was letting that happen.

"I would hope not. Cause its not happening."

"I know, kid. Just worry about taking care of her till Kim gets here. She should be here in about fifteen minutes."

"Ok. Thanks, Al."

Adam hung up the phone and placed it back in his pocket. He adjusted his jacket on Zoey's shoulders to make sure it was covering her better. "Kim is on her way. She'll be here soon. Do you want to wait to head down till she get here?"

Adam watched as Zoey took in a shaky breath. "Yes, please." Adam nodded. "Ok. Whatever you want to do."

"You'll stay with me?"

Adam looked down and saw fear in Zoey's eyes. "I won't go anywhere. I'll stay with you as long as you want." His words must have been enough for her. Zoey laid her head back down on Adam's chest and went back to staring at the corner.

* * *

Kim felt like she was on auto pilot the whole way to her sister's house. Initially, Roman had tried to talk to her. He had expressed his condolences and she had vaguely felt the hug that he had offered before helping her into the squad car. She just was not in any way, shape, or form ready to deal with the outside world. She would need to call her parents. Aaron didn't have any immediate family, so she only had some of his cousins to notify. How could she be thinking about that?

God, they had all been so happy that afternoon two weeks ago. For once, Aaron and Erika had been free from their law firms and had been able to bring Zoey to that park to catch up with Kim. It had been a perfect afternoon. Kim covered her eyes with her hand, so she could try and keep those memories fresh in her head. Them smiling. Laughing. Happy. She knew she would never be able to see her sister's house the same way again, but she was not prepared for the scene when they arrived.

It felt like all of CPD was in the front yard. When Roman pulled the squad car to a stop, Kim didn't even wait. She opened her door and got out of the car. It was necessity. She needed to move. She needed to find Zoey or risk falling apart again. She wasn't ready. She began to walk up the front walk and Erin stopped her half way by pulling her into a hug. Kim felt confused as Erin spun her around 180 degrees so she was facing the street again. Kim tried to pull away, but Erin just held on tighter.

"Kim, they are bringing them out. You don't want to see that. You don't want that memory."

Kim could feel herself nod in response and for some reason she began to pat Erin's back. Was she comforting her or herself? Giving herself something productive to do to deal with the psychological trauma. Kim heard the large doors shut on what she assumed was the coroner's van and that was when Erin gently pulled back. Kim could see that Erin was trying to read how she was doing, but Kim didn't have time for that.

"Where is Zoey?"

Erin showed the resignation of someone knowing that they were not going to budge someone.

"She's up in her tree house with Ruzek. I guess she hasn't wanted to move. You head back there and I'll let him know you are on the way."

Kim turned and started to head around the outside of the house to the backyard. As she was making her way around the back corner, she saw that Adam was already out of the tree and Zoey was making her way down. It took everything in Kim to not take off at a dead sprint for her niece, but she could feel herself quicken her pace. Adam was adjusting his coat back around Zoey's shoulders as she got off the ladder when Kim got to them. "Zoey." Kim's heart broke when she saw her niece's eyes fill with tears. Kim pulled her into her arms and tried not to squeeze her to death. She tucked Zooey's head underneath her chin and looked up at Adam.

She had so many mixed feelings towards that man, but in that moment all she could feel was grateful. She took a shaky breath before speaking. "Thank you." Adam tucked his hands into his pockets and took a breath of his own.

"Anything. Whatever you need. Both of you."

Kim went to squeeze Zoey again, but her niece was turning in her arms. "You aren't leaving? Are you?" Kim looked down at her niece and the fear in her voice broke her heart. Kim looked back up at Adam and saw the question in his eyes. Kim would do anything for her niece under normal circumstances let alone now.

"He's not going anywhere. You think you could get us out of here?"

Adam stepped forward and placed his hand on Kim's shoulder. The light squeeze spoke of so much more than just the comfort that she knew he was trying to convey. Kim turned Zoey towards the front yard and they began to walk together towards the cars. Zoey reached out and took Adam's hand. Kim could tell that the action did not surprise Adam and she wondered what kind of state he had found her niece in. As they made their way around the front of the house, Kim saw the whole unit along with Roman waiting for them. Zoey stopped walking at the site of all the people and the flashing lights. Kim was about to say something when Zoey turned and buried her face in Adam's chest. Adam motioned towards a car off to the side away from all the people. Kim began to follow Adam as he was taking Zoey towards the car.

Kim felt Roman come up next to her as she was waiting for Adam to help Zoey into the car. "Hey." Roman's softly spoken greeting still made Kim jump slightly. Her nerves were completely frayed and she knew she was on the verge of loosing it again.

"Hey, Roman. Adam's going to give us a ride. Zoey needs him. I'm so sorry about tonight."

Roman was already shaking his head as he placed a hand on Kim's shoulder.

"You shouldn't even be thinking about that right now. Take care of Zoey. Call me if you need anything."

Kim nodded her head and then noted that Adam was holding the back door open for her. Kim got in quickly and felt the door close behind her. Kim pulled Zoey into her arms and waited as she watched Adam walk up to Olinsky and take the set of keys he was holding. Kim could see that Erin was handing Adam something else, but she couldn't see what. He finally got into the car and Kim was relieved when he finally shut the door to drown out the noise. He turned around and was holding something out to her. It took Kim a moment to get herself to focus on the object in front of her. It was Zoey's stuffed unicorn. Kim took it tenetively and then placed it in front of her niece. Zoey wrapped her arms around the soft toy that she had cherished since she was seven. "Thank you." Zoey's soft voice was a welcome sound since it was the first words Kim had heard her speak that did not sound laced with fear and pain. Kim felt the car pull out onto the street and she closed her eyes and buried her face in Zoey's hair. She had no idea how she was going to get through the night.

Walking into her apartment later caused the pit in Kim's stomach to grow bigger. Her apartment was so quiet despite being in the city and the sound of all of their steps just seemed to echo on the walls. Kim had no idea what to do. She placed her keys on the hook inside her kitchen and turned around. Adam was standing behind Zoey with his hands on her shoulders like he was trying to keep her niece grounded. Zoey's eyes just looked haunted. Kim looked down at Zoey's feet and knew she needed to get cleaned up. "Hey, why don't you and I head into the bathroom and get you cleaned up. Ok?"

Kim looked up at Adam, "You'll wait here, right? Adam will stay here." Adam squeezed Zoey's shoulders. "Yeah. I'll order some dinner or something." Kim watched as her niece took Adam's jacket off her shoulders and handed it to him. She turned and started to head for the bathroom without a word. Kim followed her and tried to hold herself together.

* * *

Adam paid the pizza guy and closed the door behind him. He knew that no one was going to eat tonight, but he guessed that like the girls he was just trying to put one foot in front of the other to get through the night. He had already knocked to let Kim know that Zoey's bag was outside the door. Erin had thought ahead for them all and made sure to pack the necessities that Zoey would need for a few days. Checking now, Adam saw that the bag was gone from the hallway, so he at least knew they were still moving. Adam placed the pizza down on the kitchen table and felt his phone buzz in his pocket.

 _You still up for drinks?_

Adam had completely forgot about Nicole. He sent her a quick text letting her know that something had come up and that he would get back to her about a rain check. Adam made his way into the living room and felt his phone vibrate again. This time it was Olinsky. Adam answered it and tried to keep his voice down since you could still hear a pin drop in the apartment. "Hey, kid. How's it going?"

"Kim's trying to get Zoey settled."

"Has she talked about what happened at all?"

"No."

"Ok. Voight wants you to stay there for as long as they want. If she gives you anything, let us know. If not, don't worry about it. Platt also wants me to relay that Kim's been placed on leave. As long as she needs since we don't know what the custody situation is."

"Ok, I'll let her know."  
Adam hung up the phone and just let his head sit in his hands. When did he even sit down? The sound of foot steps brought Adam's head up and he saw Kim standing in the doorway. He wasn't even sure how she was still standing. She looked like a stiff breeze would knock her over. "Did I hear the door bell?"  
Adam nodded and moved to put his phone away while he explained. "Pizza is in the kitchen if you even want it. Figured it would be easy to keep for awhile if not."

Kim walked around the back of her couch and took a seat across from Adam. "Zoey finally fell asleep. I had to promise to stay with her. I also had to promise her that you would stay on the couch tonight."

"Absolutely."  
Kim began to rub her hands together and Adam knew that she was reaching her limit, but was too stubborn to concede defeat. There was something on her mind.

"Adam, how was Zoey when you found her? What do you think she saw?"

So that was it. She needed to know. Adam took a deep breath and wiped his face.

"She was backed in the corner of her tree house when I finally got up there. She had to let the ladder down for me first. She didn't talk much, but she knows what happened. I don't think she saw anything, but I am pretty sure that she heard plenty."

Adam watched as Kim dropped her head in her hands and she swallowed the sob that was threatening to get out. She sat back up and just kept nodding her head.

"Ok, You know where the blankets and stuff are. I think I'm going to go to bed. I just. I can't."

Adam watched as Kim got up and headed back down the hallway. He rubbed his forehead to try and get the wretched feeling out of him. His heart was breaking for them both and he felt like he couldn't do a thing for them. Adam found the pillow and small blanket he would use for the night, but knew he probably wouldn't sleep much as he tried to stretch out on Kim's small couch.

At first, he didn't hear it, but then the muffled sobs carried into the room. Adam couldn't just lay there. He got up and went to the first door which he knew was Zoey's. Listening for a second, he could tell that she was not the one causing the noise. Adam got to the second door which was still open a crack and he could see Kim curled up in a ball on her side trying to muffle her cries with her pillow. Adam stood in the door way for just a moment debating if he should go in. He still loved her and no matter what state their relationship had been in no one should suffer through that alone. Adam made his way to the side of the bed and kneeled down next to her. "Kim." He began to gently smooth her hair away from her face and she initially tried to look down away from him. He thought she was going to tell him to leave, but then she turned back to look at him. Kim let go of the pillow and wrapped her arms around Adam's neck. He pulled her to him and let her fall apart. The convulsive sobs that came out of her nearly ripped Adam's heart in two and he continued to hold her as tight as he dared to try and keep her together. He stayed like that. Holding Kim to him till he felt her tears subside and he noted that her breathing had evened out. He looked down to make sure she was sleeping and gently got her back in stood and made his way back towards the living room. He sat on the couch and just stared out into space. Yeah. Sleep was a joke.

At some point he must of slept. Adam felt himself jerk awake and found himself staring at the ceiling of Kim's living room. He went to roll to his side and saw Kim sitting in the arm chair across from the couch. She was holding a cup of tea in her hands like she was trying to get the warmth from the mug to permeate through her hands to the rest of her body. Kim gazed down towards the floor and then back to Adam.

"How long do you think she has been there?"

Adam's brain was still fuzzy so initially he couldn't even understand her question. But then he looked down to where Kim had gazed earlier and he saw Zoey fast asleep. She had dragged a pillow and the blanket from her bed and made a makeshift pallet on the floor between the couch and the coffee table. Adam reached for his phone on the coffee table and checked the time. It was 7am.

"Must of been sometime after 3am. She didn't even wake me up."

Kim scratched at her forehead before speaking. "Would you mind staying with her? I have some phone calls to make. I don't want her to hear."

"Of course. Anything."

Kim stood up and walked back towards her bedroom and shut the door. Adam looked back down at Zoey and knew that the world as that girl knew it was over. Again.


	2. Denial

**AN:** Thank you all so much for the reviews, favorites, and follows. This story takes some creative license with the character backgrounds since they haven't really explained Kim's family dynamic on the show. I will say that as is true in real life that even though I have named these chapters after the stages of grief that you will see that they all kind of overlap. Also, do not expect them to happen in order. I hope you enjoy this next stage and I will apologize in advance if updates take awhile. These chapters are longer than I am use to writing and I am getting ready to go through a major move, so will have some other priorities in the not to distant future. Happy Reading.

* * *

 **Denial**

It's not just a river in Egypt. Kim was actually grateful for it at the moment. Denial was what was getting her through each day. It was that thing that came when the shock wore off, but you were still expected to function. How are you supposed to function like any kind of human when the closest family you had were now gone? The last week had been a blur of phone calls and plans. Erika and Aaron's law firms were insistent on helping with the funeral preparations which meant that Kim had been to countless meetings to discuss flowers, programs, and what would and would not be released to the press. She had no idea how successful Aaron had become as a trial lawyer and was overwhelmed by the number of flowers and cards that had already landed on her door step addressed to Zoey.

Denial was also the only thing that allowed her to keep herself together as she had dealt with her parents. Her mother had become incoherent over the phone at the news initially and her father had only said that they would call back. Kim had gotten through her whole list of phone calls before her mother had pulled herself together and reported that the earliest that she could make it to Chicago was a week. Her father would not be coming. Something about a business commitment. Kim gripped the steering wheel of her car and tried to hold in her anger. It was leaking out at intervals, but her mind kept it in tight check. That's what they had told her in school. The stages of grief can blur at times. No shit, Sherlock. Kim pulled up to the airport and started to look for parking. No way could she just circle around and look for her mother. The lecture she would get for that would never end. No matter who died.

* * *

Adam was sitting next to Zoey on the sofa and knew that the girl next to him wasn't really paying any attention to the television. It was on for background noise to whatever was going on in her head. It had been about a week and Adam had not spent this much time in Kim's apartment since they were dating. He had basically taken up residence on her couch at night. When he did get called into work, Keven would split the shift with him so that Zoey always had one of them around. Voight had approved it for two reasons. One was that they still had no idea she was still in danger. All the previous killings had been of families. Parents and children had been killed together. Zoey was the only survivor. The second reason had been a bit more complicated. Zoey was adamant that it only be Adam and Kevin. Kim had tried once to have Roman sit with her and Zoey had insisted that she would just go to the funeral home with Kim. Adam wasn't sure how that conversation went down since Kevin had been the one to get the call that he was needed. Adam wouldn't touch that one with a ten-foot pole.

He was about to check his phone to see whether Kim had picked up her Mom yet when Zoey exhaled quite loudly. Adam looked over and saw that she was obviously debating something.

"What's up, Z?"

Adam use to call Zoey by her initial all the time when he and Kim would meet up with them at a restaurant or a park in the city. They always met half way which is why Adam had not recognized the address a week ago. Zoey's brown eyes found Adam's and she scrunched up her mouth.

"What's Aunt Kim doing now?"

Adam checked his phone and saw that there was no update.

"She's at the airport picking up your grandmother."

Zoey started to pick at non-existent lint on the couch.

"The one that I've only met a few times. I hardly remember her."

Adam could feel himself wrinkling his forehead as he watched Zoey's behavior.

"I did not realize that."

Zoey crossed her arms across her chest and Adam could tell that something was bothering her.

"You don't think that she is going to take me away, do you?"

The light bulb turned on in Adam's mind. That was what she was worried about.

"I don't know. I would hope that you would have some say in that. Do you want to stay with your Aunt Kim?"

Zoey looked back to Adam and nodded her head. "My Mom hated growing up in New York. Aunt Kim did to."

Adam found that curious. "Did they tell you that?"

Zoey looked back at the television and nodded her head. "My Mom did. She said that grandmother and grandfather are always busy with work."

Adam took a deep breath and thought for a moment. "You know that even if you have to go to New York that you can still keep in touch with your friends or your Aunt. I'm guessing you are already on Facebook."

Zoey rolled her eyes and looked at Adam like he was an idiot.

"Ok. Stupid statement. You got me."

Zoey cracked a slight smile. The first one that Adam could remember seeing.

"My Mom said I would never have to stay with my grandparents. She and Daddy had made sure of it. What does that mean?"

Adam figured that since both of Zoey's parents were lawyers that they had probably drawn up custody paperwork. Just in case. Yeah.

"If they said that, you will probably be staying with whoever they named. Did they ever talk about that with you?"

Zoey nodded her head. "I know Mom told me that I would stay with Aunt Kim, but what if she doesn't want me?"

Adam's heart sank. "Zoey, Kim wants you. If that is what your mother wanted, then Kim will move heaven and earth to make sure that happens."

Zoey took in a deep breath. "My Mom told me other things to."

"Like what?"

Zoey pulled out her cellphone. Erin had brought over more of Zoey's stuff as the forensic team had cleared Zoey's room. Her cellphone had been one of those things. Zoey was now going through some screens on it and then she must have found what she was looking for. She handed it to Adam and he looked down to see his contact information all neatly listed. Including his rarely used email address. Adam looked back to Zoey.

"How did you get all this?"

Zoey shrugged. "My Mom gave it to me for emergencies. She said if anything ever happened and I couldn't get a hold of Aunt Kim, you were next and then Kevin. I was supposed to take my phone with me when I ran. I forgot it."

So many things began to fall into place for Adam. "Zoey, was your treehouse a part of an escape plan?"

Zoey was locking her phone as she spoke. "Yes."

Adam sat back and rubbed his mouth with his hand. Kim's sister had saved her daughter's life.

"She's not staying with us, is she?"

Adam had to shake his head to follow Zoey's line of thought.

"Um.. I believe so. I think she is going to be sleeping in Kim's room."

Zoey scrunched up her eyes. "Where will you sleep then if Aunt Kim is on the couch?"

Adam shifted uncomfortably. He wasn't sure this apartment was big enough for all of them. And it was going to be quite awkward.

"I might have to go back to my apartment." The look on Zoey's face told him that this plan was totally unacceptable. "Or I could take the floor." The tension in Zoey's body seemed to lessen and Adam wondered exactly how much Zoey had heard that night.

* * *

Kim hated funerals. It didn't matter whose they were. This one was just plain torture. Sitting at the front of the church for the wake made her feel like her mourning was being placed on display. Plus, Zoey was plastered to her side and she knew she was feeling the eyes on her as well. Erika and Aaron would be missed by this community. The sheer number of people in the church overwhelmed Kim. The outpouring of flowers, cards, and food was too much to deal with.

Looking up to the front of the church and seeing their photos up there as the minister was giving the service was making all of this real. Her mother sat next to her with delicate little tears rolling down her cheeks at the minister's heartfelt and kind words. Kim didn't know how her mother was doing it. Zoey and Kim were a mess. Kim knew her eyes were blood shot and puffy and her makeup had deserted her a good thirty minutes ago. Not her mother. Ever the poised and put together Eva Burgess, she even mourned with composure. Kim knew her mother was devastated, but her pride would never allow her to look weak in front of people.

When the service finally ended and Kim made her way out with Zoey and her mother, Roman came up and gave her a quick hug. "I'll see you at the reception." Kim appreciated the gesture. She had not even had a chance to call him this week and when she even had a moment and thought about it she was too exhausted.

The three women headed for the limo that the law firm had provided and Zoey stopped before the door. Kim saw that she was looking over the crowd like she was searching for someone. Kim rubbed her niece's shoulders.

"You won't see them. They are blending in so they can work security. Kevin and Adam will be at the reception. They promised."

Zoey got in the limo without a word and Kim saw her mother arch a perfectly formed eyebrow. Kim figured that the mention of Adam's name was what had caused that. Kim got in the car and busied herself with trying to get Zoey situated to avoid any comment from her mother to go along with that eyebrow.

* * *

The reception was an out of body experience for Kim. It was all too well done for her taste. Too stuffy. But then again, she had to remind herself that Erika and Aaron were lawyers for good firms. This was expected. Her mother was making her way around the room talking with people and making introductions. Kim just didn't have it in her. Roman and Kevin had made it their place to be close to Kim for moral support. It felt weird having Sean place a hand on her back to escort her to some part of the house. The head of Aaron's firm had graciously volunteered to host this event. Kim would normally question why, but just didn't have the energy.

For some reason, Kim's mom had taken a liking to Roman and would wave the two of them over whenever she felt that they needed to talk to someone. Kim was pretty close to her limit and was about to excuse herself to go look for Zoey when one of Aaron's partners came up to her.

"Kim Burgess?" Kim nodded and extended her hand to shake the tall dark haired man's hand. "I am so sorry for your loss. My name is Derek West. I worked with Aaron. I was also in charge of his estate planning."

Kim could feel her spine straighten in tension. She was worried about this. What if they had placed Zoey with her mother? Erika wouldn't do that would she?

"I'm not sure if this is the time, but here is my card. We can schedule the reading when you are ready, but I assumed with Zoey you would want that settled quickly."

Kim could feel herself robotically take the card and nod her head.

"I have not met him yet, and wasn't sure if he would be here. Could you also make sure that Adam Ruzek is there as well? Erika told me that he worked with you."

Kim shut her eyes and then reopened them trying to understand what the man was implying. She felt Roman stiffen and then begin to fidget at the mention of Adam.

"Um sure. I can do that. Does my mother need to be there as well? She is only in town for the next two days?"

She could see that Derek was weighing his words. "Would not hurt. Once again, I am so sorry for your loss. Aaron was an amazing man and he and Erika will be missed."

Kim continued to stare after the man as he walked away. Roman put his arm around Kim's shoulders and gave a gentle squeeze. "Why would Adam need to be there?" Kim shook her head. She had no idea.

* * *

Adam found Zoey in one of the back rooms of what he could only call a mansion. This was not a house. He had never been in one and felt like he was completely out of place. The kid looked overwhelmed. She was surrounded by her friends and what probably had started out as good moral support was quickly turning into too much.

Adam had scanned the room and saw that Kim was being ferried around by her mother and Roman. Adam wanted to be irritated at the way that Roman was possessively placing his hand on Kim's low back, but under the circumstances if Kim needed him then he would not ruin that.

Adam looked back to Zoey and saw that there were some tears forming in the corners of her eyes as her friends continued to give her hugs and then their parents would follow. Adam made his way through the crowd of people and placed a gentle hand on Zoey's shoulder.

"Do you need a minute, Z?" Zoey looked up and nodded her head. "Excuse us."

The woman in front of them looked like she was offended that Adam would dare keep her from extending her condolences, but Adam could have cared less. He steered Zoey out the back and down the back porch. The large grounds out the back gave them plenty of space to walk.

Adam looked towards a particular corner of the property and could just make out the white van that he knew held Olinsky and Halstead. They were not going to let anything happen to that little girl. Adam wondered how many in the party would be shocked to know that he was carrying while dressed in his best suit.

The two of them walked in silence till they found a bench under a large tree in the yard. Adam wasn't going to talk unless Zoey wanted to. He figured that she had done enough talking all afternoon. They just enjoyed the quiet and the space. Zoey began to kick her feet and Adam finally realized how truly petite Kim's niece was. She was small for eleven. Apparently, Kim had gotten all the height in the family. Zoey looked like she was going to be lucky to hit 5'2'' by the time she was fully grown. Adam wondered if that is what had his protective instincts kicking in.

Adam took a sip from the glass he was still holding and let the cool liquid sooth his throat.

"How can people be so fake?"

Ok, talking was apparently on the table after all. "I don't know. Hard times bring the best and worst out of people."

Zoey scoffed. "You mean that people suck."

Adam nearly chocked on the sip of water he had been taking. "Um. No, that's not what I mean. And when did you start talking like that?"

Zoey crossed her arms across her chest. "Sorry. That one girl in there. A week ago she would have never said a word to me at school. Now she is giving me a hug and talking about how we will have to eat together at lunch. I don't get it."

Adam saw now. Zoey was getting a crash course in human nature. Not that she wasn't at that age for the cruelness of school social interaction, but despite keeping her out for the last week she was now having to deal with what she was going to be going back to.

"Wow. That does suck." Zoey gave Adam an eye roll. "What? I'm the adult here. I can talk like that."

There it was. The small smile again. Adam heard one of the back doors to the house open up and he saw Kim walk out onto the back porch. He observed her looking over the back lawn and knew she was probably searching for them. Adam stood up so that she could see him over some of the bushes that lined the lawn. Kim began walking in their direction so Adam sat back down.

"Kim's on her way over." Zoey nodded. "Grandmother isn't with her, right?"

"No."

"Good."

Kim walked up to the bench and sat down on the other side of Zoey. She didn't say a word. She just started to lightly play with a strand of Zoey's hair. Zoey wasn't talking so Adam figured he had been nominated.

"We just needed some air." He saw Kim raise an eyebrow. "Same here."

The three of them just sat there and listened to the low hum of the reception continue without them. Adam could smell the grass and the light vanilla of Kim's perfume. He felt Zoey take the glass of water from his hand and she took a sip. He let her keep the glass and he squeezed her shoulder. He was about to get up to give the two of them some space when Kim caught his eye. She shook her head to give him permission to stay and he settled back in place. Sometimes words are not needed. Sometimes, he guessed, that someone's presence was enough.

* * *

Kim knew she was fidgeting. She and her mother were sitting in the chairs opposite of Derek West's desk and Adam was off to the side leaning against the wall. Kim's mom kept throwing her side eye, but it still didn't stop her. Her nerves were completely fried. She had put off this meeting as long as she dared. Her mother was leaving this evening and had insisted that they schedule the meeting for the morning, so she could make plans.

Kim knew that her mother felt that Zoey's best option was to move with her to New York. She had told her as much the other night after Zoey had gone to bed. Kim had tried to explain that she thought that moving Zoey out of the city would be too much change too soon. Particularly since she wouldn't know anyone in New York. Her mother had not been deterred.

"After all Kim, you aren't married and working as a cop is so dangerous. That isn't exactly the most stable environment for a child."

Kim wanted to fire back that her and her father flying off at a moment's notice for whatever business meeting and leaving her and her sister with the housekeeper wasn't exactly stable either, but she held her tongue.

Kim looked over to where Adam was standing. He looked relatively calm, but she could see him working the toothpick in his mouth with his tongue. He'd quickly rearranged his work schedule when Kim had told him about the meeting and that Mr. West had required his presence. Kim had asked if he had any idea why that was and Adam was just as clueless as she was. The door finally opened to the office and Derek West quickly made his way behind his desk.

"So sorry about that. Wanted to make sure that I had everything ready and copies for you to take with you after we are done. Will make things easier down the road. Ok. I'll try to make this as simple for you to understand as I can. Basically, Aaron and Erika left everything to Zoey. They have set up measures to move all of their financial assets into a trust for her that will be controlled by her guardians till she is 18. At that point, she will be stipulated a monthly allowance out of it till she is 21 when she is granted full control. They were very specific and have recommended a financial planner as well, but that is not required. I have his name and he is quite good. I actually use him myself."

Kim was following the man as he went through how the will dealt with the house and the cars and other assets that her sister and brother in law owned. Apparently, the house could be lived in by Zoey's guardians as long as she was there or the house could be sold and the money placed in the trust for Zoey.

"All of that can be decided at a later date. I know with the investigation still going on that the house might not be released to you for some time."

Kim noted that Derek was looking at her when he said that and it gave her a reason to hope.

"Now, in regards to Zoey. Erika and Aaron were very specific about who her guardians would be. They have named you, Kim..."

Kim let out a sigh of relief, but then realized that Derek was not finished.

"And you, Adam."

Kim looked over towards Adam and she could hear the toothpick in his mouth snap. Apparently, he was as shocked as she was. She watched as Adam removed the now broken toothpick from his mouth and he pushed off from the wall. He began to open his mouth to say something when Kim's mom talked right over him.

"This is completely unacceptable. They aren't even engaged anymore. That will must have been drawn up before they broke it off. You should be prepared that I along with my husband will be contesting that."

Derek cleared his throat to gather all of their attention.

"Ma'am, Erika and Aaron had actually reaffirmed the will only three weeks ago. They also had a clause in the will that stated under no circumstances would Zoey be placed with the maternal grandparents. There is a contingency list of people stipulated if for some reason Adam or Kim was not an option. I think you will find that any type of legal action would be for naught."

Kim tried to place a tender hand on her mother's arm, but she shrugged it off. Her mother was not finished.

"I cannot believe that they were thinking in that child's best interest. That girl should be in New York with two people. Not stuck here in Chicago with her Aunt who can barely stay in one job for longer than..."

Kim was prepared for the verbal lashing from her mother. She was angry and mourning, but what she hadn't planned on was Adam's response.

"No. You will stop right there. Zoey has already expressed to me that she does not want to go anywhere with you. She wants to stay with Kim and after this display I can understand why."

Kim watched as her mom slowly turned her attention squarely on Adam.

"You dare to say that you know what my granddaughter wants or needs more than I do?"

Adam stood his ground. "In this case, Ma'am. I do. Zoey wants to stay with Kim."

Kim watched as her mother stood up and stormed her way out of Derek's office. Derek gave her and Adam a moment to collect themselves and then he spoke.

"These are never easy. I have copies of the paperwork for both of you. If you have any questions, please do not hesitate to give me a call. I've attached my card to both packets as well."

Derek handed them the paperwork and then Adam and Kim headed for the front of the building. As they were walking out of the front doors, they both caught the back of Kim's mom getting into what Kim guessed was a chauffeured car. Guess the law firm wanted to avoid any kind of scene when they left.

"Where do you think she is headed?" Kim heard Adam's question, but felt like she was someone else when she answered it.

"Probably the airport."

"Do you think she is going to be a problem?"

Kim shook her head. Her mother was many things, but underhanded and destructive on purpose was not one of them. "No. She'll head home and lick her wounds. Erika blindsided her with that one. I half expected Derek to say that my parents had custody."

"Was never going to happen." Kim was surprised at Adam's statement. "Zoey told me that your sister had assured her that she would never go to her grandparents. She had promised her that she would be going with you. Your sister was quite open with her."

Kim hugged the packet to her chest and then turned to Adam.

"How are we going to do this, Adam?"

The tight smile that Adam gave her told Kim that he was also still coming to terms with the events of that afternoon.

"I guess we will have to take it one day at a time. She is your niece, Kim. She is meant to be with you. I will be here for anything that you both need. Rides to school or dance. Whatever."

Kim smiled and let out a sigh of relief. A helping hand would be welcome. She would bet that she was going to have to take him up on that more than she would want to admit.

* * *

 **Post AN** : Reviews are always appreciated. Lets me know how the story is being received. Thanks!


	3. Bargaining

**AN: Thank you so much for all the reviews! Hope you enjoy!**

* * *

 **Bargaining**

Kim knew that most people think that bargaining is praying to God if they do something differently or if they change in some way that their loved one will be returned to them. Sure people might wish that, but no. Kim knew what they really meant by bargaining. Bargaining was control. Bargaining was creating order and understanding during a time of completely no control. Most of the time they say that anger comes after denial. Kim had no time for anger. She also had no rational for it right now. Right now she needed order and direction. Over the last month her whole world and schedule had changed. Where before she could just plop down on the couch after a hard day of chasing perps down dark alleys, now Kim had to pick up Zoey, make sure she did her homework, and make her an actual meal to eat. Planning had become Kim's middle name. Some days she felt like she had every minute of the day planned. The driving at work was becoming an issue to. Garcia was going to scream soon if Kim didn't let him drive. She knew she needed to let that one go, but knowing something and actually doing it were two different things.

Kim ran into the precinct with Zoey hot on her heels. She got to the SGT's desk and Platt immediately was giving her the hairy eyeball. "What is this, Burgess?"

"SGT, can Zoey please sit with you for a minute? My after school plan for today completely fell through."

"I told you not to trust her." Kim turned and gave Zoey the look that said she was not helping. "Maybe Adam or Kevin can stay with me."

"I'm sure they are still working. Sarg?" Platt waved Zoey back behind the desk.

"Come on back. I could use some help with wrangling all these officers and I think you are just the person to put them in their place."

Kim mouthed a thank you as she turned to head towards the stairs. Atwater and Adam were just heading down and Adam immediately noted Kim's harried look.

"What's going on? What's Zoey doing behind the desk?"

"Samantha's mother fell through on that ride to dance class from school this afternoon. Waited to call me till the last minute. I think she knew her kid was out of school with the flu all day."

Kim watched as Adam and Atwater looked towards each other. They nodded and turned to head past Kim. Kim had no idea what had just transpired, but she quickly realized that meant they had it.

"Hey, Z! Give Kev and I about thirty minutes to go drop something off and we'll get you to dance class. It's not for another forty-five minutes right?"

Zoey was nodding her head behind the desk while helping Platt hand out keys to squad cars.

"Ok, what do you want for dinner on the way home. We'll get take out."

Kim started to pip up that there was already dinner ready in the fridge when Zoey yelled out, "Chinese." Kevin placed a hand on Kim's shoulder in sympathy. "Best to just let it go. You won't win that one. I'll take Adam's on call tonight. We were almost done here anyway. We got you. Just call us next time. We'll always work something out upstairs for you."

"I just hate asking all the time."

"You can't control everything."

Kevin left Kim and headed after Adam so they could finish their work. Kim rolled her shoulders to get the tension out of the latest crisis being averted and headed for the locker room.

* * *

Adam could not believe he let an eleven-year-old girl pick the movie. Zoey had finished her homework early tonight and she had begged to be able to watch a movie. Said she hadn't gotten to watch one in a while. He had spent twenty minutes negotiating over movies when he had finally given up. She was going to win anyway, so he figured nothing she could pick would be that bad. Then he saw the period costumes and knew he was in trouble. Ok. It wasn't all bad. Kiera Knightly was in it and the low cut dresses on all the pretty girls was nice to look at, but Pride and Prejudice would not have been his first choice. He was going to fall asleep. Zoey, however, was fully engrossed and hugging the couch pillow with a smile on her face. Looking at the coffee table, Adam decided he better clean up all the take out containers before he fell asleep and then Kim came home to a disaster area. He started to grab them and went to stand up.

"You're going to miss the best part."

"I think I'll live."

"You are never going to get Aunt Kim back with that attitude."

Adam came to a complete halt. He was never going to what? He shook his head and just let it go. He dumped the containers in the trash can and took a moment in the kitchen. He walked back into the living room and sat down. His phone buzzed and he looked down to see a text from Atwater.

 _Aaron's case load is a dead end. No connections. Voight really wants us to try and talk to Zoey. See if she remembers anything. Figured I would give you a heads up. Let you talk with Kim._

Adam silently cursed to himself. The team had been combing through Aaron Martin's case load for anything that would connect him to the previous incidents. The unit had placed their bets on Aaron since he was the criminal trial lawyer and had the most connections to people that would do something like this. Apparently they had bet wrong. Kim got home late from her shift that night and Zoey was already in bed. Kim looked tired and just ready to call it a night, but Adam knew he had to get this conversation over with. Kim was heating up leftovers in the microwave when Adam broached the topic in the kitchen.

"We hit a dead end with Aaron's case load."

Adam watched Kim grip the edges of her kitchen counter like she was trying not to get angry.

"Yeah. Well, what's next?"

"Voight wants to talk to Zoey."

Kim spun towards him and Adam immediately put his hands up to quiet her.

"Wait, I'm not finished. You know I would never let him bring her down to the station. I was thinking you and I could do it here. She trusts us. She needs to talk about it, Kim. How many nightmares has she had this week? I think brushing it under the rug has gone on long enough, don't you?"

Kim leaned back against the counter and let her head fall down.

"I hate that she is going to have to relive it. I know we should have done this earlier, but...I was hoping that maybe she wouldn't have to."

Adam felt for Kim. She was being so strong for Zoey and had stubbornly soldiered on when other people would have crumbled. Adam was about to say something about heading out but Zoey interrupted him.

"I don't remember much."

Kim and Adam turned towards Zoey who must have heard the whole conversation from the hallway. Adam would forgive her if she was ready to get this over with. Zoey began to pick at her fingernails as she spoke.

"I just remember being upstairs getting ready for bed when there was a big crash. Like glass breaking. And then my Mom was screaming and Dad was shouting. I heard a scuffle and Dad was telling Mom to get to me. I went to the top of the stairs and I could see Mom at the bottom."

Zoey took a deep breath and then wrapped her arms around herself as if she needed the extra support.

"Some man grabbed her from behind and that was when she yelled at me to run. I think Dad was still fighting with the other one."

Adam and Kim were frozen. Afraid that if they moved that the spell would be broken and she would quit talking.

"I ran. I ran to the window and climbed downstairs. I followed our plan. Like I told you. We had a plan."

Adam could see Kim's eyes get larger at the shock of Zoey's statement. Adam stepped forward to allow Kim time to process what Zoey was saying.

"So there were two of them?"

Zoey nodded her head in confirmation and Adam ran his hand through his hair.

"Thank you for telling us that. It couldn't have been easy. That was a big help. We didn't realize there were two of them."

Zoey was still standing with her arms crossed and tightly gripping her waist. She looked down at her feet.

"Can I get my water now? School tomorrow and everything."

Adam got out of Zoey's way and Kim handed her a glass from the cabinet. Zoey filled it and then left the room. Adam looked back at Kim, but she shook her head. She didn't want to talk about it. He took his cue and left.

Adam walked into the bullpen and saw Voight staring at him through his window. Adam figured that he had better just go to Voight with what Zoey had told him. Adam knocked on the doorframe and Voight waved him in.

"Look, Sarg. Kim and I talked with Zoey last night. She didn't really see much, but she did say that it was two men. I know we had assumed prior to this that it was just one, but she was pretty positive that there was two. I'm also thinking that maybe we need to clear Erika's cases. I don't know. The fact that these guys are killing off whole families just... I don't know. I have a feeling. I mean Erika was the one that gave Zoey this whole escape plan and seemed to be the one that found all that contact information on Kevin and I. I mean she even had Kev's and my UC phones. I know she's a Mom and just wanted to protect Zoey, but that seems like a lot of prep."

Voight just nodded along with everything that Adam said. Adam started to get worried that he was stepping over his line. Voight had taken him off the case due to his connection with Zoey and Kim.

"I think your right. Have Mouse look into it. I still don't want you involved, but yeah. Have him run it."

"Thanks, Sarg."

Adam hoped that they would find something soon. It was only a matter of time before another family had to go through what they had.

* * *

Kim walked up to her apartment door with Roman not far behind her. Dinner had gone well, but her mind had been all over the place. She had put Roman off on their date for over a month and he had been very understanding, but she thought she could use the night out. Zoey had been agreeable enough to have Kevin stay with her tonight, but had not exactly been friendly to Sean when he had picked Kim up. Kim took a deep breath as she turned to thank Sean for dinner. He had a slight smile on his face.

"I will assume that I am not getting an invitation inside, so I guess this is good night."

"Um...Yeah. No. Thank you so much for dinner. I'm sorry I had to put it off this long."

"Kim. You have nothing to apologize for. I'll see you tomorrow."

Sean leaned forward a placed a light kiss on Kim's lips and then stepped back before leaving her. Kim watched him go and then unlocked her apartment door. She could hear the television was still on in the den and she made her way there. Zoey was fast asleep on one end of the sofa and Kevin was watching the end of what looked like 13 Going On 30. Zoey had seemingly won the movie debate again.

"Hi."

Kevin turned around and shook his head. "I think she likes to torture us with these romantic comedies. Tell me she makes you watch action flicks. Please make me feel better."

Kim just smiled.

"If it makes you feel better, sure."

"How was the date?"

Kim shuffled her feet some. "It was nice."

Kevin's face scrunched up in a way that looked like it hurt.

"Ouch. Poor guy. Nice is never good."

"No, Kev. It was nice. I mean it was just dinner."

"Burgess. Nice is what you call dinner with your mom or your sister. No guy ever wants to hear that his dinner date was nice. What was wrong?"

Kim finally placed her purse on the side table behind the couch.

"I don't know. Nothing. I mean. Just a lot has happened and I think I was just off. It's been awhile since Roman and I just hung out, so we're just figuring things out."

Kevin stood up and looked down at Zoey. "You want me to move her to her room for you?"

"If you don't mind. Thanks, Kev."

"No problem." Kevin moved Zoey to her room without waking her and headed out the door. Kim stood in the door frame watching her niece sleep for a few moments before heading to bed herself. She laid in bed that night and thought about what had been wrong during the evening. Kim had found herself having a hard time relaxing. Her mind kept thinking about what Zoey had coming up on the calendar and what she needed to get from the store. Apparently, her ability to relax and just go with the flow was seriously out of practice.


	4. Anger

**AN:** Ok, something I have noticed after writing a couple of these stories is that there is always that one chapter or one section of a story that just messes with you. Did I push the characters to far? Did I not push them far enough? Are they still even in character? Should I have gone a different direction? Well, this chapter is it for this story. I had what I would call maybe a tamer version. I finally convinced myself that it didn't work. I write pretty far ahead in my stories so that I have an idea where I want chapters to end and to give chapters like this one time to marinate. That time has given you this version, so I hope you enjoy it and I hope that it lives up to the name of the chapter. Happy reading!

* * *

 **Anger**

Anger is such a tricky state to be in. It sneaks up on you. It rears its ugly head when you least expect it and can eat you alive if you aren't careful. Anger was something that up to this point, Kim felt like she had done a pretty good job keeping under wraps. The problem is when you keep it contained for so long it does one of two things. It explodes like a nuclear bomb on someone or it comes out in waves and makes small disagreements so much bigger. Kim should have known this was coming. Not only had she been keeping so much inside, but Zoey had been doing the same thing. Doggedly pretending that everything was okay never worked, but after everything neither of them had known what else to do. The argument was only a matter of time. And it probably never should have happened. Kim and Zoey had just gotten home from dance class and Zoey had dumped her bag on the ground. "Get started on your homework. Kevin will be over in a bit with dinner. He said something about pizza, I think."

"Why is Kevin coming over? Are you going out with HIM again?"

"He has a name, Zoey. Yes, Sean is just taking me out for dinner. We haven't gone out for over a week."

"I don't like him."

"Well, you haven't exactly given him much of a chance either. You don't even know him."

"I don't need to. I know I wouldn't like him."

"Zoey that is childish and I would expect more from you. You shouldn't judge him just because he isn't Adam or Kevin that you have known for years."

"That's not it. I don't like him."

"Well, you don't have to date him, so you can just stay in the den and ignore him when he comes like you always do. You will not dictate who I spend my time with."

"You are being unfair. You don't even like him that much."

"Life is unfair, Zoey."

"Yeah, I think I figured that out when my parents died. Excuse me. When they were murdered!"

Zoey spun around and stormed down the hallway to her room and slammed the door shut. Kim was absolutely stunned. How had that conversation even gotten to that point? Kim covered her face with her hands and tried to breathe through the shame of allowing an eleven-year-old girl to rile her up like that. She figured that she and Zoey both needed a minute to calm down so she headed to the shower and started to get ready for dinner. When she came out, with her hair still dripping wet to check on Zoey, Kim noticed that the apartment was quiet. Too quiet. She walked to Zoey's room and knocked on the door. When she didn't answer, Kim opened the door anyway and found it empty. Kim began to search the whole apartment and when she got to the kitchen she noticed that Zoey's backpack was gone and her keys were off the hook. Panic immediately flooded Kim's system. Zoey had taken off and there wasn't a note or a text anywhere to give Kim any kind of idea where she was headed.

* * *

Adam had just finished handing Nicole the glass of wine he had poured for her when he heard the knock at his door. He wasn't expecting anyone and he knew Olinsky shouldn't need another place to stay any time soon. He and Nicole had met for drinks a couple times over the last few months, but this was supposed to be the first time that they would actually get to hang out for more than thirty minutes. Between her busy life of playing gigs at bars around Chicago and Adam's new schedule, they had been lucky to find this one free night. "I'm sorry. I'm not expecting anyone. I swear." Nicole just smiled and waved him off. "It happens." Adam headed to the door and had little time to react to the hurricane called Zoey once he opened it. Zoey burst into the apartment without so much as asking for permission. "I hate her. Can I stay here?" Adam was reeling. How in the hell had she gotten here?

"You hate who? Kim?"

"Yes, I hate her."

"Zoey, you don't hate her. Um...Have you met Nicole?"

Zoey turned around and leveled Nicole with a stare. Nicole got up from the couch and set her glass on the kitchen island. "Hi, Zoey. It sounds like you have a lot to talk about with Adam, so I will get out of your way." Nicole walked up to Adam and gave him a quick hug. He was going to tell her that he would call, but Nicole put her hand up.

"Let's chalk it up to bad timing. You and I. It's just not meant to be. I'll see you around."

Adam watched as Nicole walked around him and out the door. Taking a brief minute to get his composure, Adam turned back to Zoey.

"Why do you hate Kim? No, first. How did you get here? Kevin is supposed to be staying with you tonight, but he isn't supposed to be at your place for another 30 minutes. Do not say Uber. So help me, Zoey. If you say Uber, I will make sure your aunt grounds you for a month."

"I took the train."

Adam had to use every ounce of will power in his body to keep from exploding. The absolute fear that this tiny human being could cause his heart to feel was mind blowing.

"So not better, Zoey. You have a cell phone. It's called call me if you are needing to get away. You do not take mass transit alone. At night or any other time of day. Do you understand me?"

Zoey was looking down at her shoes and pulling at the edge of her t-shirt.

"I had to get out of there."

Adam walked over and placed a hand on Zoey's shoulder to maneuver her to the couch. They both sat down and Adam waited for Zoey to elaborate.

"She's going out with him again. I don't like him. I know that I don't have any say in that, but it annoys me and she just waves me off. She never really asks me why."

"Ok, why?"

Zoey gave Adam a bit of side eye, but she must have realized that he actually wanted to know.

"He doesn't make her happy. Not really. He seems like an okay guy, but I've heard him talk with her when she doesn't think I'm listening. He's a dark cloud. That's the only way I can describe it."

Adam took that in and thought he knew what she meant. However, he also felt a bit strange having this conversation with her.

"Ok, well. You are right that you do not have a say in who Kim dates. Are you sure that is the only reason you are upset with her?"

"Why aren't you guys together?"

Adam took a deep breath.

"Sometimes people just don't work out."

"Do you love her?"

"A part of me will always love your aunt. Zoey, relationships are a bit more complicated than whether or not you love someone."

"They shouldn't be."

Adam smiled at that. If only that were true.

"You do know that no matter who your aunt dates in the future, that I'm not going anywhere. I don't care if she ends up marrying a Blackhawks player and he threatens to kick my ass. If you need me, I'm here."

"Ok."

"You promise to never scare me like this again?"

"Yes."

"Ok, well I need to call Kim to make sure that she has not lost her mind. I'm betting you didn't leave her a note."

Zoey looked away from Adam and he had his answer.

"Get to work on your homework. I'm assuming you brought it in that bag of yours and those aren't just bricks."

Zoey began to pull out her books from the bag and placing them on his coffee table.

Adam stepped away and pulled out his cell phone. This conversation was going to be fun. As it turned out, Adam had been next on the list of Kim's phone calls. After, calling Roman to cancel and Kevin to see if Zoey had contacted him. She took it better than he thought she would and she said she would be by in thirty minutes to pick her up. Adam agreed despite him thinking that maybe she should have given Zoey more time. Zoey had been working on her homework while Adam was watching TV. However, when he looked over at about the time he figured Kim would be showing up, he found that all the theatrics had caught up with Zoey. She had fallen asleep with her head resting on her school books. The knock at the door came and Adam got up to answer it. Opening the door, Kim was about to barge through with fire in her eyes, but Adam corralled her and kept her back towards the kitchen.

"She's asleep."

Adam watched as Kim looked over and confirmed what he had told her. The energy seemed to seep out of Kim and she leaned her forehead on Adam's chest.

"I have never been so scared in my life. How did she get here?"

Adam wrapped his arms around Kim and she actually reciprocated the hug.

"She took the train."

Kim went to pull back, but Adam held her in place.

"She and I had that conversation. She knows from now on. Use the cellphone and that doesn't mean Uber."

Kim gently pulled out of Adam's arms and crossed her arms across her waist.

"Did she say anything… about the fight?"

Adam grimaced.

"She did. You have the right to date who you want, Kim. Just talk with her. She just wants to feel like you are listening to her. I think that has more to do with it than anything."

Kim nodded and then walked over to Zoey. Adam watched as Kim gently began to stroke Zoey's hair away from her face and started to whisper her name. Zoey came awake and she tearfully began to tell Kim that she was sorry. It squeezed at Adam's heart to watch Kim pull Zoey into a hug and tell her niece the same. The girls packed up Zoey's school books and then headed for the door. Kim stopped next to Adam and gave his hand a quick squeeze. "Thanks." Adam locked up behind them and rubbed at his chest. God, his life had become quite the rollercoaster of emotions lately.

* * *

Mouse had finally gotten back to Adam about the cases that Erika Martin had been working on. He had found it. He had finally found the connection that they had been looking for. Turns out that she had been the family attorney on a case that involved a set of twin boys that ended up being taken away from their parents due to allegations of abuse. Erika had done what she could to defend the parents, but it was pretty obvious that the father was guilty. The twins had gone into the system and were now placed with an adoptive family. The adoption records were sealed so the team was pretty sure that they were safe, but had sent a cruiser to the house anyway.

The two previous murders had been foster homes. The twins had spent short stays in both homes and the team was now certain that the twins' father was involved along with his cousin. The unit had left to take them down before they could hurt anyone else and Adam had been ordered to stay behind. The waiting was killing him. He could hear Mouse typing away on his computer tying up more of the loose ends on the case which was just adding to Adam's annoyance.

Erika had hired a private investigator when they started getting threats in the mail. Adam didn't know what to think about that. The private eye had sent over all the photos and video surveillance he had done for the few months prior to the murder. He had just been told that he could back off and had discontinued the surveillance about a month prior to their death. Aaron's law firm was supposed to be picking up the slack since they were starting to think that the threats were coming from one of his cases. They had obviously done a piss poor job.

Adam looked up as he heard the team make their way up the back stairs. He stood at the end of the hallway waiting for them to bring up the suspects. When the team only came up with one, Adam saw red. "That's the cousin. Where is the other guy? He better be in the cage." Atwater came up to Adam and tried to block his view.

"He got away, Man. He beat the crap out of Halstead and Antonio before he ran. He won't get far." Adam tried to go around Kevin, but Kevin kept pushing him back.

"Let me at him, Kev. He'll tell me where that son of a bitch is."

Kevin kept pushing and all that did was piss Adam off more. He was about to actually let a fist fly when Kevin had enough and shoved Adam into the wall and then pinned him with a forearm to his chest.

"Dude. It's me. I'm not the enemy. I want to kill that asshole just as much as you do. But that is not going to get us the one that's truly behind this. It's not going to bring them back."

Adam closed his eyes to try and get himself under control. Kevin slowly began to take his arm away.

"You cool?"

Adam shook his head and let himself slide down the wall. This needed to be over. He needed to know that his girls were safe.

* * *

Adam walked up to Kim's door and knocked to see if they had gotten home early. Adam was holding Zoey's algebra book in his hand. He had found it pushed halfway underneath his coffee table from the other day and he was sure that the girls had been missing it. He hoped that she wasn't too far behind at this point. When he got no answer, Adam used his key to let himself in. Kim had given him the key right after everything had happened since he was around all the time and she had told him to keep it since he picked Zoey up from school quite frequently and Zoey might misplace hers. The place was obviously still empty and Adam headed to the kitchen to set the book on the table. He was just grabbing a piece of paper to leave them a note when he heard a knock on the door. Adam headed to the front door and discovered Roman standing on the other side. Adam found it strange to be getting the evil eye from Roman. Must be hard on the guy to be on the opposite side of jealousy. "Hey man. Kim's not here."

"Yeah? You want to explain why you are then?"

Ok. Roman was definitely not happy at Adam being there.

"Zoey left her math book at my place. I'm dropping it off. Not that it is any of your business."

"Can you move aside so I can come in? I'm meeting Kim here."

Adam stepped to the side and allowed Sean access to the apartment. He was going to try to be the bigger person.

* * *

Kim had just unlocked the door to her place with Zoey behind her. That's when she heard their voices and froze in the entrance hallway. She would recognize Adam's and Sean's voices anywhere. Let alone having an argument in her kitchen.

"Is the math book really the reason you are here, Ruzek?"

"Yes. You can see it right there on the table."

Kim held Zoey back and slowly began to make her way down the hall. She did not expect the argument to escalate as quickly as it did.

"More like it's a convenient excuse for you keep yourself entrenched in their life. It's been what? Five months. I think Kim can handle Zoey on her own. Oh wait. Voight still wants them to be protected, right? You guys sure have been slow to solve that case. Sure you aren't dragging it out to try and worm your way back into Kim's bed while she's still grieving?"

That's when Kim heard Adam's fist connect with Roman's jaw. Kim went running into her kitchen and saw Sean getting ready to come back at Adam.

"STOP IT! BOTH OF YOU."

Sean froze in place and Adam backed away. Adam turned to Kim, mumbled an 'I'm sorry' and walked past her and out the front door. Zoey was now standing in the doorway to the kitchen and she looked like she was pseudo enjoying the display she had seen. Kim turned her attention back to Roman and she could see that his lip was bleeding.

"Get out."

"Kim, I'm sorry. I was just shocked to find him here."

Kim held her hand up effectively stopping Sean's argument.

"I said get out. I need to have a conversation with my niece now about how stupid grown men can be when they feel the need to have a pissing contest. Get out."

Kim refused to look Sean in the eye as he made his way past her and finally left the apartment. Kim took a breath and turned to Zoey. She tried to figure out how best to explain to her niece what she had heard and seen.

"Don't worry, Aunt Kim. I know that Adam would never do anything to put us in danger. Roman was just jealous. He was being stupid and he said the exact thing that he knew would make Adam mad. No excuse for Adam rising to the bait."

Kim walked up to Zoey and placed her hands on her shoulders. "You are far wiser than I was at your age." Kim pulled Zoey into a hug and rocked her niece from side to side. "How about we get out of here and go get something really bad for us? Sound good?"

Zoey smiled. "Yeah."

Kim grabbed her keys again and she got them out of there. She would deal with Roman and Adam later.

* * *

Adam didn't see Kim or Roman the whole next day at work. He was thankful for that and was ready for the beer he was now drinking at Molly's. The unit had spent the whole day trying to track down CIs that might know the suspect and be willing to give him up. He could only hide for so long. That's what Adam kept telling himself. Adam knew that Zoey was at a friend's house tonight for a sleep over, so Kevin and Antonio were staking it out so they knew she was safe.

Adam would bet that Kim and Roman had something planned. Now he could admit it. It did irk him. He had never purposefully done anything to keep himself in Kim and Zoey's life, and he sure as hell wasn't trying to use this tragedy to do what Roman was insinuating. But, he would be lying to say that he still didn't love Kim. Wow. Real nice realization to have while sitting at Molly's. Adam was still dealing with that when Kim suddenly materialized next to his shoulder.

"Can I talk to you?"

Adam nodded. He couldn't avoid the tongue lashing he was going to get. He deserved it. Adam followed Kim to the back hallway where all the bathrooms and storage rooms were located. The noise was dampened and Adam silently thanked Kim for her at least being nice enough to not hand him his ass in front of everyone. Kim turned around and levelled him with a stare that meant she was ready to tear him a new one.

"Do you mind explaining to me what the hell that was?"

Adam wiped his mouth and tried to figure out how he was going to explain himself. Kim had other plans.

"On second thought, don't. That cannot ever happen again. Do you understand me? I will not have Zoey observing fist fights in our kitchen."

"I'm sorry."

Adam saw the exasperated look on Kim's face and knew that she was just warming up.

"Sorry. Ok, what the hell got into you? You know I would never think that you were in any way jeopardizing our safety."

"I know. Ok, it was a bad day."

"That's not an excuse, Adam. We all have bad days. Do you have any idea how many times I've wanted to punch people lately? You don't do that."

Adam couldn't help it. His mouth got ahead of his common sense.

"He got away, ok?!"

"What?"

Shit. The shock on Kim's face told him that it was the absolute wrong thing to say, but he couldn't stop now.

"We found them. We know who did it. I didn't want to tell you till we had them and I could tell you it was all over. We got the cousin, but the other one got away. Voight wouldn't let me anywhere near it. I was mad at the team for losing him and myself for not even being part of it, ok. He hit me right where it hurt."

"They lost one?"

Adam covered his face with his hands for a moment. He didn't want to worry her which was why he hadn't told her.

"Yeah."

Adam could see the fear in Kim's eyes mixing with her anger as her system began to ramp up.

"We will find him. We have lines out all over the city. He will not be able to hide. You know it is only a matter of time."

"He GOT away?!"

Adam knew that Kim was going to snap. He saw it in her eyes. The first shove barely moved him, but as Kim's anger and fear got hold of her she found her strength. The second and third sent Adam back several steps and he let her take it out on him. Till he saw the tears start and her chest started to heave. The next time she tried to come at him, he was able to grab her wrists and pull her to his chest. He wrapped her in his arms as she began to break down and get out all the emotion that his ill-timed revelation had caused. As she would start to catch her breath, she would still ball up her fists and try to push him away, but he just continued to hold on. He was not going to let her go running out the door still fuming and end up taking it out on someone that would be less forgiving.

Maybe he should have let her go. Maybe he should have done a lot of things. "Kim." He tried to get her attention to snap her out of it and looking into her eyes was a mistake. He wasn't sure who moved first. His grip had loosened on her slightly which had freed her arms. All he knew was that one minute she was trying to vent all her anger on him and the next one her lips were on his. It wasn't just a kiss. It was lips and teeth and tongues trying to take out the pain and fear on each other as they tried to sooth it at the same time. It was her fingers gripping his hair so hard he wasn't sure if she was punishing him or trying to pull him closer. He wasn't much better. He could feel himself squeezing his arms around her to hold her chest to his. It was all raw energy for a time, but then something changed. Her fingers loosened their grip some and his arms eased off. The kiss became more languid as their anger faded. Adam cupped the back of her head with one hand and he could feel her relax into it as she continued to sooth the previous brutality on his lips with her own. The sound of footsteps coming down the hallway was what popped the bubble. They both backed away from each other quickly and tried to act like nothing had happened as some paramedic from another district walked by to head towards the bathroom. Kim nervously tucked her hair behind her ear as her chest was still rising and falling in quick succession. Adam was sure his was doing the same.

"You've got Zoey after school on Monday, right?"

Adam pushed his hands in his pockets and nodded. "Yeah. You got it."

"Ok. See you."

Adam watched as Kim walked back down the hallway. When she disappeared from view, Adam covered his face with his hands. That woman was going to be the end of him.

* * *

Kim walked into her quiet apartment and just kept thinking. What had she done? That kiss had slammed home some hard truths that just made Kim angry. At herself. She sat down on the couch and just kept rubbing her hands along her thighs. She could still feel his lips on hers. Her heart rate wanted to speed up just thinking about it. That was it. That was what had been wrong with her and Roman. It wasn't the time apart after a tragedy. It was what they didn't have. That spark. That chemistry that can get set off with just the slightest reason. Kim put her head in her hands as she realized what she was going to have to do. That kiss didn't mean that anything was going to happen with Ruzek, but she knew it meant that she had to end things with Roman. She couldn't string him along because she felt comfortable and safe in their semi relationship. Kim grabbed her cell phone and texted to see where Roman was. She would do him the courtesy of doing this in person. And then she would buy a tub of ice cream on the way home.

 **Post AN** : As always, reviews are very much appreciated. Throw figurative tomatoes if you need to or praise the insanity. Thanks!

P.S.: I really don't dislike Roman's character. I know it probably seems that way from all my stories. He's just the proverbial punching bag currently. Sorry, Roman! LOL!


	5. Depression

**AN:** So this chapter is a beast. Longest one I have ever written and probably the most emotionally draining. I hope you appreciate the effort. Thank you so much for the responses and the follows. I know I say this all the time, but all that feedback really does help me know that you are enjoying the story and that it is coming across the way I want. Your support is amazing!

* * *

 **Depression**

It's not just sadness. Its deeper than that. It wasn't the break up with Roman that triggered Kim's. Ironically, it was the very thing that should have signaled that the worst was over. Kim would never forget that day. She had just come in the precinct with Garcia after having picked up some files from storage for Platt. Kim was lugging one of the big boxes to the desk when she saw Adam heading in her direction. He looked drained. Like he had been through every emotion possible in a short period of time. Kim dropped her box on top of the one Garcia had placed behind the desk and she made her way over to him.

"Is everything ok?"

Adam placed both of his hands on her upper arms and gave them a gentle squeeze.

"We got him. He's dead, Kim. Atwater had no choice. It's over."

Kim felt like she went through the whole mourning process all over again in that one minute. He was dead. Adam pulled her into his arms and she wrapped her arms around his waist as tight as she could. It wasn't something that happened immediately after that, either. It was a slow process over the next month. She found herself just going through the motions and another week would be over and she would wonder where it had gone in the fog of her brain. Kim also began to feel guilty. She had quit having her normal coffee dates with Erin not long after Erika and Aaron had died and not having that quality time with another female made Kim even sadder.

She noticed a similar change in Zoey. She, who normally would have been ecstatic that her birthday was around the corner, seemed to take the coming milestone with a shrug and a wave of the hand. Her teachers were now starting to contact Kim and the comments were all the same. Showing some lack of focus. Grades have fallen slightly. Still a joy to have in class. Just seems off. Kim was worried, but had no idea how to handle it. How could she even ask Zoey what was wrong when she was having a hard time figuring that out herself.

In the end, Erin began the process of trying to snap Kim out of it. One day as Kim was headed out the door from another shift, Erin cornered her at the entrance.

"Coffee tomorrow morning after you drop Zoey off at school. No excuses. I know you have time. I checked with Ruzek and Atwater."

"Sounds good. But who says they would know if I was free?"

Erin just waved over her shoulder as she went to head in and let her parting shot hit Kim with the truth. "Everyone."

That is why Kim was now pushing her way through the crowd of people that all seemed to have the same idea on this morning to a back booth so she could have her coffee date with Erin. Erin already had their coffee waiting and Kim was relieved that she wouldn't have to wait in that line.

"What a mad house."

"It's a bit crazy. How have you been doing?"

"I'm ok. I am so sorry that we haven't done this in a while. I feel awful."

"Kim, hey. I know you've been busy. It's not like your whole life hasn't changed over the last six or seven months. Don't worry about me. We start over today. Figured you needed some girl time by now."

"Yeah. You have no idea."

"So. Adam and Kevin are both a bit worried about you."

Kim bit her tongue to keep herself from just blurting out that she was fine. She had said it so much over the last four weeks that even she was realizing how bad the lie was. Instead she pushed her hair back from her face and then leaned forward on her elbows.

"I just feel like I'm in a fog. I thought I was through all the denial about what had happened, but I don't know. I guess with you all closing the case it just hit home that it all really happened and this isn't some bad dream. I watch Zoey at her dance lessons and I feel incredibly guilty that my sister isn't there to see it. Cause it should be her."

Erin reached across the table and took Kim's hand.

"Honey, I guarantee you that she is glad that you are there. If she couldn't be, then she would be at peace knowing that you were there for her daughter."

Kim swallowed the tears down the back of her throat so she could speak.

"Erin, you don't know that."

That's when Kim saw Erin pull a book up off of her seat and place it on the table. It looked like a leather bound journal that you would buy at a high end book store. Erin pushed the book across the table and Kim picked it up. The brown leather cover was worn from so much use and the handling had caused it to feel soft and at home in Kim's hand. Erin cleared her throat before speaking.

"I found that at your sister's house. We were trying to go through anything to figure out what had caused all this. I guess she kind of used it as a life book. Its part journal and part haphazard planner. I got all of Zoey's doctor's appointments and their phone numbers for you from that book. It was in evidence, but I got Voight to release it by making copies of everything for the record. I've been the only one to read it. I thought you might want to have it for Zoey, but I think you might need it more than she does right now. It will answer some questions for you."

Kim looked at Erin and then back at the book in her hand. She rubbed the cover and felt her tears drip down her cheeks. It was her sister. The last part that she would ever get. Kim felt Erin move next to her in the bench and accepted the embrace from her friend. Kim wasn't sure when she would have the courage to read it, but she knew it would be something that she would treasure. Kim finally took a deep breath and signaled to Erin that she was ok. She placed the book into her bag and looked back up as Erin was sitting down. Erin drummed her fingers on the table and pulled her mouth to one side.

"So, not to pick at another wound or anything, but… what happened with Roman?"

Kim let out an exasperated breath and put her head in her hands. She could hear Erin chuckling.

"Sorry. I had to ask since the last time we had coffee you were all excited that the two of you had planned your first date and now you've basically told him that it wouldn't work and you need space. From what I hear…you know. From a little birdie. Ok, he's not little. It's Atwater."

Kim knew that Atwater had probably spilled the beans. It's not like she had this conversation with Adam. That would have been weird.

"Remind me to never tell him anything again. Um… I just realized that I wasn't in love with him and that with everything that had happened I was not ready for that anyway."

Erin nodded, "And what brought that on?"

Kim covered her eyes with her hands and debated on actually acknowledging that kiss.

"I kissed Adam."

Erin just smiled.

"And once again you do not seem shocked."

"Come on, Kim. Even you had to see that one coming. You two have been dealing with Zoey and everything else. With all those emotions pinging all over the place it was bound to happen."

Kim could only shake her head.

"Well, I honestly did not see it coming. But it just threw me and I realized that if I could let that happen... I have no business trying to be with anyone right now. I need to focus on Zoey."

"Have you told Adam that?"

Kim groaned.

"We've both basically been acting like nothing happened."

"Do you think that is wise?"

"No. But what am I going to do now? 'Hey Adam. Remember that kiss. Don't get your hopes up. I'm not relationship material right now and besides I have to focus on Zoey and me switching boyfriends all the time is a bad example."

Erin looked to be contemplating something.

"What's honestly holding you back?"

Kim leaned her head in her hand.

"I can't risk it going bad again. He's Zoey's other legal guardian. I wouldn't just be risking my own heart or even Adam's this time. I'd be risking hers if we ended up in the same place with him not being able to commit."

Erin leaned forward which brought Kim out of her self-contemplation.

"No offense, but don't you think if he was going to run he would have done it already. I mean most guys would have run for the hills and he didn't just stay. He has actively been involved and that without all the really good benefits of a relationship."

Kim actually had to laugh at that. Sex had been the last thing on her mind lately. Wow. That was a hard pill to swallow for her. She really had been a completely different person lately.

"I'll think about that, but I really do have to put Zoey first. And I think I need time to heal."

"I think that sounds really smart."

That morning with Erin was a step in the right direction, but Kim knew that she still had a long road ahead of her.

* * *

Adam had heard that Erin was going to return Erika's journal to Kim that morning and he hoped that it would give her comfort and not open up new wounds. He was watching Zoey in her dance class and could tell that the kid was phoning it in. He had caught the last five minutes of her practices pretty regularly and knew what she was capable of when she put her mind to it. She was definitely off. He waited as she changed her shoes at the end and grabbed her bags. They started to walk for Adam's truck and he figured that he needed to broach the subject.

"So, what's up? Why the lack of effort today?"

Zoey's facial expression nearly made Adam laugh.

"How do you know that I wasn't trying?"

Her shock did make him laugh.

"Just because I don't know what you are doing doesn't mean I haven't picked up on a few things. You looked sloppy."

Zoey was shaking her head like she could not believe what she was hearing.

"Am I wrong?"

They got to the truck and Zoey tossed her bags in the back before climbing in. Adam walked around to the driver's side and gave her the moment to see if she was going to open up.

"You're not wrong."

Adam started the truck and waited for her to continue as he pulled out into traffic.

"I don't know. I just wish Mom could see me. I think the teacher is going to tell me that I can finally start pointe class soon and I know Mom would have been really excited for me. I mean the only reason I haven't started already was because the teacher was afraid that I was too small."

Adam could sympathize with wishing a parent was there to see them. His Dad was always around for baseball but Adam's mom had never really seen the point. He still wished she had supported him in it.

"Is this also why you haven't wanted to plan anything for your birthday? It's in two weeks, Zoey."

Adam could see Zoey scrunching up her face as she continued to have trouble getting out what was bothering her. Adam saw a small tear leak out of her eye and he began to look for a place to pull off, but she wiped it away and finally started to talk again.

"Birthdays are supposed to be happy. I'm not happy. I feel bad celebrating it. My Mom and Dad had all these traditions on my birthday. Like chocolate chip pancakes and bacon for breakfast. And picking out a new charm for my bracelet that my Mom got me and going for ice cream to talk about school and my friends. And going to the ballet with my Dad to see Swan Lake or whatever the company was putting on at the time. Those aren't going to happen again."

Adam pulled into a parking lot and placed the truck in park. He turned in his seat so Zoey knew she had his full attention.

"You know that some of those traditions can still happen. I believe your Aunt knows how to make chocolate chip pancakes and bacon, but I also know that maybe you don't want to do those things. Are you afraid you are betraying them if you continue them?"

Watching Zoey sniffle back tears was one of the hardest things that Adam ever had to do, but he knew she needed to do it. He waited as she thought about his question.

"Yes. No. I think I just really miss them and I want them here."

Adam flipped up his center console and pulled Zoey into a hug. Adam watched the traffic go by on the road as he held this little girl who had been so brave for so long and she needed this small space in time to fall apart so she could build herself back up again.

"Z, you let us know what you want to do. But I know that your parents would want you to do the things that make you happy. They would want you to celebrate your birthday. Think about that, ok?"

Zoey nodded her head and then scooted back to her seat. Adam waited for her to fasten her seat belt again and he knew she was contemplating what they had talked about the whole way home.

* * *

Kim made her way into her apartment and dropped her work bag on the floor. She would deal with it once she had eaten something. Her shift had been a day of non-stop action. She swore that all of Chicago's criminals were trying to cause trouble before the weather got too cold again. As she walked into the living room on her way to the kitchen, she saw that Adam was still awake watching the TV. Normally, he would have been sacked out by now. Kim checked her watch and confirmed that it was 2am. Not that the infomercial on the TV wouldn't have clued her into the hour and the fact that Adam was technically staring off into space and not really watching it.

"Hey."

Watching Adam slowly tilt his head in her direction and the tight lipped smile, immediately put Kim on high alert. His soft "Hey." back did not help matters. Kim moved to sit on the couch as she could see Adam preparing himself to talk.

"So Zoey and I had a talk today."

"Oh?"

"She's feeling guilty about a lot of things."

Kim took the small couch cushion and hugged it to her chest.

"I know how she feels."

"I think she needs to hear that from you. I think you need to break that wall down, Kim. And don't look at me like I don't know what I'm talking about. You've taken amazing care of her, but you are holding back. I can tell."

Kim wasn't sure that she could handle this conversation. Mostly because he was right. She had been holding back. Not intentionally, but she was still holding a piece of herself away from Zoey. A piece that she needed to give to her.

"If I do that… It becomes real. It will become all too real."

"Kim, you already know that it is. She needs you and I think you need her."

Adam reached out and placed his hand on Kim's arms that were crossed as she held that pillow. He held it there for just a moment, but then got up and went to leave. Kim knew she needed to say one last thing.

"Adam."

He turned to look at her after picking up his jacket from the back of the chair.

"Thank you. Thank you for being there for her. For me. You don't have to be doing all this. I know that."

She watched as several emotions went across Adam's eyes. She couldn't read them all, but there were a few that she caught. Sadness. Pain. Love. That last one she couldn't handle. Not yet.

"I've told you, Kim. Anything. Anything you need. It's not a burden."

Kim let him leave at that point and she just stared at the TV that was still on. Suddenly, she wasn't all that hungry.

* * *

The next morning, Kim stood at the kitchen counter stirring chocolate chips into the pancake batter that she had made. She heard the small footsteps of Zoey making her way to the kitchen table. These lazy Saturday mornings where the two of them were not running off to something were rare. Kim began to wonder if she needed to change that. She looked over at Zoey who was obviously still waking up. Her hair was sticking up in some interesting directions this morning. Zoey rubbed her eyes and Kim could see when she finally woke up. Zoey just froze and stared at the bowl that Kim was holding. Kim looked down and then back at Zoey.

"Don't tell me you don't like chocolate chips in your pancakes?"

Zoey just shook her head. "Did Adam tell you?"

Kim was confused. "Did he tell me that you don't like them?"

"No. I do like them. I…" Kim could see now as Zoey's voice failed her that this had to do with her sister. Kim took the deep breath she needed and then decided to dive head first into what they both didn't want to do.

"You know. Your Mom and I use to make these with our housekeeper when we were growing up. They were our own special treat when our parents were away on trips. We never would have been allowed to have them if they were home. Chocolate chip pancakes and bacon. Oh God, your mother loved bacon."

Kim watched as Zoey's tears filled her eyes, but there was something else. The smile on Zoey's face told Kim that she needed this. She needed to hear this.

"We'd sit at the kitchen counter still in our pajamas and Ella would let us dump as many chocolate chips as we wanted in the bowl."

"Mom would make them for me for my birthday."

"Yeah? She never told me that."

Zoey was nodding her head. "Did you have a charm bracelet growing up to?"

Kim was shocked. She had never told anyone about that. Ella had given them to Erika and Kim as they were growing up. From the time Kim was five and Erika had been eight when Ella had first come to work for their parents. They weren't much. Just small little things, but by the time Kim was eighteen and getting ready to leave for Chicago the bracelet was full. Kim swallowed down the memory. Ella had truly been the mothering figure that Kim's actual Mom had not been.

"Yes. Your Mom had one, too. I'm betting that was also something that you did on your birthday?"

Zoey just nodded her head. Kim took a deep breath and finished stirring the chips into the batter.

"Well, I will have to keep that tradition going then. Ella would be very upset with me if I didn't. Did your Mom tell you about Ella?"

Zoey scrunched up her nose.

"A little. Said that she was the one that gave her the idea. She got all teary eyed and wouldn't say anymore."

Kim knew why. Ella had died of cancer not long after Kim had left home. She had been stuck in Atlanta on a layover when her sister had called to tell her the news.

"Well. Where can I start? Come over here and help me with these and I'll tell you about her."

Zoey hopped up from her seat and walked up to Kim. Zoey wrapped her arms around Kim's waist and Kim kissed the top of her head. They spent the morning making breakfast and telling stories. Some were happy. Others sad. By the end of the morning, Kim felt raw, but a part deep inside of her heart finally felt like it had reached solid ground. A place to build from and move forward.

The morning of Zoey's birthday went just as that morning had, but with far fewer tears. It was a good day and they had both been smiling and laughing till they went to stop for ice cream after the visit to the jewelry store. Kim noticed that Zoey had gotten quiet. She was picking at her ice cream more than she was eating it.

"Hey. Everything ok over there?"

Zoey stabbed at her scoop of strawberry ice cream and then set down her spoon.

"I was just thinking about Dad. He always had to work in the morning due to court, so that was why mornings were more Mom's thing for my birthday. He'd meet us for ice cream though. We'd usually be able to schedule things so he would be free."

"I remember he loved vanilla ice cream. Your mother would tell him he was so boring."

Zoey smiled and then nodded. "I noticed that Joffery is performing Cinderella. That probably would have been the show he would have chosen for tonight. Would have called me his princess and made corny jokes about how our chariot was waiting for us when it was time to leave."

Kim laughed. "Yeah, that sounds like Aaron. Are you wishing that you were going tonight?"

The soft "yeah." fell from Zoey's lips and Kim tried to hide her smile. Kim just told her that they would try and go next year. She couldn't ruin the surprise.

* * *

Later that evening, Kim heard the knock at her door and she knew who would be on the other side. She left Zoey sitting on the couch and went to answer the door. Seeing Adam standing on the other side in a suit was a sight to behold. He looked amazing. Kim stepped back to let him in and caught a small whiff of his cologne. He smelled good to. God, she needed to hold herself in check. Nothing was sexier than a man doing something he would never normally do for a child. "Is she ready or were you able to keep it a surprise?" Kim forced herself to focus. "She has no idea." Kim followed Adam as he headed for the living room. Zoey turned to face them as she heard their footsteps and her eyes widened as she took in Adam.

"Why are you in a suit?"

Adam smirked. "You have to dress up when going to the ballet. I believe that you are very under dressed."

Zoey looked to Kim and she smiled to her niece and nodded her head. "I laid out a dress on your bed. Go get changed."

Zoey jumped off the couch and went to head to her room, but Adam stopped her by holding out a small bag in front of her. "Happy Birthday, Zoey. Don't open it tonight. We can do that later. Get going."

Zoey took the bag and then ran for her bedroom. Kim looked back at Adam and couldn't help the smile that was threatening to break her cheeks.

"Thank you for this. She finally admitted today that she wanted to go. I'm glad you insisted."

Adam just shrugged with his hands still in his pockets. "Wasn't that hard to figure out. I pray I don't regret this."

Kim laughed. "You won't. Just like you really don't hate watching movies with her."

Adam groaned and that just made Kim laugh more. Zoey appeared in the room and Adam snapped himself out of it. "Ready?" Zoey spun for the door and Adam waved to Kim as he quickly went to follow the birthday girl. Kim locked up after them and then turned to look at her apartment.

She had a plan for tonight. She knew that they would be gone for a couple hours and she felt like that was time she was going to need. Kim headed for the kitchen and poured herself a glass of wine. She went back to the living room and sat down in her arm chair. She turned off the television and set her glass of wine on the small table next to her. She pulled her sister's journal out of her bag that she had placed near by earlier in the day.

At first, she could only look at it. It was so much more than a book to her. She could almost feel her sister in the room with her. Untying the leather cords that held it closed took more courage than Kim thought it would. She held it closed with her hands for another moment and then she finally cracked it open. Erin had been right. It was a hodge podge of her sister's life. Each day was marked clearly at the top of the page, but what came after it was a testament to a day of life. Phone numbers, lists, and reminders peppered the pages. Check marks were placed next to much of the information which Kim could only guess was to note that the information had been transferred to a phone or to the family calendar. Those things were the noise that surrounded the real purpose for the book. Erika talked about a lot of things. Her love for Zoey and Aaron were clear from all of her entries. Even the ones that she talked about the rough patches that she and Aaron were going through. Like any married couple, they had their disagreements. Work commitments and Zoey's schedule was creating tension, but they were working it out. Kim was making quick work of reading through it and felt a sense of love and happiness till she got to one passage:

 _Kim called in tears tonight._

Kim paused in her reading and let the book lay in her lap. She knew that date. Kim took a long sip of her wine and let the liquid burn down her throat. She didn't want to continue, but she knew she needed to.

 _She broke off her engagement to Adam. I don't understand. So what if he isn't going to have dinner with Mom tonight. I wouldn't blame him if he has heard anything about her. I don't know why she can't see it. He loves her. I know I don't know him that well yet, but it is so obvious. I blame our parents. They have never set a good example of what love should look like. It's all superficial. They never showed us all the late night talks they would have. Tried to make us believe that it all came easy. Such bull shit._

The rant continued and Kim had to swallow a lot of pride as she read it. Her sister had been nothing but supportive over the phone. It amazed Kim that she had felt this strongly. Had she just bailed on Adam without really working on things? That's what her sister was insinuating. She had tried to talk with Adam. Or had she? Looking back, she realized that most of the time when they tried to talk about anything important they had either been at the precinct or in the middle of a case. Not exactly the appropriate time to be discussing relationship issues. The next several entries switched focus back to Zoey and Aaron till they got to about a month prior. Erika began to talk about the threats and how she and Aaron were looking at updating their will again. Erika had not just hired the PI to look at the threats. She had asked him to follow Adam and Kevin.

 _Talked with the PI today. Said that Atwater checks out with what Kim had told us. Lives with his Mom still and helps out with his younger brothers and sisters. Has a couple shady friends, but suspect that is more for the job than really being close with them. Aaron thinks he is the better option to help Kim with Zoey if anything happens. I don't agree. PI reports that Adam has stuck with pretty much the same schedule. Work, Molly's or stopping at the MMA gym after work. Sunday dinners at his aunt's house. PI says he spends much of the afternoon playing with his cousins and teaching the teenager how to skateboard. Hasn't started to date again. I honestly think that he is the better option. They aren't done. Kim will realize that. She's been different since they broke up. Like her light has dimmed some. She tries to fake it. She's also trying too hard with this Roman guy. Why try to convince yourself that something is there if it isn't? She's trying to make herself move on when she hasn't even grieved for her relationship with Adam. That will bite her later._

Kim felt a bubbling anger in her gut, but also a sense of sadness. She wished her sister had been blunt with her. Cause really. Look what happened. However, Kim tried to remember that journals were just that. A place to be honest without the repercussions. Kim forced herself to turn the page and continued to read.

 _Aaron is convinced that these notes are from one of his cases. I don't know. Maybe. The PI has come up with nothing from my angle and there hasn't been anyone following us or watching the house. I hope he is right and his firm will figure it out. The notes just don't sit well with me. In my gut, I know they mean us harm and are not just trying to scare us. Aaron finally agreed to keep Adam as the co-guardian with Kim. Said he ran into him at the courthouse the other day and they both got a sandwich at the cart outside. He said that Adam seemed to feel awkward with them conversing, but that he finally saw what I did. He's not over Kim. Aaron said that if I felt that he would put Zoey first and be able to commit to them both that he would trust me. That had been Aaron's hang up. Adam's commitment issue. I had to remind him that I had the same problem. Didn't mean I cared about him any less. That's what changed his mind. It's so easy to forget the past troubles when you've gotten past them._

Kim froze. It had been so long ago. Kim put her face in her hand and groaned. Now she got it. Her sister's eye rolls and annoyed tone when Kim would complain to her about Adam not wanting to set a date. She hadn't said a word, but she had been showing a lot if Kim had paid attention. The rest of the journal leading up to that night was about Zoey. Erika began to write about what she wanted for her daughter. It was almost as if Erika had known that something was coming. A mother's intuition. Kim now knew how Erin knew that Erika would want Kim to take over for her.

 _Derek sent over the wills today. It gives me peace of mind to know that Zoey will be taken care of if something happens. Kim will be amazing with her. I know that. She has the biggest heart of anyone I know. Zoey could not ask for anything more. I hope they never have to find out. I hope._

Kim closed the journal and then finished off the glass of wine. She just sat there holding the glass and the book and trying to process all that she had read. She wasn't sure how much time went by as she sat there, but then she heard a key in the door and Zoey came bounding in the door. The smile on her face warmed her heart and she happily accepted the hug that she gave her.

"How was it?"

Zoey paused as she assessed Kim. "It was great. What's wrong?"

Kim hugged Zoey to her again and told her the truth. "Nothing is wrong. Just been an emotional day."

Kim could see Adam assessing her over Zoey's shoulder. The concern in his eyes was appreciated and she mouthed to him that she was fine. Adam's eyes looked over to the table beside her and she knew he recognized the journal. His head nod told her that he understood. Kim pulled out of the hug and smiled to her niece.

"Did he fall asleep?"

Zoey smirked, "Not for long. I was actually impressed."

Adam shook his head. "All right. I can see where this conversation is headed and I'm not going to stay for it. Good night you two."

They watched him go and for the first time Kim could admit that she really didn't want him to leave.

* * *

Kim woke up the next day and found Zoey sitting on the couch with the bag that Adam had given her sitting on her lap. She hadn't opened it, but she was staring at it like the bag itself might tell her what was inside. Kim chuckled and Zoey's head whipped around before she sheepishly looked away.

"I didn't open it."

"I can see that."

"Is he coming by today? I know it is Sunday and he usually goes to his Aunt's."

Kim shrugged.

"I don't know. We didn't talk about it. I know that Atwater is coming over to stay with you when I go into work."

Zoey focused back on the bag. It was killing her. Kim went over to the kitchen counter and picked up her phone. She sent Adam a quick text to see if she could put the poor girl out of her misery. Adam sent back a quick yes and Kim walked back into the living room.

"He says you can open it. He won't be by today, but you can thank him later."

Zoey didn't hesitate and immediately began pulling tissue paper out of the bag. Zoey finally got to the goods and pulled out two things. The first was a card and the second was a leather journal similar to Erika's. Kim had to place her hand over her mouth to try and keep her emotions in check. That was why he didn't stick around last night. He didn't want Zoey to open this so soon after Kim had finished reading. Zoey was turning the journal over in her hand like she was trying to solve a puzzle. The leather was a soft pink color and perfectly suited for a twelve-year-old ballerina. Would match her new pointe shoes that Kim was still waiting to give her prior to her new class on Tuesday. Zoey finally picked up the card and began reading. A small smile graced her lips and she stood up with unshed tears in her eyes to hand the card to Kim.

 _Z,_

 _Happy Birthday. Your Mom use to keep a journal just like this one. Thought that when you miss her that you might want to write to her. -Adam_

Kim swallowed hard. Oh man. That man was trying to kill her. She wasn't sure her heart could take much more.

* * *

Adam wasn't so sure about this. It was a few days after the ballet when Kim called him. Zoey of course had been very thankful for her gift when she saw him on Monday after school, but Kim had been quiet that night when she got home. She thanked him, but he felt like there was a wall there. She was holding something back or she was waiting for something. The phone call cleared some of that up for him. She told him that she was going to be making her first trip back to the house on Saturday and that Zoey was insisting on going with her. There was no way he was letting them go alone.

Kim had been given permission to access the house quite some time ago, but she hadn't been ready. That's what she kept saying. I'm not ready. She had contracted with lawn people and cleaning people to keep the house up, but she had not set foot in it since that day. Atwater had also volunteered to check in on it regularly and he had given Adam his key at work on Friday, so they would have it to get in.

Driving there now, Adam wondered if they were truly ready. They were all quiet in his truck on the drive up and he had even turned the radio off since it just seemed loud and out of place. He figured they were all facing some kind of demon on that ride. Steeling themselves for what would greet them. As he pulled into the driveway, Adam could remember every aspect of that night. It was morning now, but that didn't seem to lift the shadows for him. He turned off the truck and then followed the girls to the front door. He knew that Zoey's room would be empty. The unit had done Kim a favor and had emptied her room and moved most of it to Kim's apartment about a month after.

Adam waited as Kim seemed to pause before placing the key in the lock. The key turning the tumblers seemed so much louder than it actually was. She pushed the front door open and he watched as she took the first tentative step into the house. Adam had unconsciously placed his hand on Zoey's shoulder and only noticed it when she stepped forward to follow Kim across the threshold and his hand fell to his side. Adam forced himself inside the house and began to follow the girls. He made his way down that same entry way and saw all the pictures this time. Every single one of them. Zoey's dance recitals. Aaron and Erika's wedding picture. The family photos. He took them each in. He noted that Zoey was walking around like the whole thing didn't faze her. She headed for the stairs and began up them. Adam took some steps forward to check on Kim and found her in the kitchen. She seemed to be handling things fine, but Adam noted where she was standing and he knew he was not.

"Look, I'll give you both a few minutes. If you need me, I'll be outside."

Adam didn't even wait for a response from Kim. He headed for the front door and walked right out. He walked to his truck and put down the tail gate. He hopped up on it and tried to mentally scrub the images that were now playing across his mind. Up till then he had done a pretty good job of compartmentalizing that night. Of seeing Kim's sister like that. He hadn't known her well, but in the end that didn't matter. He knew it hadn't been long when he finally noted that Kim was standing in front of him. She had placed each of her hands on his thighs and was just waiting for him to acknowledge her presence. He finally looked up.

"Where's Zoey?"

"She went around back to check on the tree house."

Adam nodded and tried to keep his focus on Kim, but he was trying to hide how much being back in that house was actually affecting him. He should have known better. Kim saw right through him.

"It occurs to me that I've been worried about the wrong things today. I was worried about how Zoey would deal with the memories of that night when we came back, but she has so many good ones I think they outweigh it. I worried about myself, but I only really have good ones inside. I should have been worried about you."

Adam felt Kim place her hand on his cheek to try and get him to look at her. When he finally did, he knew he looked haunted. He knew he looked weak. Kim shook her head.

"You're not weak. Not even a little bit."

Adam scooted forward on the tailgate and pulled Kim to his chest. He needed to feel her there. To know that she was physically whole in front of him. He buried his nose into her neck and just breathed the scent of her perfume into him. He could feel Kim's arms holding on to him with everything she had. He steeled himself and then pulled back and placed his forehead on hers. He kept his eyes closed and just stayed there for a moment. He felt Kim shiver slightly and he lifted his head and finally looked at her again. He rubbed her arms to help warm her up and then moved to get off the tail gate. Shutting it, he turned back to her.

"Did you get what you needed?"

He needed to redirect the conversation. Kim smiled slightly before speaking.

"Yeah. I needed to know how I felt about selling or keeping it. I didn't want to place that decision on Zoey or solely on Zoey. It's a house. I think it's time to let it go."

Adam looked away from Kim and noted that Zoey was tentatively making her way up to them. He knew she had heard the conversation. He could tell by how she was trying to act like she was not paying attention.

"Are you okay with that?"

Zoey looked up at his question and she just nodded in the affirmative. They all silently seemed to be telling each other the same thing. It wasn't a home anymore. It wasn't their home. Or Kim and Zoey's anyway. That thought made Adam shake his head. He kept doing that. Trying to claim membership in their family. Sure his guardianship muddied those waters, but he had to keep reminding himself that Kim was not his. The girls began to get in the truck and Adam had to reign in his possessive tendencies as he went to get in to drive them back to their home.

* * *

Post AN: I think you will all really like the next chapter. I think. LOL!


	6. Acceptance

**AN:** Thank you again for all the reviews and follows. This story has been an amazing stress reliever for me. I am currently coming to the end of a dream of my own. In not too long I will be leaving Europe to move back home to the States. These last two years have been some of the most amazing of my life as well as some of the most difficult. I plan to add more chapters to this story, so don't assume it is over just because we have reached the stage of acceptance. I have become quite attached to this story line and I have some ideas to help move forward. In the meantime, I hope you enjoy this chapter!

* * *

 **Acceptance**

Kim didn't think of acceptance as an actual phase. She felt it was more like the good days finally were outnumbering the bad days. She still had moments of sadness and anger over what had happened, but she found that those periods were far fewer than they had been. Maybe acceptance was more feeling that life had calmed in a way that it had not been before. That she no longer felt that her nerves were on edge so much.

She could tell when Zoey began to reach that point as well. Instead of wanting to always go to her friend's houses, she began to want to have them over. That was what Kim was currently enjoying at the moment. She was in the kitchen trying to get started on dinner when the music started. Kim made her way down the hallway to Zoey's bedroom. She found the two girls having an impromptu dance party as they listened to Flo Rider's "My House" and Kim just chuckled. She knocked on the door frame and Zoey leaned over to turn the music down slightly.

"Keep it down, ok? I don't want to get a knock on the door from Mrs. Underwood. Dinner in about forty-five."

Zoey nodded and only turned the music up about half way. Kim could still hear it from the kitchen, but she figured that she probably did the same thing at her age. Kim was having a nice time listening to the music and was dancing around the kitchen till she really started to listen to one of the songs that came on. Missy Elliott's "Work It" was playing and Kim had been lip synching to the words when it suddenly hit her. Oh my God! Kim's face turned five shades of red and she found herself stopping dead in her tracks. How was she supposed to handle this? By this time, the song was over and the girls had moved on to Taylor Swift, but she was left standing there with a conundrum. She tried to concentrate on making dinner and then heard a knock at the door. Kim checked the oven before making her way to the door. She checked the peephole and found Adam standing on the other side. She opened the door and he held up Zoey's gym bag for ballet. "She left this in the truck again. I think she just likes for me to bring it over all the time."

"Maybe you should just learn to come over for dinner on Wednesdays."

"Might be a plan. What's with the music?"

Kim held out her arm to invite Adam in. "Please, come in to Club Burgess."

Adam chuckled and did as he was told. Kim headed to the kitchen as Adam went to give Zoey her bag. Kim was just pulling out the lasagna she had made when Adam made his way into the room.

"Looks like they are having fun in there."

"Oh yeah. So much fun. It's all fun and games till the sexually explicit lyrics start flying out of the speakers."

Adam's face scrunched up.

"How is Taylor Swift sexually explicit?"

"Oh, that wasn't what came on about two minutes before you got here. No, you got to miss Missy Elliott's Work It."

Adam started laughing so hard that Kim thought he was going to fall over. She glared at him.

"What? She probably doesn't even realize what the song is about. Plus, I bet you were listening to Limp Bizkit and Eminem at her age."

"Adam. She is twelve not five. They've probably already had several years of sex ed. in school. I'm not even sure if my sister had that talk with her… Oh God."

That stopped Adam's laughter. They both looked at each other and had the same look on their face. The 'I'm not it' look. Adam just dipped his head slightly and quietly whispered, "Girl." Kim had no retort to that. Damn it. This was on her. "Fine, but if she ever has boy issues in the future, you're on the hook buddy."

Adam pointed at Kim and looked very upset. "Do not even bring that up. She's not even my daughter and I do not want to think about her dating. I may have to ask Voight to let me bring the assault rifles here to clean when that starts."

"That's a very Dad thing to say. How about we table all this scary parenting stuff and you tell the girls that dinner is ready. You're staying, right?"

Adam smiled, "If you insist."

"Oh, I insist."

* * *

Dinner was over and Kim was sitting with Adam on the couch as Zoey was laid out on the floor watching TV. Kim checked the time and was about to say something when Zoey got up.

"I know. Already past when I should be in bed. I'm going."

Kim tried to hide the smile on her face, but was failing miserably. "Good night, Zoey."

Zoey came up and gave Kim a big hug and then did the same with Adam. "See you in the morning, Adam. You're taking me to school, right?"

"Right."

Kim watched as Zoey left the room and took a sip of her wine. Placing it back on the coffee table, she leaned back and rested her head on the back of the couch.

"You that tired, too? I can leave."

Kim rotated her head while still leaving it supported on the couch.

"No, just feeling relaxed. It's been awhile since I've felt this way."

Adam leaned against the back of the couch facing her.

"What way?"

"I don't know. Content. Loved."

Adam smiled tightly.

"She loves you to death. Despite the eye rolls."

Kim took a deep breath and wondered if she was ready. Was she brave enough to admit the truth? To take this step?

"It's not just her."

Kim watched as Adam swallowed hard. At first she didn't think he was going to say a thing or he was going to make an excuse and say he had to leave, but then she felt his fingertips lightly skim her face as he pushed her hair out of her eyes. Kim watched his eyes as he looked back at her with the very love that she had been too scared to admit to seeing a month ago. She watched as those eyes dipped towards her lips and then back up to hold her gaze. She prayed that he saw her permission there and she swore that if he didn't then she was going to have to make a move because she was done running. Adam leaned forward and Kim exhaled a sigh of relief and happiness the second she felt the light touch of his lips on hers. Kim reached up to grip his shoulder and will him to stay there and not pull away. Adam must have understood what she wanted because he quickly angled his mouth on hers and began to seek entrance. Kim couldn't deny him a thing and as the kiss deepened she could feel herself strengthen her hold on his shoulder as she tried to pull him closer. Adam finally broke off the kiss and rested his forehead on hers. Kim went to reach up to pull his lips back, but he stilled her.

"Not tonight."

Kim could feel nothing but confusion wash across her. What? Adam quickly pecked her lips while cupping her cheeks.

"Kim, if I don't stop now. I won't be able to and I'll be taking you back there and I don't think you want to be explaining to Zoey in the morning why I'm in the same clothes. I want you. Don't get me wrong. But I also want all of you. I love you and I can't do this if you are just wanting it to be…"

Kim kissed him soundly to get him to stop talking. She pulled back and shook his shoulder slightly.

"Don't you get it? I love you, too. I don't want this to be just something. I want everything with you."

The smile that spread across Adam's face warmed Kim's heart and she couldn't help but return it. Adam shook his head and then got up. "I've got to go or I'm not going to leave."

Kim followed him to the front door and was relieved when he turned around and pulled her back into his arms. This time the kiss was slow and decadent. They pulled apart and just stood there with their foreheads together.

"When?"

Kim heard the slow tortured intake of breath that her question caused Adam.

"Soon." He kissed her one last time and then released her. He opened the door and then looked back. "But not soon enough." He shut the door behind him and Kim leaned against it to try and catch her breath. Wow.

* * *

He had said soon, but Kim was beginning to wonder if their schedules were ever going to allow for even a date. She was beginning to understand what her sister had been talking about in her journal about two working people and a preteen not having much free time. That didn't mean that they hadn't taken every opportunity when Zoey was out of the room to sneak a kiss or two. It reminded Kim of the beginning of their relationship when they had tried to hide their feelings from the whole precinct.

So, Kim was surprised when she got home from work at around dinner time on a Friday night and found Kevin sitting with Zoey. They were happily munching on what Kim thought was Indian food as they were watching some action movie that Kim had never seen. The scene wasn't surprising, but it was more the person that was here.

"Um… Not that I'm not happy to see you Kev, but I thought Adam was going to be here tonight."

Kevin let a big smile spread across his face and he turned to Kim.

"Um… Something came up. Said he had a date or something. Which means you need to hurry up and get ready."

Kim's eyes felt like they were going to bug out of her head. "What?"

Zoey had what Kim could only describe as a Cheshire cat grin going as she spoke.

"You heard him. He'll be here in about forty-five minutes. Get moving!"

Kim's mouth fell open and then she nearly ran for her bedroom. She had no idea what to wear and opening her closet door to stare at what was inside was so not helping. She heard a giggle and turned to find Zoey in the doorway.

"Wear the blue dress. It's nice without being too fancy."

"You think?"

Zoey smiled and nodded her head in a manner that told Kim that she was almost more excited than she was. She was nervous. Oh wow. She was really nervous. Why was she nervous? It wasn't like they hadn't dated before, but something about this time was different. Kim hurried herself with getting ready and was just finishing up her makeup when she heard the knock at the front door. That sent the butterflies in her stomach into a tizzy. Kim tried to take a deep breath as Zoey bounded into the bathroom.

"He's here."

"I know."

"Don't keep him waiting."

"I wasn't planning on it."

"What's wrong? You look nervous. You have no reason to be nervous. It's just Adam."

Zoey spun around and almost skipped out of her room. Just Adam. Yeah, right. Just six feet of drop dead handsome man that had completely stolen her heart again when she wasn't looking. Kim finished what she was doing and then grabbed her clutch off her dresser. She walked out into the den and smiled at Adam and Kevin as they were discussing whatever movie had been paused on the TV. Zoey had been trying to signal to Adam that Kim was ready, but Kim knew when Adam noticed. The look in his eyes was a mix of awe and possession. She knew that look. The whistle from Atwater is what broke them out of their gaze.

"Cleaned up good, Burgess. Now you two kids have fun. Make sure you have her back before her curfew, Ruzek, or you'll have to deal with us."

Zoey had crossed her arms and stood next to Atwater while silently nodding her head. She was trying to look menacing, but the smirk on her face was ruining the effect. Adam came up to Kim and gave her a chaste kiss on the cheek and whispered in her ear. "You look amazing." He placed his hand on her low back and began to escort her out of the apartment.

"Watch those hands, buddy!"

Kim nearly came unglued at her niece's comment. It was exactly what she needed to get rid of all those butterflies. They both stepped out into the hallway and the second Adam had the door shut behind them, Kim began to giggle uncontrollably. Adam kept trying to move her down the hallway, but he was having the same problem. Finally, he had enough and he pressed her up against the wall and began to kiss her senseless. Kim threaded her fingers through his hair and then paused him by placing her right index finger on his lips.

"I think this was what she was talking about."

"I don't care. We have a few hours before I promised Kevin we would be back. We have dinner reservations, but I plan on kissing you like that all evening. Now let's go before they find us out here and then we can't escape."

Adam took Kim's hand and then began to drag her down the hallway. She had never been so excited for dinner before in her life.

* * *

Dinner was perfect. From the way, Adam had held her close while they waited to be seated to the fact that she couldn't stop smiling because of the way he was looking at her. It was amazing. She had forgotten how this felt. Or how it felt to be with him. She must have been crazy. That was the thought that went through her head as they were walking back up to her apartment. She absolutely must have been crazy to give this up. Or was it the fear of losing him that had caused her to do that. She shook the thought away and made herself focus on the moment. That was one thing that she was working on. Staying in the moment.

As they got to the door, Adam pulled her back to him and lightly pinched her chin with his thumb and forefinger. "I think I better give you your good night kiss now, because I guarantee you that those two are still up and waiting for us." Kim smiled and let his lips lightly caress her own. He pulled back slightly and Kim whispered, "You're probably right." She moved closer and gripped the lapels of his jacket as she began to kiss him again. The sound of the door opening brought them both out of it. Zoey stood there with her arms crossed shaking her head. "You are not a very good listener. I said watch the hands." Kim felt Adam slowly move his hand further up her low back. "Kevin has to get home. Get in here you two." Kim was absolutely stunned at Zoey as she watched her turn and make her way back towards the den. Kim and Adam just stood there in shock. "I hope this doesn't mean she is going to start treating me differently."

Kim shrugged, "She did invite you in. That's a good sign to me."

They both got to the den and Zoey was already sitting back on the couch and Kevin was grabbing his backpack from the floor. When Atwater straightened up Kim could see that he was looking for something. "I'm guessing dinner was better than nice from that smile. Have a good night you two." Kevin left the apartment and Kim just shook her head. Adam looked over at Kim with the question written all over his face. "Inside joke. Don't worry about it."

Kim walked over to the couch and sat down. "So, you got to see us come home."

"Is that a nice way of telling me to make myself scarce? Its Friday night. I'm not tired."

Kim laughed. "No, I was not asking you to go to bed." Kim looked back at Adam and then focused back on Zoey. "I just wanted to make sure you were okay… with this." Kim pointed at herself and then Adam.

"And if I wasn't?"

Kim groaned. Not this again. Zoey started laughing.

"I'm fine. I like seeing you both like this."

"Like what?"

Zoey wrapped Kim in a hug and then got up off the couch. She gave Adam a hug and then turned back to Kim. "Happy. Good night. I'm going to write for a while and hang in my room."

Kim watched as Adam tracked Zoey's way down the hallway and into her room. He turned back to look at Kim and slowly began to walk towards the couch. The sound of Zoey's door clicking shut caused a glint to come to Adam's eye. Kim held up her hand and shook her head.

"She is still awake."

Adam sat down next to Kim and shrugged.

"I don't think she is going to come out for a while."

Kim shook her head and smiled. "I feel like I'm a teenager again trying not to get caught by my parents when I'm making out with my boyfriend."

Adam leaned back and faked surprise. "What? I'm your boyfriend."

Kim smacked Adam's chest. "Stop it. You know what I mean."

Adam grabbed Kim's arm and pulled her to his chest. "No, I like it. I like being yours."

Kim snuggled further into Adam's arms. "I like being yours, too."

Adam leaned back and tucked Kim into his side. They laid on the couch enjoying the pseudo alone time. They kept it PG and Kim was actually okay with that for now.

* * *

The next morning, Kim walked into the kitchen and found Zoey already dressed and eating her cereal. Something was up.

"Wow. You're up early."

Zoey looked up and smiled at Kim.

"It's a good morning. Wouldn't you agree?"

Kim looked at Zoey out of the corner of her eye as she started to make coffee.

"I guess. Why is it a good morning for you?"

"No reason. So, when did Adam leave last night?"

Kim paused in scooping coffee into the filter. Oh God. Was she really getting the third degree from her niece? Kim turned and leaned her hip against the kitchen counter to level Zoey with her glare.

"He left when he left. What are you getting at?"

"It was really late. I know that."

It suddenly dawned on Kim that she needed to redirect this conversation.

"Zoey, it occurs to me that maybe we need to have a talk. I know you are getting to an age…"

Zoey groaned and put her head in her hands. Kim just smiled.

"Aunt Kim, please tell me you aren't trying to use this as an opportunity to have the 'sex' talk with me. I had that talk with Mom at ten and then again the following year when I got my period. Please, no."

Kim just grinned and then began to fill the coffee pot with water. She filled up the reservoir with the water and just let Zoey ramble.

"Please, I understand the mechanics. I don't need a lesson. We've covered birth control and all that stuff in school. Mom said just don't do it till I really, really love someone. Like we've been together forever and I know that the guy really loves me and isn't just looking for that stuff. Says that boys are awful in high school and that will be all they think about. But, she said we would discuss it again when I was in high school. I'm not in high school, yet. Can we just table it till then?"

Kim flipped the switch on the coffee maker and directed her attention back to Zoey.

"I guess for now as long as you know that you can ask me anything."

Zoey nodded and then narrowed her eyes.

"Unless, I need to have that conversation with you about Adam."

The small smile that Kim had fell. "I don't think so."

Zoey's large grin was back. "He was here awfully late."

"I am not having this conversation with you."

"I'm just saying. Be safe."

Kim leaned forward and let her head rest on the kitchen counter as she waited for the coffee maker to finish making her life line. That kid was way too much to deal with without coffee.

* * *

It was Monday night and Kim was starting to realize something. It was November and Thanksgiving was a week and a half away. The thought actually made her stomach clench. It would normally have been Kim's plan to head to her sister's if she wasn't working. Platt had done her a solid and given her off on Thanksgiving and Christmas this year, but it meant she would be pulling the late shift over New Year's Eve. Kim made her way into the apartment and found Adam and Zoey in the kitchen. Zoey had her algebra homework spread out in front of them and Adam looked like he was trying to figure out what in the hell they were teaching her.

"I swear you need to be a rocket scientist to figure out how they want them to do that work."

Adam leaned back and laughed. "So it's not just me. I know how I did it in school and I can get the right answer, but that is obviously not what they want."

Kim looked over their shoulders at the homework sheet. "I think this calls for google."

Zoey got up out of her seat and went into the living room to get the laptop. Adam stood up and pulled Kim into his arms. The kiss was short, but sweet and he continued to hold her there as Zoey made her way back to the table.

"Ew. Stop that."

Adam smiled and looked down at her.

"No. By the way, what are you two doing for Thanksgiving?"

Kim shrugged. "I hadn't really planned anything yet. I guess I need to get on that. I had no idea it was this close."

Adam rubbed his lips with his hand which told Kim he was nervous about what he was going to say next.

"Well, my Aunt always does a huge Thanksgiving meal. I'm going over there. Has made the holidays a lot easier since I don't tick off either of my parents this way. She wants you both to come. So do I."

Kim was stunned. "Really?"

Adam was smiling but he gave her a small nod. Kim looked down at Zoey and she just shrugged her shoulders.

"Um.. ok. That would be one less thing to worry about. What can we bring?"

"Just yourselves, but if you feel the need wine is always a winner in that house. And don't dress up or anything. The kids are usually running around outside all day if the weather is good and there is no reason to."

Kim nodded and let Adam sit back down so he and Zoey could try and figure out her homework. Kim headed to the fridge to find something to eat and just stared at the contents. Suddenly all those butterflies were back in her stomach.

* * *

Kim and Zoey were following Adam up the walk to his aunt's house. Kim was trying to keep her nerves in check and was hoping for that few extra seconds when you wait for someone to answer the door, but apparently in the Ruzek family you just walk in. Adam waited for both Kim and Zoey to get in the door and then he took their coats. He spent a good amount of time trying to find open space since the coat closet and the hall tree were pretty full. Kim could hear the noise of people watching the parade on television, children playing games, chopping of vegetables or something, and pots being moved around. It was a zoo and Kim immediately began to wonder what she had gotten into. She was still taking it all in when a loud voice came into the room. "This must be Kim and Zoey. We have heard so much about you!"

Kim found herself being enveloped in a huge hug by a tall blonde haired woman with barely an ounce of fat on her. Despite her willowy figure, the woman could really squeeze tight. She held Kim at arm's length and gave her a once over. "I can see why this one is special. She brought wine. Smart girl. Come in. Make yourself at home. Zoey, all the kids are in the basement and the game room. There is pool, ping pong, you name it. Go have fun."

At that time, two girls about Zoey's age appeared behind Adam's Aunt. One had long blonde hair and looked exactly like the woman in front of them and the other was about Zoey's size with fire engine red hair. The blonde one spoke up, "We'll take her down, Mom. My name is Miranda and this is Bella. Come on. We have this really cool costume trunk. Adam says you do ballet, right?" Zoey was nodding her head and Kim watched as the girls left quickly without so much as a second glance at the adults.

"Oh where are my manners. My name is Jenny, by the way. I would hope that Adam told you that, but I've learned with these men. Introductions are not their thing. Let me take that wine off your hands. We have enough to last most people a week, but in this house it will all be gone by the end of the night. None for you, Adam. You're driving. Gotta keep these girls safe."

Jenny took Kim's arm and began to escort her. More like drag her towards the kitchen. Kim looked back towards Adam who was smiling and he just mouthed "Sorry." as he slipped out towards the den. Once in the kitchen, Jenny made a point of introducing Adam's other aunts and cousins that were all in the kitchen helping with preparing the meal. Jenny quickly poured Kim a glass of wine and then she turned around.

"Here you go, Kim."

Kim took the glass quickly, so she wouldn't drop it. Jenny's energy level seemed to stay on 10.

"Um… Is there anything that I can help you with?"

Jenny looked around at everything and shook her head.

"Looks like they have it. Your job is to tell us about yourself. Now, Adam tells us that you grew up in New York, right?"

Kim took a quick sip of her wine before answering.

"Yes. Till I was eighteen."

"Then you were a flight attendant? Where all did you get to travel to?"

The rest of the morning and into the afternoon went like this. Kim lost track of the number of questions she answered. Adam had told his family quite a bit about her and it amazed her at how warm his family was.

"Ok, now what would you say…"

"Aunt Jenny, let Kim take a breath would you. Can I steal her for a second? I'd like to introduce her to the rest of the family."

Aunt Jenny paused and looked to Adam with a cocked eyebrow.

"Yeah, you want to introduce her around. Liar. No making out in front of the children."

Adam was shaking his head 'no' as he was pulling Kim so that she was behind him.

"Aunt Jenny I would never dare to do something like that under your roof. Your house, your rules. I swear."

Adam began backing up which maneuvered Kim out of the kitchen and into a hallway that led to the main stair case. Once he was out of the kitchen, Adam grabbed Kim's hand and dragged her through the house to an office that was away from the kitchen and the den. Adam pulled Kim into his arms and began to kiss her. Kim could feel him walking her back towards the wall, but he apparently had not closed the door completely.

"Oh, Adam. I am so telling Mom."

Adam pulled back from kissing Kim and stared at the young man that was standing in the doorway.

"Walk away, Ethan. Or you can kiss that new skateboard for Christmas goodbye."

"Hmmmm…. It actually might be worth it to see Mom lose her cool with someone other than me. You know she has been dying to meet your girl for a long time. Won't be happy that this is why you took her away."

"How much?"

Ethan started to laugh. Kim had no idea how to handle all of this. She just leaned up against the wall and watched Adam negotiate with a teenager about being ratted out.

"Deal."

Ethan walked out of the room and Adam had just started to stalk towards Kim when Ethan's voice boomed through the house.

"Mom! Adam's making out with his girlfriend!"

Adam's head fell. "I'm going to maim that kid."

"Adam!"

Kim couldn't help it. She started laughing. In that moment, she realized who really brought Adam up. It was so obvious. Adam straightened up and leveled Kim with a glare.

"Oh, laugh it up. She'll separate us for dinner now."

"She was basically your Mom, wasn't she?"

Adam's face grew serious and he nodded his head.

"In every way that counted."

Kim walked up to Adam and wrapped her arms around his neck.

"Well, if we are going to get in trouble we might as well make it count."

"Now that's what I'm talking about."

Adam pulled Kim tightly to him and went to dip his head down towards her.

"Young man, get your butt into the dining room and start helping your cousins set the table. Dinner is almost ready. Move it."

Adam released Kim and put his hands up. He turned around and began to walk around his Aunt. Before he passed, he gave her a peck on the cheek and then headed for the dining room. Jenny was just shaking her head.

"I swear that boy. Come, Kim. We have wine to drink."

"Please lead the way."

Kim followed Jenny back to the kitchen with a smile on her face.

* * *

Adam continued to move his truck down the streets of Chicago as he vaguely noted the street lights going by. Their light gave him glimpses of the small smile that was now permanently on Kim's face. At a stop light, he took a glance into the back seat and saw that Zoey was nodding off against the window. Pulling up to the front of Kim's building, Adam did not want the night to end. He found a parking spot and turned the truck off. Kim unbuckled her seatbelt and turned to check on Zoey. She reached back and lightly nudged her awake.

"We're home."

Zoey's eyes fluttered open and she yawned. The girls both got out and Adam went to follow them up to the apartment. Had to make sure that they got inside without incident. Kim had been right. He could hear his Aunt Jenny's voice in his head right now telling him to be a gentleman. He'd listen. Up to a point.

Kim unlocked the door and Zoey sleepwalked herself into the apartment. Kim smiled and then took Adam's hand and pulled him in after her. Adam shut the door behind them and slowly followed them into the den. He watched as Zoey headed straight for bed. Kim turned around and wrapped her arms around his neck.

"Don't go."

She was trying to kill him. Adam placed his hands on her waist and rubbed them up and down slightly. The curve of her waist was absolutely killing him.

"What about Zoey?"

Kim lightly kissed Adam's lips and he could feel his resistance fading fast.

"I think she will be okay with it."

A part of Adam was saying to think about this. Kim was at least tipsy. Was she really saying what he thought she was saying?

"Are you sure? How much wine did you have tonight?"

Kim narrowed her eyes.

"I'm sloshed, Adam. That's the only reason I want you to stay. I'm pretty sober actually. I had two glasses. I switched to coffee after dinner. Stay the night. I'm not ready for you to leave."

That did it. He couldn't fight that. Adam lifted Kim up and carried her down the hallway to her room.

* * *

The following morning, Kim was leaning against the kitchen counter as she sipped her coffee and watched Zoey eat her cereal. Kim kept eyeing the hallway and waiting. She'd let Adam sleep in but knew he would probably be waking up any minute now. She was wondering if she had played this right. Maybe she should say something to Zoey. Or maybe she should have had Adam leave before Zoey got up. But she didn't want to do that. This was a natural progression of their relationship and she didn't want Zoey to get the impression that it was something to hide. Kim directed her attention back to Zoey who was still yawning as she ate. The soft padding of Adam's feet making their way toward the kitchen caused Zoey to straighten up slightly and then she looked towards the door to see him walk in. Kim watched Zoey's reaction as Adam walked by and lightly squeezed Zoey's shoulder. Zoey showed mild surprise, but did not seem to be upset or annoyed by his presence. Adam made his way up to Kim and lightly kissed the side of her neck as he was reaching for the coffee cup that she had left out on the counter for him. "Good morning.", came out on a whisper from Adam's lips and Kim could see that he was still waking up as well. He made his coffee and then headed back to the kitchen table and sat across from Zoey. He grabbed the cereal box and poured himself a bowl. Kim watched the two of them eat breakfast with a small smile on her face. "What do you want to do this afternoon when Kim goes into work? Please don't say shopping."

"Nah. Could we go to see that Lego exhibit? My friend said that the castle piece is really cool!"

"Sounds good."

Kim sipped her coffee and just listened to the two of them plan their day together.

* * *

He wasn't going to make it. That was the thought that kept going through Kim's head as she sat in the audience waiting for the start of the ballet. Zoey's ballet studio was putting on "The Nutcracker" and she had been so excited to get a part this year. It apparently was highly competitive and she had been talking about nothing else since she had been cast. It had meant extra practice, but Zoey had been more than happy to give up a couple Saturdays. Had caused Kim some minor panic and creative carpooling, but she was all for anything that got Zoey that excited.

Kim looked back towards the entrance and watched the people that were entering, praying that Adam would appear. She knew that Intelligence had caught a big case the day before and had been scrambling to catch a group of thieves that had been knocking off armored cars all over the city. Kim checked her phone again to see if there was a text message and to make sure she had enough battery power to at least video Zoey part.

The house lights began to dim, signaling the beginning of the production and Kim's heart sank. She made sure her phone was ready and sat back to try and enjoy the show. Not long after the lights had gone down, Kim heard some minor murmurs from the crowd and wondered what it was about. She didn't turn around because she didn't want to miss Zoey. She was so proud of Zoey as she performed her part. Her dance teacher had been so impressed with Zoey's progress over the last few months and remarked to Kim several times that she was seeing a maturity in her dancing that was advanced for her age. Kim had no idea what she was talking about, but she was glad that Zoey had found something that she loved to do.

As the curtain went down on the first act, Kim wiped a tear away and then went to get up to stretch some and saw what the commotion had been earlier. Along the back wall, standing shoulder to shoulder was the whole Intelligence unit and they were all still in their bullet proof vests. Adam was already making his way to her seat and he immediately pulled her into his arms when he got to her. "Please tell me you guys were all the commotion I heard and you got to see it."

"We got here just in time. Caught the whole thing. Technically we would still be on the clock, but Voight called in and had Platt clock us all out. He said there was no way in hell we were missing this."

Kim looked back towards the crew and made eye contact with Sgt. Voight. She mouthed a thank you and he just smiled. The house lights flashed to let the audience know that the intermission was almost over and everyone found their seats. Adam sat down next to Kim in the seat that she had saved for him and they watched the second half.

When the production was done and Zoey came out with the cast for their curtain call, Kim could see that she knew that she had one of the biggest group of supporters. The smile on her face said it all. When she made her way to them after she had changed out of her pointe shoes, Kim wasn't sure the girl ever touched the floor. The unit had one last surprise for Zoey on this night. Adam had thought ahead and each of them had a couple flowers for Zoey to congratulate her. Kim could not get over watching Zoey interact with the group. Kevin, of course, being so big next to Zoey was just the cutest thing ever. Antonio trying to get her to fist bump with an explosion while Erin kept telling her to not to do it was hilarious. Antonio won when Erin's back was turned. Jay knelt down on one knee to present her with her flowers and Zoey blushed a bright red. Voight kept asking her questions about the ballet and Olinsky just had a wistful twinkle in his eye as if he was thinking about his two girls. Kim felt Adam hug her from behind and she just enjoyed it. There was that pang in her gut that she wished her sister and Aaron could have been here for this moment, but there was such a feeling of love in the room. Of family. She couldn't be that sad. Zoey would never be able to say that she did not have people in her corner and Kim knew that was true for her as well.

* * *

Kim could hear a faint knocking on her bedroom door. She so did not want to get up. She nuzzled her face into Adam's neck and she felt his arms tighten around her.

"I don't think she is just going to go away."

Kim's eyes flew open and she suddenly realized what day it was. There was the knocking again.

"I think she wants to open presents."

Kim looked over towards the clock and noted that she had let them sleep in till 7am.

"Oh, ok. I'm up. I'm surprised your awake."

"Are you kidding? I love Christmas."

"What did you get her?"

"Don't worry about it."

"Oh God. That is so not a good sign. Please tell me you didn't get her a puppy."

Adam just laughed. Kim threw on a sweatshirt over her tank top and waited just long enough for Adam to throw a T-shirt on as he headed into the bathroom before opening the door. There stood Zoey with a huge grin on her face.

"Merry Christmas! Did I wake you?"

Kim shook her head.

"You know you did. Give us five minutes. No peeking."

"Would be a little late for that if I was actually going to look."

Kim just shook her head. Smart aleck. Kim turned away and went in search of her toothbrush.

Sitting on the couch with her coffee, Kim had to laugh as she watched Zoey demolish her presents. She got the typical staples of gift cards, clothes, and a new pair of boots for the winter. Adam had gone all out and gotten her a new iPad mini which had caused the biggest shriek of joy. Kim just shook her head and looked over at him. Adam shrugged.

"It's what she wanted."

"She so has you wrapped around her little finger. Zoey, I have one more thing for you. Give me a second."

Kim got up and headed to her room. She had wanted to give this to Zoey, but didn't feel that wrapping it in a present was appropriate. She had found it in Erika's things and knew that she would want Zoey to have it. Kim held the small bracelet in her hand and made her way back to the den. Zoey was showing Adam something on her iPad and Kim was conflicted about interrupting them. She was even second guessing whether or not today was the day to give it to her. Zoey looked up and immediately made her way to Kim. Kim could see the concern and questioning look on Zoey's face and she took the breath she needed. Kim took Zoey's hand and gently placed the bracelet into it. Zoey looked down at the silver charm bracelet and Kim could see the sad smile that graced her face.

"You found it."

"I did."

Zoey's hand closed around the small piece and she brought it to her chest. She stepped forward and wrapped her free arm around Kim's waist. "Thank you."

Kim kissed the top of her head and hugged her back. Kim pulled away and made herself smile.

"Ok, you need to start getting ready. We need to leave for Jenny's in forty-five minutes."

Zoey smiled back and headed out of the den. Adam stood up and made his way to Kim.

"You ok?"

Kim could feel a few tears begin to moisten her eyelashes, but she refused to cry.

"I thought today would be easier. I really don't know who I thought I was kidding."

Adam pulled her to him and Kim just let him support her. She needed this moment to recognize the hole that would never be filled in her life. It would get easier to deal with, but it would always be there. Kim took one more moment and then pulled back so she could get ready.

* * *

 **Post AN:** I am not sure when I will be able to post the next chapter since the movers are coming and life will be crazy. However, I have plenty of ideas once I have a minute to actually sit down and write. Hopefully before the end of the season since CPD is really trying to mess with my writing mojo! I've been trying to show with this story that actions speak louder than words. Something that I think Kim and Adam's characters on the show need to learn.


	7. And Life Goes On

AN: Well, I am still in the process of moving, but wanted to give you guys a little something since I'm not sure how much time over the next several weeks that I will have to actually write. Visiting and staying with family never gives a person much alone time, so writing will probably be out of the question. I'll cross my fingers for a few moments here and there. Also, this is not the end which I think I made glaringly obvious at the end. I've got plans. No worries. Enjoy!

* * *

 **And Life Goes On**

It had been a year. Or approximately a year. Kim had refused to remember the exact day. Her denial had helped with that. Keeping busy and refusing to look back in the calendar had helped. However, she was pretty sure that it wouldn't matter. That first relatively warm day with the sun shining had been reminder enough and she was pretty sure would always be one. Kim watched everyone walk past her with smiles on their faces as she was heading into work. She wished she could have joined everyone's good mood. Her shift went by without too much excitement and she found herself heading out to the parking lot on time for a change. What surprised her was seeing Adam and Zoey waiting for her next to her car.

"Hey. What's up?"

Zoey grinned, "Adam had a great idea. Let's go have takeout in the park. It's still sunny and warm. Please!"

Kim could never say no to that much enthusiasm. The park they elected to go to was different from the one that Kim had met her sister at last year, but so much of it was the same. She could still smell the freshly cut grass and hear the sounds of kids playing, but the taste of the onion rings that she was currently munching on was a stark difference. She tried to pull herself out of her memory by marking these differences. A group of what Kim guessed were college students had decided to bring their music practice outside and were entertaining the masses. Including Zoey. Zoey was seated cross legged on the edge of the blanket they had laid down and Kim could see that her neice was tapping her hand in time to the music as she was listening. Kim was leaning back against Adam's chest and watching Zoey's fascination.

"What's up, Kim?"

Adam's whispered question caused Kim to pull his arms around her waist.

"It's been about a year."

Kim felt Adam place a small kiss to her temple.

"I kind of thought that was what was on your mind."

"I'm glad that Zoey seems to be doing okay."

"She has so many people that are ready to be here for her if she isn't."

Kim turned to look Adam in the eye. "I know. Ugh, help snap me out of this."

Adam smiled. "My pleasure."

He cupped her cheek and lightly began to kiss her. It was exactly what Kim needed. She needed his love to help pull her out of the funk. Adam began to thread his fingers through her hair to deepen the kiss when Zoey's annoyed exclamation broke them out of it.

"Ugh, not again. Really you two?"

Kim buried her face in Adam's neck because she saw that several other people had been alerted to them by Zoey's complaint. However, Adam was not embarrassed in the least.

"Oh come on, Zoey. Would you really prefer it if we went back to just being friends? I highly doubt that."

Zoey scrunched up her face to one side like she was debating her answer.

"Hmm. I guess you have a point. Could you tone it down a bit?"

Adam was shaking his head no as Zoey dramatically fell backwards and covered her face with her hands. Kim was finally laughing. Leave it to her boyfriend and her drama queen niece to finally snap her out of it.

* * *

Adam opened his apartment door and made his way inside. Zoey followed slowly quite annoyed that they were having to delay getting dinner just so Adam could pick up some clothes and his baseball gear for the upcoming softball season. Adam made his way quickly to his bedroom and began to transfer stuff to his gym bag.

"Wouldn't it just be easier if you moved your dresser to our apartment? I mean you have a truck."

Adam looked up to see Zoey standing in the doorway with her arms crossed.

"I'm sure what's his name from across the hallway would help you."

"Umm…. I'm pretty sure the movement of furniture would be something that your Aunt and I would have to discuss."

"Why haven't you moved all your stuff in yet?"

Adam went to say something, but realized that he really didn't have an answer. Why had they not had this conversation already? He put the last article in the bag and zipped it shut.

"Ok, we just have to grab my other bag in the hall closet."

"You don't have an answer for me, do you?"

Adam straightened up and threw the bag over his shoulder.

"Zoey."

"Don't Zoey me. Come on Adam. You are never here. The place is starting to smell."

"Once again. Something that your Aunt and I should be discussing."

"When is that going to happen?"

Adam began to rub his forehead.

"Don't say it is none of my business. I live there. It is my business."

"What would be the answer that would get you to grab my bag from the hall closet?"

"How about in the next couple of days? I'll give you a little time."

"Why does this bother you so much?"

"I want you there. Your family."

"I'm there already."

"Are you?"

Adam finally understood.

"Are you afraid that because I still have my apartment that I am going to leave at some point?"

Zoey raised her eyebrow.

"I'm not going anywhere, Zoey."

Zoey turned and headed to get his other bag. Adam realized that he needed to have a conversation with Kim.

* * *

Kim dumped the now dry laundry on her bed. She had already done two loads and was amazed at the amount of clothes that she had already folded. Chores sucked. Kim knew she needed to put away at least her clothes if she was going to have room on the bed to finish folding all these. She was in the process of putting her clothes in her dresser when she looked back at the bed. Half the clothes sitting on the bed were actually Adam's and she was running out of space in the drawer that she had set aside for him. Looking at the rest of 'her' room caused certain things to jump out at her. Was it really just 'hers' anymore? Adam's boots were now lined up next to one wall and his jackets were hanging next to hers on the back of the door. His laptop was sitting on the bedside table charging and if she looked in the bathroom all of his personal products were sitting next to hers. Kim shut the drawer she had been working on and went back to the bed to start folding the remaining laundry. Of course, folding just gave her time to think. To think about the fact that it was stupid that they were keeping two households when they were only using one. How she wasn't sure why they hadn't thought about this before? She was deep in her thoughts when Adam walked in the door carrying two gym bags. She watched as he gave the bed a once over. Kim raised an eyebrow and decided she needed to say something. However, they both spoke at the same time.

"I think we need to talk."

They both smiled and Kim watched as Adam dropped his bags on the floor.

"I just got the third degree from Zoey as to why I haven't moved in yet."

"What did you tell her?"

"That it was a conversation that you and I needed to have before I moved my dresser into the house."

"Actually after doing all this laundry it would have been nice to have a place to put it."

Adam walked up and took the shirt out of Kim's hand and then pulled her into his arms.

"Are you saying you actually want me to move in?"

"You are here all the time. And I wouldn't mind having that be a permanent thing. Plus, you already have a key."

"I'm not sure, but was that a yes?"

Kim smiled and pulled him down for a kiss.

"That was a hell yes."

Adam bent down and lifted Kim up so she could wrap her legs around his waist.

"Dinner is ready and on the table. You know I am going to be scarred for life one of these days."

Kim turned in Adam's arms to look at her niece.

"You'll live. Besides, you are getting what you want, Nosey."

Zoey grinned.

"It's about time. When's moving day?"

Kim turned back to Adam.

"We can never satisfy her. Always a new question."

"She is your niece."

Kim's mouth dropped open and Adam quickly began to back track.

"I simply meant that she knows what she wants and isn't afraid to ask for it."

"Good save."

"Thank you. I've made mistakes, but I'm learning."

"Ok, well why don't we not make a mistake and let dinner get cold."

Adam immediately began to carry Kim towards the hallway and Zoey quickly turned around to stay out of their way.

* * *

It took them about three weeks to sort all the details out. Which couch to keep? Whose bed was more comfortable? What duplicate kitchen stuff did they have? Who had the better crockpot? Kim still couldn't believe that Adam had actually acquired a crockpot at some point and that it was better than hers. She suspected that Aunt Jenny had something to do with that. Kim made her way into the apartment as Kevin and Adam were just finishing placing his couch in the den. The dark brown leather did look better than the old one she had. As the guys stood up to relax, Zoey dove onto the new piece and tried her best to take up the whole thing. Kevin just swiped her feet out of the way and sat down.

"Ok, That's it right. I think I'm done."

"That's everything. Hey babe. Oh good, food and beer. As promised."

Kim held out the pizza to Adam and then grabbed a beer to hand to Kevin before taking the rest to the kitchen. She had just stood up from putting the remaining beer in the fridge when she felt Adam's arms wrap around her waist. The feel of his lips right next to the shell of her ear sent tingles through her body.

"It's all done. You're stuck with me now."

Kim smiled as she turned in Adam's arms. She slowly let her hands travel up his chest to loop around his neck.

"I'll do my best to tolerate you."

The twinkle in Adam's eye along with the smirk on his face told Kim exactly what he was going to do. So, when his hands came down to cup her ass and then he lifted her up so she was eye level with him it didn't surprise her. She leaned forward to kiss him and enjoyed knowing that he was home. Adam began to move them away from the fridge and initially Kim had no idea why, but then she felt Kevin move past them to grab another beer from the fridge.

"You two are ridiculous. Now, I know what Zoey is complaining about all the time. I forgot how nauseating the two of you can be."

Kevin walked away, and Kim could have cared less what he said. She was happy and finally life seemed to be going right.

* * *

That night lying in bed tucked into Adam's side, Kim couldn't sleep. She kept having a thought that would circle through her head. Or more like a question. She was warring with herself. She didn't want to rock the boat, but she also knew that she needed to admit to the concern. She took a deep breath and realized that she would need to talk with Adam tomorrow. Or that was her plan.

"What's wrong, babe?"

Kim looked up to see that Adam was not asleep like she thought he was.

"How did you know that I was still awake?"

"I could practically hear your wheels turning. That and you keep running your fingers over my chest. What's bothering you?"

"I don't want to be worried about nothing."

"But?"

"But. I also don't want to repeat past mistakes. I can't hide behind everything being good."

"Ok."

"I just want to make sure that you want to be here and you didn't just move in because Zoey pressured you."

Adam shifted out from under Kim slightly and she worried for just a second that he was going to get out of bed. Instead, Adam turned onto his side and got so Kim was looking right into his eyes.

"I want to be here, Kim. There is absolutely no other place I want to be."

Kim could see the sincerity in his eyes and she wanted to trust in that.

"I'll admit that Zoey pushed me a bit, but I would not have brought it up or even done this if I didn't want to. I think you know that."

Kim smiled. Wasn't that the truth.

"I love you, Kim. I love living with you and Zoey. You are both my family."

"I love you, too."

"Ok, well if we are being honest, can I say something?"

Kim nodded her head with slight apprehension.

"Will you promise me that we will continue to deal with concerns like this? Together."

"How else…"

Kim let her question fall off because she knew that he was voicing his own concern. No talking about their problems with other people before dealing with it together.

"I promise."

Adam raised his eyebrow and Kim saw that twinkle in his eye that told her he was going to flip the script.

"I actually meant in bed. Preferably naked, but that's just a suggestion."

Kim went to shove him playfully away but in the end it just gave Adam the opportunity to pull her closer. Not that she minded that in the least.

* * *

Kim was laughing as she turned the police cruiser down the next street. Her shift was almost over and she and Garcia were almost back to the precinct. Their last call had been from a mother reporting a domestic disturbance, but in reality she was simply trying to get her young son to eat his dinner. Kim was laughing about Garcia's face when he sat down to try and eat a plate with the young boy and the kid began to shovel his food into his mouth. Turning into the parking lot, their police radio broke into Kim's laughter.

"Officer down. Officer down."

Kim quickly pulled into a parking spot and threw it into park. She knew that voice. As Kevin's voice filled the cruiser with the unit's location, Kim and Garcia just sat listening to the radio as the dispatcher reported the ETA of the ambulance. Kim could feel her fingers digging into the wheel and her breath shortening. Who was it? Please not Adam.

* * *

Post AN: Um. Yeah. Moving is not good for stress...or my muse. I apologize for that. ;)


	8. Life Lessons

AN: I'm back! Again. If you haven't read my update on The Journey, lets just say that my move is finally done and I am finally starting to get back to writing. So sorry for the delay. I hope you enjoy the update and I will apologize if any of the editing is messed up. I did not have as much time to proofread as I would like due to my new job. Enjoy!

* * *

 **Life Lessons**

Life can have quite the cruel sense of humor. Just when you think you are in control again, or that you have things under control, the curve ball hits. The gut twist. That painful reminder that you have absolutely no control over what can come around that corner. That you can plan your life or think that everything is finally coming up roses and nothing will change that, but it is an allusion. Kim should have known better. Sitting now in the ER waiting room with almost every cop in Chicago surrounding her and the unit, Kim was thinking these thoughts. Closing her eyes, she tried to push them away. They were not helping and she knew she needed to be strong for Zoey. She had debated about bringing her to the hospital, but she knew better than to try and hide anything from her. Plus, she needed to be here for Adam.

He was pacing up a storm in front of her and Zoey. The hospital scrubs he was now wearing looked quite strange on him. Zoey had immediately questioned why he was in them, and Kim had dodged that question. She knew why. Or had a pretty good idea why. Erin had said that Adam was with Olinsky when the whole thing went down and that Adam had jumped into the ambulance by the time the rest of the unit had arrived on the scene. He had left Kevin there to explain what had happened.

The drug deal that they had been trying to make had gone bad and gone bad quickly. Kevin had described it as a flick of the wrist. One minute the deal was going good and then the next the guy had a gun in his hand and had fired off two shots before any of them could even blink. Al had been the closest and had taken those shots before he then shoved Adam out of the way. Kevin had returned fire as the dealer had taken off, but he wasn't even sure he had hit him. He had run off in pursuit, while Adam had stayed behind with Al. Erin had told Kim that Kevin had been in shock as he had recounted everything. Especially when he got to this part. Kevin walked up to see Adam's hands and shirt covered in blood as he was running after the stretcher holding Olinsky.

Kim squeezed Zoey slightly before getting up and getting into Adam's path. His eyes held confusion initially when he went to look at her. She knew the feeling. She took a deep breath and decided that she would do the only thing that she could for him. "I won't tell you that he is going to be okay, and if you want to keep pacing that is fine. Can I do anything?"

Kim knew he would need time to process what she had just said and she could see him doing just that as she watched his eyes. She remembered that shock. That numbness. The feeling of dealing with the world through a layer of fog. She could see when everything that she had said had finally gotten through and she saw him take a full breath for the first time all afternoon. He didn't say a word and he didn't have to. He just wrapped his arms around her and she knew exactly what he needed. He needed to know that she was there. He needed to have his family there to have his back if the worst actually happened. Kim felt Zoey's small delicate arms wrap around the two of them and could feel her niece's tears dampen the sleeve of her uniform. Kim moved her arm, so that Zoey could tuck into both of their sides and they just held each other.

"Alvin Olinsky."

The whole room turned towards a doctor that none of them recognized. Kim watched as Voight walked up to that poor man with a look that left no question as to what he wanted to hear. Al not coming out okay was not an option for that doc if he wanted to live. The doctor seemed to get the message as he cleared his throat before speaking to the room at large.

"Mr. Olinsky has just gotten out of surgery. He's lost a lot of blood, but he is stable now. As soon as he is out of recovery, his family will be allowed to see him."

The collective sigh of relief from that room was probably felt through the whole hospital.

* * *

Kim could honestly say that Olinsky getting shot drove home so many lessons for her and woke her up to some hard truths. She could not keep going day to day thinking that everything was going to be okay and she knew what she had to do for her peace of mind. She imagined that her sister had the same thoughts. She needed to make sure that Zoey would be ok if the worst happened. That's why she had found herself finding Derrick West's business card among the mound of paperwork that always sat on her desk. Why she quickly rearranged her schedule when he said he had an opening one Wednesday afternoon. Kim now sat at the kitchen table with a pen in her hand reviewing the legal paperwork that Derrick had worked up for her. Hearing the front door open, Kim quickly scrawled her name in the correct spot and prepared herself for the conversation she was about to have.

Adam walked into the room and Kim could see the question on his face. She was not supposed to be home from work yet.

"Babe, what's up? I thought you had the late shift today."

Kim capped the pen she had been using and took the breath she needed.

"I did. Derrick called me to let me know that he had the paperwork I requested ready. I didn't want to wait. I asked him to draw up a will for me."

Kim could see Adam's discomfort in the posture of his shoulders and in the way he immediately turned away from her.

"I need to know that Zoey will be ok."

Adam turned back to her at that statement.

"Kim, nothing is going to happen."

"You don't know that. I named you her guardian. If something were to happen."

Adam had been about to say something to her but those last two statements shut him down. Kim saw him swallow the emotion that her revelation had caused.

"You did?"

"Yes."

"You trust me with all that responsibility?"

"Of course I do. I love you. Zoey loves you. If I'm not here, you are the only one I want to raise her."

"God, Kim." Kim watched as Adam wiped his face with his hand to give himself time to deal with whatever was going on in his head. "I love you and Zoey so much. I. I don't want to think…"

"I know you don't. I don't either, but after the close call with Al. I needed to do this."

Adam pulled out the chair next to her and they both reached for the other's hand.

"I guess you aren't the only one that needs to be talking to Derrick."

"Not a bad idea."

* * *

"Are you looking forward to your sleep over with Bella and Miranda?"

Kim looked over to Zoey who was quickly trying to shove one last thing in her book bag before they headed off to school on this early Friday morning. Kim would have to head straight to the district after dropping Zoey off and at the rate they were going they were both going to be running late.

"Yeah. Miranda is really excited about something. Says she can't wait to tell me something, but won't drop any hints as to what. Ok, I think I'm ready."

"Good we're running late."

"Sorry had to grab something last minute. Oh, we need another box of tampons. The one under the sink is empty."

Kim ushered Zoey out the door and did not think about what Zoey had said. At least not until she had dropped her niece off at school and was driving towards the precinct. Kim began to put a running list of things that they needed together cause if she was stopping for tampons she might as well stock up on supplies and not make additional trips. That's when Kim's mind began to find the fact that Zoey was the one telling her they were out strange. She normally bought a box at the beginning of her cycle and Zoey's would start till later. How could they be out already? Oh. Kim's foot hit the brake a bit harder than she had planned when coming up to the stop sign near the precinct. They were out because she had not bought a box this month. Kim could feel her eyes widen as the dawning realization hit her that she would be buying more than just a box of tampons and supplies at the drug store. This was so not in the plans.

* * *

Adam was waiting for Zoey to finish taking her pointe shoes off so they could get home to pick up whatever Zoey was going to need for her sleepover tonight. He could feel his nerves ramping up at the crazy idea he had for dinner tonight. He was taking Kim out for a date which was nothing new when Zoey had sleep overs, but what he was planning to do was new. And he was petrified that he was going to screw everything up. Zoey finally had her ballet shoes off and her sandals on and was making her way to him. She had her mouth scrunched up to the side as she gave him the once over.

"What is wrong with you? You're making me nervous. Nothing else happened, did it?"

"No! Why would you say that?"

"Because you look like you are worried about something and you are never worried."

Adam nearly dropped his keys as he tripped over a crack in the sidewalk. Ok, he so needed to pull himself together.

"Ok, now I know something is up."

Adam quickly unlocked the truck and got in the driver's side knowing that Zoey would follow. He waited till she was in place and buckled up before he opened his mouth.

"I'm thinking about asking your Aunt to marry me tonight."

Adam looked over to gauge Zoey's response and was relieved to see her smiling.

"I think that sounds awesome. Just please tell me you aren't going to ask her in the locker room again. Please tell me you put more thought into it this time. You're going to get on one knee, right?"

Oh, man. Now he was really nervous.

"You think she would want that?"

"Every girl wants that."

"How do you know this?"

"I am a guurl. Plus, that's what's in all the movies. You have to get on one knee."

"Ok."

"What else are you going to do?"

Adam smiled and filled Zoey in on his plan. When he was done, some of his nerves were gone as he saw Zoey's eyes tear up.

"I know Aunt Kim will love that."

* * *

Kim didn't know what to think. Dinner was amazing, and Adam had really out done himself. When she got home that night and he threw a curveball and told her to dress up for dinner she had not had it in herself to argue. Add to the fact, that she had quite the busy day with a lot on her mind and she figured she would just go with the flow. She needed to talk to him, but this fancy restaurant had just not felt like the place to have this conversation. You can't drop a bombshell like this here. She was just hoping that she would still have the courage to do so once they got home. And the way Adam was acting was not helping her nerves. He was twitchy. If she didn't know better, she would think he was nervous.

"What are you going to have for dessert?"

Ugh. Kim was stuffed and dessert was the last thing on her mind.

"I was actually thinking we could skip dessert. I'm full."

Plus, she needed to get him home and deal with this.

"You sure?"

"Yes."

"Oh."

He sounded disappointed. Kim was still trying to figure that out when Adam pulled an envelope out of his jacket pocket and slide it across the table.

"I had hoped to do this with a little more fan fare and show you that I had really put some thought into things this time. I just hope this is enough. I love you, Kim."

"I love you, too."

Kim picked up the envelope and opened it. What she found inside was nothing close to what she was expecting. A card, yes. A handwritten note, sure. A pocket calendar, not in a million years. She looked up to ask him what in the world the calendar was for, but he spoke before she could.

"Open it. The page is marked."

Kim looked back down at the small calendar and found the page that had been marked with a red paperclip. She opened it and felt her breath catch in her throat. There in the month of March was a date circled in red with the words, "Will you marry me?" written inside. At first, Kim couldn't believe her eyes, but as she read those words again she knew she wasn't dreaming. Looking up, she found Adam already kneeling next to her chair.

"I wanted you to know that this time I'm not playing. Not that I was the last time, but this time. I don't want there to be any confusion. I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I don't want you to ever question that. I want to see you in a white dress and for you to have the day you always dreamed of. That's the only reason I put it that far out. If you want to do it tomorrow, I'll be there. I just want you. Only you."

Kim could feel the tears running down her cheeks and when she saw Adam pull her engagement ring out of his pocket it took everything in her not to just say yes and be done with it. However, she had to say one thing.

"I'll say yes on one condition."

She saw the worry cross Adam's face and she felt bad, but this was important.

"What's that?"

"March won't work. I'll be too big to fit in the wedding dress of my dreams. Think we can move it up?"

The smile on Adam's face showed relief and joy.

"Anything for you."

Kim felt Adam slide the engagement ring on her finger and then pull her in for the heart stopping kiss that she knew he had been holding in all night. She enjoyed it to the fullest and waited for her statement to sink in. As they pulled apart, she could hear some of the other patrons clapping for their happy news, but she could see that Adam was starting to question her statement.

"What do you mean you will be too big in March? You're perfect in anything you choose to wear. I don't understa…"

She watched as Adam began to understand.

"Kim, what are you saying?"

The tears were back. She couldn't help it. She had so much joy in her heart in that moment that she just couldn't hold it all in. She felt Adam brush her tears off her cheeks as he was trying to patiently wait for her to speak.

"I'm pregnant."

"What?"

All Kim could do was nod her confirmation and watch as the news caused the biggest smile to fill Adam's face.

"Really?"

"Yes."

She had barely gotten the word out when Adam had pulled her up out of her chair and into his arms. She knew they were making quite the scene in that restaurant and that just made it all the more memorable. She would never forget that night for as long as she lived. And she could not wait to be able to tell their child the story.

* * *

Post note: Don't worry. This is not the end. I have some ideas for some snippets. Might mean the upcoming chapters will be shorter, but hopefully it will mean that I will be able to update quicker than I would other wise. Hopefully not months in between updates. :)


	9. A Special Day

AN: So sorry for the delay! I haven't had a ton of time for the whole writing thing and my muse was more focused on The Journey. Well, I hope you enjoy this chapter or snippet as I would call it. I have a couple of those stored in my mind for this storyline. Enjoy!

* * *

 **A Special Day**

Kim couldn't believe that it was here. Part of her could not even believe that this was her life now. She looked back at her reflection in the mirror and felt like she needed to pinch herself. She was standing in the office in Aunt Jenny's house, but it hardly looked like an office now. The roll top desk was covered in hair appliances and makeup bags instead of papers and the small closet held various hangers that previously had held her dress as well as Erin and Zoey's dresses for the ceremony.

They had done it. Kim and Aunt Jenny had planned a wedding in two months. It was going to be a small affair. When Kim and Adam had looked at their schedules to try and figure out a time that would work…one day stood out. It was right and wrong all at the same time. A Wednesday. Who in the world gets married on a Wednesday? Apparently, they were. They were both off. Plus, had the day after off. Or they were able to make that work. Sure they had to pull Zoey out of school for today, but it wasn't like she was going to complain about that.

Kim was actually looking forward to the next school year. Zoey had decided that she wanted to switch schools. She had decided recently that she wanted to go somewhere closer to the apartment and to her dance studio. Zoey knew that she could still keep in touch with her friends, but the commutes were getting to be a bit much for everyone. Also, it meant that she would be at the same school as Bella and Miranda. Kim knew they were going to become the three musketeers since they were inseparable when out of school. Kim just hoped that Zoey would continue to keep her grades up and focus on her passions and not get too caught up in the social aspects of school.

Her mind was wandering. She knew she was trying to focus on other things to keep her nerves in check. And her stomach. Yeah. The morning sickness had kicked in with a vengeance. Luckily, so far today it had been kind to her.

"What's wrong?"

Kim turned to look at Zoey, who had just wandered out of the bathroom. Kim couldn't help but tear up. She looked so pretty in her pale pink dress and her hair all curled around her shoulders.

"Um..Erin. I think the pregnancy and wedding hormones are getting to her. She's going to cry."

Erin came flying in the room and pointed a hair brush in her direction.

"Don't you dare. I am not doing your makeup again. Pinch yourself hard or something. Understand?"

Kim took a deep breath and tried to blink away the tears that were threatening to spill over.

"I'm sorry. You look so pretty, Zoey. I can't help it."

"Thank you, but you look amazing. Adam's going to fall over."

Kim turned back to the mirror and hoped that Zoey was right. She ran her hand along the silk fabric trying to make sure that it wasn't getting creased. It was simple, but she had loved it the second she had put it on. The deep V in the front was something that she knew Adam would like, but the slightly full skirt helped to conceal the other news that they were waiting to tell everyone about.

It had not been easy. Adam was on cloud nine, so naturally everyone knew something was up. After all, he had been engaged three times…now four so people were not buying the wedding excuse. However, the questions had died down when the unit and a few other select people actually got invitations. I guess knowing that there was an actual date and the fact that it was less than a month away told people that he was going through with it this time.

Kim knew at this time that he would be out in the backyard waiting. Atwater was standing in as his best man, so Kim knew that he was there. Plus, they were having it in Aunt Jenny's backyard so he wasn't going anywhere. Who was she kidding? He wasn't going anywhere period. She had absolutely no worry on that front. He had to be dragged away the night before by Atwater so he wouldn't be with her this morning. Adam whined…actually whined that those superstitions were stupid. Kim couldn't help but smile at that memory.

"What are you smiling about?"

Kim took a breath and was about to answer Zoey when there was a knock at the door. Zoey went over to answer it and then her face seemed to take on a weird mask appearance to it.

"Hello. Who are you?"

"Hi Zoey. I know we haven't met since you were quite young."

Kim didn't need to hear anything but the word hi from that man to know exactly who it was. She froze and then quickly made her way to the door and yanked it open from Zoey's hand.

"Dad?"

William Burgess stood at six feet in a nice suit, but he looked down as he saw Kim and swallowed whatever he was about to say. When he looked back up, Kim was shocked to see tears in his eyes.

"You look beautiful, Kimberley. Adam is a lucky man. He called to let us know about the ceremony. I just wanted to let you know that your mother and I were able to make it after all. I didn't want you to be shocked when you came out. I would wish you luck, but I don't think you need it. Enjoy today. Enjoy every minute. It goes by quickly."

Her father began to turn to head towards the back yard.

"Dad."

Kim watched as her father stopped and turned back to look at her.

"Thank you for coming."

He smiled at her and then headed towards the backyard. Zoey was looking up at Kim like she could not believe the conversation that just happened.

"What in the hell was that?"

Kim looked down and scowled at her niece.

"Language. I think that was our family trying to take a step in the right direction."

"If you say so. That's my grandfather?"

"Yes. I can't believe he took off to come."

"You aren't the only one."

It wasn't long after that there was a knock on the door again. This time it was Aunt Jenny to tell them that it was time. Kim made her way towards the kitchen where the French doors to the backyard were. Erin helped her to make sure that her veil and dress were in place before she opened the doors. Kim watched as Zoey immediately began to make her way down the makeshift aisle that Aunt Jenny had created. Kim barely even noted that Erin had started her walk as she took in the back yard. It was beautiful with all the lanterns and flowers that they had been able to acquire. The soft light from the candles flickered across all of the people and Kim was amazed that so many of them had taken off for this day. Then she saw Adam. All rational thought flew out of her mind. The sight of him in a suit always took her breath away, but this was on a whole other level. It was the look in his eyes, the smile on his lips and the way she could tell that he was as excited for this day as she was. They were here. They had made it.

As Kim reached him, they could have been alone for all she knew. Her mind had no focus other than the man in front of her. She tried to take her father's advice, and she quickly understood what he meant. It flew by. They had told the minister that they wanted something simple and quick. It was that. Before Kim knew it, the minister was telling Adam that he could kiss the bride. Had she really said her vows? She had been so focused on Adam and making sure that he knew how she felt in that moment that the words had just come freely. The touch of his lips on hers broke her out of her thought and she just held on with everything that she had. When he pulled back, she saw it. He was in the exact same place. His eyes were glistening with unshed tears and he couldn't hold back that smile that she fell in love with. They were starting their life together the way you should. With family. With Friends. With everyone that counted.


	10. Aaron

**AN:** So sorry for the delay! My muse has been taking a bit of a detour lately, but I had parts of this chapter in my head for a long time now. I planned for it to be this short little blurb. Um. Yeah. That's funny. Over 2,000 words later. Here you go. Hope it is worth the wait!

* * *

 **Aaron**

Kim made her way up the stairs behind Zoey and cursed the fact that she picked a second floor apartment. They were just getting back from the grocery store after having worked a full day. So, at seven months along… Kim was exhausted. Once they were inside the apartment, Kim sat down the second she got to the couch. Groceries could wait for five minutes. Under normal circumstances, she would have no problem running after perps all day long and then take Zoey to dance, go grocery shopping and cook dinner. This baby was literally sucking the life out of her. She was counting down the days till he would be here. That's right. It's a boy. If she thought that Adam was on cloud nine before finding that out… Well, she was underestimating him. Zoey came back from the kitchen after putting away the groceries that she had carried up. She came to take the bags at Kim's feet and Kim said a quick thank you as she was picking them up.

"Give me ten minutes and then we'll start dinner."

Zoey stopped on her way to the kitchen and turned back.

"Aunt Kim, can I ask you a question?"

Kim smiled and nodded her head. "Of course, shoot."

Kim watched as Zoey seemed to debate something before opening her mouth.

"I'm just curious and all. Since this is a two bedroom. Um…when are we moving?"

Kim could feel her brain short circuit. Move? Wait. What?

"I'm sorry to ask, but we are going to need more room, right? I mean… the baby needs its own room. Are you okay?"

Kim's brain was racing through how in the world she had not thought of this before now. With that came panic and the 'oh shit I have way too much to do' thought process. They hadn't even started to think about setting up a nursery. Kim could feel the tears starting and she knew she needed to say something to Zoey. The words just were not coming. Kim watched as Zoey set down one of the bags of groceries and then pulled her phone out of her pocket.

"Adam, when are you getting home? I think I asked the wrong question and now Aunt Kim is crying. I asked when we were moving. Yeah. I know. I should have waited. OK, See you in five."

Adam was on his way. Good. Let him deal with this. Kim tried to wipe her tears away and then she got herself up off the couch. She needed to walk. Needed to do something. She picked up the bag that Zoey had placed on the floor and headed into the kitchen. She began to put stuff away and barely noted that the front door had opened. She was trying to stuff a box of saltines in the cupboard when she felt Adam's hands squeeze her shoulders. She brought her arms down and let Adam wrap his arms around her from behind. He kissed her temple and just held her for a minute before speaking.

"You okay?"

Kim could feel the tears wanting to come up again. She tried to swallow them down before she spoke.

"I'm just so tired and I hadn't even thought about the fact that we don't even have a room for the baby. I…"

"Shhh.."

Adam kissed her temple and cheek again to help sooth her.

"Darlin' don't worry. That is why we make a good team. I already talked with my Aunt about what was available for rent and to buy in the area. She's a real estate agent. My uncle owns a moving company. He promised that he would get a truck and that my cousins would move us for free as a wedding/baby shower gift. I got this. I promise. I know what you like."

"You didn't think to tell me this."

Kim could feel Adam shrug his shoulders as he held her.

"I was trying to make it a surprise once my aunt sent me some options. She just sent me an email with what's available. Do you want to look at it?"

Kim nodded her head and then turned in his arms.

"But after dinner."

Adam smiled down at her and kissed her lips.

"I love you, Darlin'. Have I told you how beautiful you are today?"

Kim rolled her eyes and shook her head.

"No."

She knew she was pouting and part of her felt awful for doing it.

"I haven't? Well, then I am failing at my job then. You are gorgeous. I am the luckiest man alive that you agreed to marry me. Do you want me to cook tonight to let you rest?"

Kim shook her head no to that.

"I love you, babe. But I think Zoey would see that as a punishment."

"Ouch. My cooking is not that bad."

Kim finally could feel herself smile.

"You set off the smoke detector last time."

"I swear that thing is too sensitive."

"How about we let you stick to what you are good at? Pasta night is always yours."

"Alright. Whatever you want. How about Zoey and I check out the houses while you cook? We'll keep you company."

"Ok."

Kim watched over Adam's shoulder as Zoey began to sneak her way back into the kitchen.

"The coast is clear, Zoey. The crazy pregnant lady has turned back into your Aunt."

Zoey came into the room fully and Adam turned to look at her.

"How about you go grab the laptop and we can look at some places Jenny sent us. Sound good?"

Zoey nodded and then bounded out of the room.

"Oh good. I now have two minutes to kiss you senseless before she gets back."

Kim didn't even have a chance to retort. Adam's lips were on hers in a heartbeat. She could feel herself getting lost in it as Adam placed his hand on her stomach. She felt the small kick at the same time Adam did. He looked down and then back to her.

"Little man seems to be saying hello."

"Yeah, he's been quite active today. Has not made sitting at a desk very comfortable. I love it though. Makes me feel like he's growing and healthy."

Adam kissed Kim again as Zoey was making her way into the kitchen. Zoey just ignored the display and started talking.

"Got the laptop. Did Aunt Jenny send it to your google address?"

Adam pulled back and then kissed Kim's forehead.

"Let me take care of this."

Kim began to make dinner as she listened in on Adam and Zoey analyzing all the housing options that Aunt Jenny had sent them.

* * *

Kim was sitting in her arm chair with her feet propped up as she watched Adam's cousins moving boxes into the new house. Adam had truly out done himself. The house that he and Aunt Jenny had found was perfect. It was a fixer upper, but that didn't bother Kim in the least. She loved all the old accents. Sure the kitchen and bathrooms would need updating eventually, but they could work on that. Adam had spent the prior day painting the nursery so that when they moved in at least that room would be ready. He and Atwater were currently up there putting furniture together and had left her in the living room to help direct his cousins as to where everything was to go. Kim looked up as Zoey came bounding down the steps. She was supposed to be putting her room together. Kim raised an eyebrow as she came in the room.

"Aunt Jenny, Miranda, and Bella just pulled up. Can I show the girls my room?"

"Of course. How far have you gotten?"

"Almost done. They can help with the rest. I just have my posters and stuff to put up. And I know. I know. Use the stuff that won't damage the walls."

Kim was confused.

"We have that stuff?"

Zoey had already been heading towards the front, but turned around.

"Um… yeah. Adam bought a ton. Said if I wanted him to paint my room that I would have to use it till he got there. Wasn't going to patch all the small holes from the thumbtacks. No big deal."

Kim just chuckled. Before Adam moved in, she had no idea how particular about that stuff he could be. I guess having contractors in the family has a tendency to do that to you. Kim was learning more and more about Adam's family as time went on. And not just on his father's side. Aunt Jenny had apparently stayed friendly with some of his mother's cousins since they all were basically from the same neighborhood. When Aunt Jenny had hosted the Jack and Jill shower for them, almost all of them had come. Kim could tell that Adam was not as close with them as he was with his father's family and she wondered what had happened there. She just had not had the heart or energy to tackle that one yet. Kim could hear the girls barreling up the stairs and knew that Aunt Jenny would be making her way to her soon.

"Oh my goodness. Adam is learning. He's got you set up nicely."

Kim looked around her and laughed. She had forgotten the fact that he had left a cooler next to her chair so that if she got thirsty she wouldn't have to get up.

"Yeah, I think he thinks I'm injured instead of just pregnant. It is sweet though."

"How are you feeling?"

"Like I'm ready for this baby to be here already."

"What did the doctor say?"

Kim had been to her last OB appointment a few days ago.

"He said the baby is healthy and everything looks good. His head is down, so it's just a waiting game."

They had really hoped to have moved way before this point, but when they had actually decided to buy instead of rent… well, that just takes longer. No way around it.

"I'm hoping he gives me a little time to get this place put together."

Kim grimaced as she felt a cramp in her side. She'd had a few of those today.

"I don't know. How many of those have you had today?"

"Don't go there, Jenny."

Aunt Jenny just started laughing. She excused herself saying that she was going to go up and make sure that Adam was actually putting the furniture together correctly. Kim rested her head back as the cramp went away. Maybe Aunt Jenny was right.

* * *

The day went by in the blink of an eye. Kim was now putting sheets on the bed, so they could hopefully get some sleep. Zoey was already asleep in her room and Adam was just doing a final walk around to make sure all the windows and doors were shut. They still had quite a few boxes to get unpacked, but they would get there. Kim was getting ready to shake out the straight sheet as she felt another cramp, but this was far stronger than that. She tried to breath through it as she just stood as still as she could. Ok, that was not a cramp. Ok, she was giving up. Those are contractions. Oh well. Not close enough yet. Just wait and see. The sensation finally went by and she glanced at the clock that Adam had set up on the dresser. Kim took note of the time and then finally began to spread the sheet across the bed. She was just getting to the point of trying to tuck the corners when Adam came in the room.

"House is all locked up. How are you doing?"

"Good. Almost done here."

Kim finished with the sheet and then went in search of the comforter from the hallway. As she came back in the room, she felt another contraction coming on which stopped her in her tracks. She could see Adam looking at her with concern.

"Darlin' what's wrong?"

Kim gritted her teeth as she answered.

"It will go away. Give it a minute."

"When was the last one?"

Kim looked at the clock again. Then reality finally sunk in.

"Um. We might need to head to the hospital."

Kim watched as Adam's eyes just about popped out of his head.

"What?"

"We are at about six minutes."

"Seriously? Are you sure?"

Kim rolled her eyes and she couldn't help the sarcastic remark that flew out of her mouth.

"No, I'm making it up just to mess with you. Yes, Adam. I'm sure and if I wasn't before I am now."

"Why?"

"My water just broke."

Adam immediately ran around the bed to her and took the bedding out of her hands. He began to escort her down the hallway and as they came close to Zoey's room he banged on the door. Not in the "Hey honey, get up. Your Aunt is having a baby and we need to go." It was a full "CPD, open the damn door." Kim tried to hide the laugh that was wanting to come out as a dazed and confused Zoey opened the door and Adam was immediately barking orders like the world was going to end. Zoey ran towards their bedroom to grab Kim's bag for the hospital. Adam was once again trying to get her down the hallway, but Kim stopped him.

"Um, Adam. Don't you think shoes and jackets would be a good idea."

Kim watched as that statement sunk in.

"Right."

Adam finally left her and Kim just chuckled as she continued down the stairs. The man had lost his mind.

* * *

Kim was in love. Absolutely exhausted, but completely and utterly in love. He was perfect. Ten little fingers. Ten little toes. Head full of dark brown hair and the sweetest little lips ever. Don't start her on the cheeks. No, just don't. She was holding their son and wondering how in the world she had gotten so lucky. She heard the footsteps and knew who was coming and she couldn't contain her excitement. Adam had left her a second ago to go get Zoey. She had gone with Maggie when they arrived. Maggie had said that she would set her up in the doctor's lounge so she could have plenty to do. Kim watched as Zoey's expectant face came into the room. Her niece looked like she was ready to run to her side with the amount of excitement she was feeling. Zoey contained herself as she made her way up to the side of her bed. Kim shifted some so that she could give Zoey a better look. Hearing her cousin fuss caused a look of concern to cross Zoey's face, but then Kim saw the look of love replace it.

"He's so tiny."

Kim just smiled.

"Do you want to hold him?"

Kim saw Zoey's eyes get so big like she couldn't believe that was a possibility.

"It's okay. Go have a seat in the chair. Adam will bring him to you."

Zoey did as she was told and Kim watched as Adam took their son and helped Zoey get in position. Kim couldn't help it. Watching her niece holding their son was too much. She let the tears fall freely. How had they gotten here? Adam was using his phone to take a picture of Zoey and Aaron. Their son's name had not even been much of a debate. When they found out, they had just known. How could they not name him in honor of Zoey's dad? Kim heard Adam start to chuckle.

"Atwater just responded to my text. He said, 'Didn't I just leave you guys? What the hell? On my way.'"

Kim smiled. Of course, Kev would leave his house in the middle of the night to come to the hospital. He was the best friend anyone could have. Adam's phone was lighting up like the Fourth of July.

"Um. Well, I guess the whole unit is on the way. Jenny and the girls will be by first thing in the morning. Your parents are trying to rearrange their schedule, but will for sure be here by tomorrow evening. Wow. Um, I didn't catch all the rest give me a second."

"What did you do? Send a group text?"

Adam looked up like that was obvious.

"Of course."

Zoey just shook her head and looked down at Aaron.

"Welcome to the circus, cousin."

That it was.


	11. Zoey Ruzek

AN: Ok, so once again. I planned on doing snippets. You get a full blown chapter. This story was always a rich minefield of emotion. Hope you enjoy it!

* * *

 **Zoey Ruzek**

Adam was sitting in the cue to pick up Zoey, Miranda, and Bella from school and the line was moving at a snail's pace. He didn't exactly mind since he was entertaining himself with watching his son sleep. Aaron was six months old now and he was growing like a weed. Adam watched as Aaron's little arms seemed to be reaching for something in his dream and then he settled back down. The smile on his face felt like it was a permanent fixture now. Almost nothing could take it away. Adam inched the truck forward and was glad to see that he was almost to the 'approved' pick up point. He wished Aunt Jenny had warned them about how long this line was after school. He wouldn't complain though. Was a hell of a lot quicker than the commute from Zoey's previous school. He saw the girls begin to make their way towards the truck and he could see that they were having quite the animated conversation. Teenage girls. All the doors on the truck opened and the girls climbed in. Zoey in the front and Bella and Miranda on either side of the still sleeping Aaron. His son could sleep through a tornado.

"I'm telling you, Zoey. Gavin really thinks you are cute."

Miranda's words nearly made Adam's blood run cold.

"Whatever, M. I don't see it. Anyway. Could you believe the homework Mrs. Morgan gave us?"

Oh, Adam was so not letting that go.

"Whose Gavin?"

Adam could see Miranda smiling in the back and Bella just smirking. Zoey on the other hand just rolled her eyes as she responded.

"No one. Just a guy in our history class."

Miranda started laughing.

"Just a guy that stares at Zoey through the whole class. He's in love with her."

Zoey shakes her head in disagreement.

"No, he isn't. I'm just the new girl. I'm a novelty."

"Does this Gavin have a last name?"

Zoey started to give Adam the evil eye, but he could have cared less. If some little punk had his eyes on Zoey, he damn well was going to know the kid's full name.

"Adam, its nothing."

Adam dropped the conversation, because as he looked in the rearview mirror Bella was mouthing the word 'Miller' to him. Oh, he loved that cousin. Such a good girl. Adam continued to drive as his wheels began to turn.

* * *

Kim was rocking Aaron as she began to carry him towards his crib. It had been a long day. She was back at work and she was still getting her endurance back. She had just gotten Aaron settled when she turned to find Adam standing in the doorway. He looked like he had something on his mind. Kim checked that the monitor was on and then followed Adam as they headed down to the living room. They sat down on the couch and Kim waited for him to open his mouth.

"So, apparently, some boy named Gavin Miller is making googly eyes at our girl at school."

Kim tried to keep her amusement in check. She tried. But the smile could not be kept from her face.

"You find this amusing?"

"No, but your reaction to it is. You look like you are ready to start an investigation into this kid. How did you find this out?"

"The girls were talking about it when they got in the truck this afternoon."

Kim nodded then placed a hand on Adam's arm to try and calm him down.

"I'm sure it is nothing to get overly worried about. This is normal. It's probably just a crush. Did Zoey seem interested?"

Adam just shrugged.

"Not really. She just kept deflecting."

Oh, really. Kim wasn't going to let on, but she had a sneaking suspicion that this little crush might go both ways. Interesting.

"Well, unless the kid decides to ask Zoey out on a date which would obviously be chaperoned… I think we can let this go."

She saw the side eye that Adam was giving her.

"Besides, Adam. It's Friday. The baby is asleep and Zoey is at a friend's. Is this really how you want to spend our evening?"

Oh, that changed his look. Kim started to laugh as Adam nearly tackled her back onto the couch. He was so easily distracted.

* * *

A lazy Sunday morning. Well, OK as lazy a Sunday morning can be with a six month old and an almost thirteen year old. Zoey's birthday was in two weeks and Kim had already had the day planned. Including the ballet tickets purchased for Zoey and Adam to see this year's production of Sleeping Beauty. Kim was sipping her coffee as Zoey was playing with Aaron on the floor.

"I can't believe he is sitting up already. How is he doing that already?"

Kim just laughed.

"He is actually right on schedule according to the pediatrician."

Zoey was shaking her head.

"I don't know. Seems fast to me."

Kim watched as she could see Zoey contemplating something.

"Aunt Kim?"

"Yes."

"Um… Would it be okay if I go to a movie next Friday with a group?"

Kim could feel her eyebrow raise. Oh no.

"Whose driving all of you?"

"Aunt Jenny."

"Who all is in this group?"

Zoey began to rattle off a list that included Bella and Miranda and several other kids that Kim recognized.

"Gavin, and Spencer and …"

"Gavin, huh?"

Zoey rolled her eyes as she dropped Aaron's hand who had been reaching for his cousin the whole time they had been playing with his toys.

"Adam told you?"

"Of course, he told me."

"It's no big deal. This is not a date or a crush or whatever he said."

Kim bit her lip to try and not smile before she responded.

"Zoey, honey. Who exactly are you trying to convince of that?"

Kim watched as Zoey's face fell some.

"Is it that obvious?"

Kim chuckled.

"Only to your Aunt who is well aware of how her sister acted with her first crush."

Zoey placed her face in her hands and Kim could see her face turning red regardless.

"Honey, it is completely normal. Yes, you can go as long as Aunt Jenny is seeing the movie with you. Which I guarantee you, she is. Even if she doesn't sit with you, so keep that in mind."

Zoey dropped her hands from her face and she smiled slightly.

"Thanks, Aunt Kim."

"You're welcome, but you have to tell Adam."

The smile was gone.

"Nooooo. He's going to freak out."

"That's an understatement. How badly do you want to go?"

"Oh God. This is going to suck."

* * *

Adam was sitting in the passenger seat of the unmarked car trying to calm his overactive brain. Zoey had just told him that she was going on this group date on Friday before he left for work. Not great timing for him, but he would wager that she did it on purpose so she wouldn't have to deal with the fallout. Smart girl. Adam knew he was tapping his hand against his leg, but he couldn't stop it.

"What's wrong, Kid?"

Olinsky was sitting behind the wheel just as calm as he could be as they were keeping an eye on the stash house up the street. Adam took a breath and decided he had better talk about it.

"Tell me. Is it too young to have Mouse run a background check on a kid that is thirteen?"

Adam could see Olinsky begin to grin. The man actually took that toothpick out of his mouth to allow himself to grin fully. Then he was laughing. Great. He was overreacting.

"Well, it kind of depends. Where is the kid from? If you suspect him of running with a gang, well then yes I would. I doubt that is the case though. Has young Zoey found herself a crush?"

Adam knew he was glaring. Everyone else seemed to find this funny. It was far from amusing for Adam. He knew what Junior High Schools were like now a days. Intelligence was giving them quite the education lately. They needed to have another conversation with Zoey.

"They are going on a group date on Friday."

"I'm assuming they have a chaperone."

"My Aunt Jenny."

"Then I would say that the background check can wait. Rough, isn't it?"

Adam scrubbed his face hard.

"I'm going to lose all my hair."

Olinsky was laughing again.

* * *

Kim was sitting next to Adam waiting for Zoey to look them in the eye. The second that they had started to talk about the fact that they needed to have a discussion, Zoey had dropped her head down on the kitchen table and had not lifted it, yet. Aaron was sitting in his high chair banging his hands on the plastic tray like he had his own personal drum set. Zoey finally raised her head and glared.

"You so do not need to do this. I am not getting into any situation where that could happen."

Kim and Adam both looked over to Aaron which is exactly who Zoey was pointing to.

"I love my cousin, but hell no. I haven't even been kissed yet."

"Do you want that?"

Zoey's eyes grew two sizes at Kim's question.

"I am not talking about this in front of him."

Zoey was now pointing at Adam and he had the audacity to get up from the table and leave the room. Well, she guessed that she was on her own. Except for Aaron. He wasn't going to be much help. Kim could see that Zoey was watching to make sure that Adam had truly left the area and the sound of a door closing was all the confirmation that she needed.

"Maybe. Not sure. I don't know Gavin that well, yet. So, no time soon."

"Ok. Well, a kiss here or there is fine. Just hold off on any of the other stuff for a long time."

"I know."

"Ok. I am pretty sure you could have said that in front of Adam and he would have been fine."

"That's not why I wanted him to go."

"Oh?"

Kim watched as Zoey looked over to Aaron and then back to her.

"I've been thinking about something. A lot. I was wondering if you think Adam would want to adopt me?"

Kim felt like her heart wanted to burst. Oh,wow.

"Um… Zoey. Do you understand what all that entails? You'd be giving up your last name. You'd take Adam's last name. Are you sure about this? You haven't been feeling like we have been distracted since Aaron was born or that we have been ignoring you, do you?"

Zoey took a deep breath and clasped her hands in her lap.

"I know I would be taking his last name. No, you guys have not been ignoring me and I don't feel like I am not loved anymore. If anything, I think you guys have been too worried about that. I want Adam's name. I know I am a part of the family and I know the name doesn't change that, but… He's like my father now. I know that Dad would want me to have that again. Dad will always be my father. But, Adam is, too. I wanted to surprise him for my birthday."

Kim wiped the tears that were falling down her cheeks and she tried to compose herself.

"We would both love to adopt you. I guess I can call Derek and see if he can help us out."

"Thanks, Aunt Kim… Do I need to call you something else now?"

"No. Aunt Kim is fine. Get to work on your homework. I've got to get Aaron started on his bath."

Zoey came around the table and gave her a hug before she left the room. Kim took a deep breath. She had no idea how she was going to keep this from Adam.

* * *

Kim was sitting on the couch trying to read her book as Adam was pacing along the floor. It was Friday night and the movie let out about thirty minutes ago. Aunt Jenny was going to drop all the kids off, so Kim wasn't expecting Zoey for probably another twenty to thirty minutes, but Adam was not that reasonable.

"You're going to create a rut in the carpet if you keep doing that."

Kim looked up as Adam finally stopped and turned towards her.

"How are you this calm?"

Kim closed her book and placed it on the coffee table.

"Well, you seem to be worried enough for the both of us. Doesn't help for me to get all worked up. If something was wrong, Aunt Jenny would have called. Come on, Adam. She didn't even want us to be making out at Thanksgiving and we are adults."

"You have a point."

"Yes, I do. Now come sit down and try to relax. Maybe if you are calm she will actually want to tell us about it."

Adam finally sat down next to her and then pulled her into his arms. She allowed him to hold her as they waited. When the door finally did open, Kim was quite impressed that Adam didn't try to jump up. Zoey made her way into the living room and she stopped to cross her arms as she stared at them.

"Aren't you going to ask?"

Kim smiled as she replied.

"How was it?"

Zoey shrugged.

"Like any other movie I have ever been to. We all got snacks and enjoyed the movie. No big deal."

"Didn't get to know Gavin any more?"

Zoey shook her head.

"Not really. It's rude to talk during a movie."

Kim just raised an eyebrow and then looked to Adam. He just shrugged and squeezed her to let her know that he was okay.

"Alright then. Glad you had a good time."

Zoey turned and headed to the stairs. Kim saw her phone light up on the coffee table. She picked it up and saw the text from Aunt Jenny.

 _All good. Gavin is apparently a bit skittish now. Found out that you and Adam are cops. Apparently, Bella informed him of this and how he better be good. I wonder who put her up to that._

Kim set her phone back down and then glared at Adam.

"What?"

"Did you pay off Bella to tell that poor boy that we were cops?"

Adam's mouth dropped open in feigned shock.

"You really think I would do such a thing?"

Kim just nodded in the affirmative.

"I would never pay a cousin to do that."

"What did you promise her then?"

That's when Adam's eyes shifted away.

"I may have promised her some concert tickets for the girls if she made good on passing some information along. They would have gotten them anyway, but she doesn't know that."

"You are horrible."

"I'm just delaying things. If he really likes her, our occupation should not matter."

"True that, but you still probably scared the poor kid."

"I did nothing. Bella did that."

Kim just shook her head. Between Adam and Zoey, she prayed that Aaron had a quick mind. He was going to need it in this family.

* * *

Kim shut the door behind Derek and looked down at the envelope that was in her hand. Derek had been an absolute angel to get this all done so quickly. It had required a lot of favor calling, but he had got it done. He even drove over to the house to drop them off so that they would be here when Zoey and Adam got back from the ballet. Kim walked back to the living room and placed the envelope down on the coffee table. Derek had already walked her through where they would need to sign. She had done her signature. It just needed Adam's. She needed a drink. She was so excited, she couldn't stand it.

She was sipping on her glass of wine when she heard the back door open. She waited as she heard an excited Zoey commenting on her favorite parts of the ballet. The two of them made their way into the living room and then stopped. Zoey looked to Kim with anticipation and Kim just looked towards the coffee table to let her niece know that it had all worked out. When her eyes came back up, Adam was eying her glass.

"I figured I would have a glass to help me relax waiting for you two. I think Zoey has something for you."

Adam's face was a study in confusion. Zoey walked forward to pick up the envelope from the coffee table. She looked up to Kim and Kim knew that she was getting courage from her Aunt to do this. Zoey turned back around and walked up to Adam. She handed the envelope over to Adam as she was speaking.

"This is really the only thing that I wanted for my birthday this year. I've loved everything today, but this is what I really want."

Adam still looked like he was completely without a clue and Kim could feel her tears already coming down her cheeks. Adam opened the envelope and then pulled out the pages. She could see him reading through the legal language and she could tell the exact moment that he understood what they were. His hand went up to his mouth and the tears just fell. He reached for Zoey with the hand that held the paperwork and she went to him quickly. He wrapped her up and choked out the words.

"Of course, Z. I would be honored."

Kim couldn't stand it any longer. She walked up to them and wrapped them both up. They all held onto each other till Adam's head finally came up.

"Where's the pen?"

Kim laughed and headed back to the coffee table. She grabbed the pen and took it back to him. He put the pages up against the wall and quickly signed his name where the flags were marked. They were a family. No paper was every going to change that, but it was nice to have it all be official. Kim hugged Zoey as her niece cried happy tears.

"Your homeroom is going to change. Gavin is going to be crushed."

Zoey groaned at Kim's remark.

"I so don't care."

Adam was just grinning from ear to ear. Kim was sure that this was just the icing on the cake to him.


	12. Heart break and dreams

**AN:** Well, hello all! Once again, I have written a full blown chapter for a story that figured I would be doing snippets or epilogues for. Go figure. For all of you that have also been following Burning Bridge...do not fret. I have a chapter in the works, but life and work seem to keep getting in the way of me finishing it. Can I say that being away from writing over the holidays was a needed break but I really missed it and hearing from all of you! I hope everyone had a wonderful new year! Happy Reading!

* * *

Adam was once again in the cue waiting to pick up the girls from school. He was tapping his thumb against the steering wheel to the beat of the song on the radio and looking forward to a hopefully uneventful evening.

"Thoey!"

Aaron was pointing his chubby little arm in the direction of all the students. Adam was always amazed at how quickly his now one year old son could pick his cousin out of a crowd. Adam was chuckling at Aaron's baby pronunciation of his cousin's name till he actually looked out the window and laid eyes on Zoey. Her arms were crossed and she had a determined stare set in her eyes. Bella and Miranda were flanking her, each with a arm around her shoulders. This didn't bother Adam so much. It was the bloodshot nature to Zoey's eyes that told Adam that something was wrong. It was also the rigid nature that she was holding her spine. It reminded him of Kim when they had broken up. This was not good. The girls began to make their way up to the truck as Adam moved it up to the curb. They were walking as Gavin seemed to come out of no where and got in front of the threesome. He started talking to Zoey in an animated fashion. Adam was about to get out of the truck watching the scene in front of him except for what happened next. Zoey was just staring straight ahead when Miranda finally got between the two and pointed towards the truck. Gavin turned in Adam's direction and he could see the hopeless look in the kid's eyes. Oh this was really bad. Gavin sulked away and the girls began walking again. Adam's heart broke watching Zoey wipe away the few tears that had fallen down her cheeks. Bella and Miranda were now blocking anyone else from getting near Zoey. The last seven months had been a bit of a roller coaster for the family. Zoey's first true boyfriend had quickly morphed into her first love. Looked like that might be over now. Adam gripped the steering wheel tighter and took a deep breath as Miranda opened the front truck door to help Zoey get in. His two cousins then quickly got in the back. Zoey wouldn't look him in the eye as she got her seatbelt fastened. He looked back in the rear view mirror and saw Miranda and Bella shaking their heads. They were trying to tell him to leave it alone. He knew better. Adam whispered in Zoey's direction.

"You okay?"

"I'm fine. Can we go?"

Adam put the truck into gear and pulled away from the curb. He looked back in the rear view mirror again and saw that the only one with a happy look on their face was Aaron. He smiled and threw the toy in his hand towards the front of the truck.

"Thoey!"

Zoey took the toy that had somehow landed in her lap and casually flung it into the backseat.

"Not now, Aaron."

Bella leaned over and picked the toy up from the floor board to hand back to Aaron. His little lip was sticking out. He was not use to being ignored by his cousin. Miranda took Aaron's hand and got his attention focused towards her. Adam maneuvered the truck through traffic to get to a clear section before speaking.

"Am I dropping you off at dance or is there a change of plans?"

"Why would there be a change?"

Adam took a deep breath and then looked back to Zoey out of the corner of his eye.

"I'm fine. I'm not changing my life because of him."

Adam nodded his head and headed for the dance studio. This was not going to be easy.

* * *

Kim walked through the front door and heard nothing but silence. Or as close to silence as their house ever got. Something was wrong. Really wrong. She began to walk towards the kitchen to see if anyone was home and realized that someone must be. The sound of cabinet doors opening and closing told Kim that someone was putting away dishes. She rounded the corner and found Adam moving back and forth from the dish washer. His face was so serious that it caused Kim's heart to catch. What in the world was going on? Kim was just about to speak when Adam turned around and looked up. He just held the stack of plates in his hand for a minute and then placed them on the counter. He leaned back against it and looked up towards the stairs.

"I think Zoey and Gavin broke up today. She wouldn't talk about it. They had a nice little confrontation before getting in the truck this afternoon. She's been in her room since we got home from dance. Wouldn't even come out for dinner. Aaron took forever to get down tonight since he didn't get his bed time story from her. I think she needs her Aunt Kim. I doubt hearing from me that not all guys are assholes is going to help."

Kim set her work bag down on the floor and walked up to Adam to give him a hug. He looked like hell. Worry did that to you. She kissed his lips and then rested her forehead against his.

"This was supposed to be your thing, you know."

She saw the smallest smile grace his lips. She knew he was remembering that conversation in her old kitchen when they were trying to decide who would be dealing with the sex talk and she had told him that he was going to have to deal with boy trouble.

"I tried, Darlin'. She wanted nothing to do with that."

"Maybe she wasn't ready. I'll see what I can do to soften her up. She'll still need you, you know."

"I know. I'll finish cleaning up. I'll heat you up some dinner."

"Thanks."

Kim stepped away and then headed upstairs. As she made her way down the hallway, she peeked her head in Aaron's room and saw him fast asleep with his little arm wrapped tight around the stuffed dog that Zoey had given to him two months ago. It had actually been a gift from Gavin to Zoey with a bunch of flowers for Valentine's day, but Zoey could see that Aaron had been fascinated with the thing and hadn't thought twice about handing it over. Kim finished making her way up to Zoey's door and would have thought that her niece was asleep as well since it was so quiet, but light was still visible under the door. Kim knocked on the door lightly and waited.

"I'm not hungry."

Kim sighed. Oh, she remembered the feeling.

"I figured as much. Can I come in, sweetie?"

Kim thought she was going to be ignored till the door cracked open. Zoey was standing there in her pajamas and it was obvious that she had been crying.

"Oh, sweetie."

Kim pulled Zoey into her arms and her niece did not fight her in the least. She wrapped her thin arms around Kim's waist and buried her face in Kim's neck. Kim kept rubbing her back as she let Zoey get it out. When she realized that this was going to take awhile, she moved them gently over towards the bed and sat down while pulling Zoey down next to her. She switched to light stroking of Zoey's hair and began to hear Zoey hiccup slightly as her crying began to abate.

"What happened?"

Zoey sat up straight and wiped the tears away from her cheeks. Her face was screwed up in such pain and disgusted that Kim didn't know what to do.

"I caught him giving a kiss to some girl in his chemistry class. He tried to claim that it was nothing, but it sure as hell didn't look like nothing. Then, Tyler told me that Gavin had been bragging about how she was giving him what he needed in the locker room the other day. We got in a huge fight at lunch. I told him it was over and he just kept saying that she was nothing and that Tyler was lying."

Kim took all this in and then began to wring her hands.

"Zoey, don't take this the wrong way. I'm not trying to defend Gavin, but do you think it is possible that maybe Tyler was lying."

Oh, Kim had learned this particular lesson the hard way and wanted to make sure that her niece did not make her mistakes.

"I wanted to think that, but Spencer... he kind of confirmed it. Not that Gavin used those exact words. He said that Gavin just said that she was a sure thing or something about how she was offering it up on a silver platter. I don't know. I just don't want to deal with that kind of crap. I really thought I loved him...and that he loved me. Why would he be like that? Why would he do this?"

Kim was at a loss for words. "I don't know."

"Boys are jerks. They suck."

"They don't all suck, Zoey. I know this won't make you feel better now, but you will move on from this. It does sound like Gavin was being highly disrespectful. Not just to you, but to the other girl as well. I am proud of you for not wanting to deal with that and for standing up for yourself. Never ever feel like you have to settle for that. You deserve to have someone that will treat you like.."

"Like Adam treats you."

Kim watched the absolute certainty that this was true write itself all over her face. Kim pushed Zoey's hair behind her ear.

"Yes, like Adam treats me now. He's not perfect, Zoey. Neither am I. We had to work at things. We had disagreements and misunderstandings. You know this, but we both loved each other enough that in the end we found our way back to each other. Now, are you sure that there is no hope?"

Zoey was nodding her head in the affirmative.

"Ok, well. I guess we have to implement the boyfriend purge then."

Zoey's forehead was now scrunched up in confusion.

"The what?"

"Boyfriend purge. You gather up all the stuff that reminds you of him and you throw it out or burn it. Then you eat ice cream."

Zoey's eyebrows were now raised.

"Really?"

"Yes."

"Even the part about the ice cream?"

"Especially the part about the ice cream. You don't even have to have dinner first."

Zoey took a moment to ponder this, but Kim could see it in her eyes. The girl was ready. She got up and started moving around her room. She yanked photos off the walls and dug a sweater out of her laundry bin. She ended up with a nice little pile of stuff on her floor and then looked up at her aunt.

"Can we burn it all?"

"Umm...well. Not all of it. We can burn some of the paper stuff in the fire pit in the back yard. Adam will help you with that."

Zoey's face began to fall slightly.

"Oh, come on. Are you really going to deny him the satisfaction of playing with fire and helping you get over a boy?"

"He won't say that he told me so?"

"No. He will never say that. He hates this. Gavin is probably lucky that Adam doesn't know the specifics."

Zoey's eyes got a glint to them. An evil, I suddenly have power to inflict pain, glint to them.

"Rain that back in, Zoey. We may burn the boy's stuff in effigy, but you are not sicing Adam and Atwater on that boy."

"Who said anything about Uncle Kevin?"

"You didn't have to."

Zoey finally smiled.

"Ok, just his stuff. Thank you, Aunt Kim. Can we do it now or do we need to wait?"

"We can do it now. You can stay up late this once."

They both headed down stairs and Kim filled Adam in on the plan as Zoey lugged the stuff down. Adam got the fire pit going in no time and Kim brought out bowls of ice cream for them all as Zoey began to feed the stuff into the flames. Kim handed a bowl to Adam as she continued to watch her niece.

"So, is this how the Burgess women deal with heart break?"

Kim nodded her head.

"I guess I know where all my notes and our pictures from our first year went then."

Kim shook her head quickly and then looked to Adam.

"I never got rid of our stuff. I couldn't do it. I didn't understand it at the time, but I guess I just knew that I would find my way back to you. I don't know. I just didn't want to get rid of you."

Adam smiled and took a spoonful of ice cream before setting his bowl down.

"I'm going to chose to believe you."

Kim laughed.

"If you don't, you can see for yourself. Everything you gave me is in a box in our closet."

"So that's what's in that pink box."

"You never peeked?"

"No, I did not."

"Too bad. You would have known how much I love you then."

"I don't need to see that stuff to know that, Kim."

They just smiled while looking into each others eyes till they heard Zoey sigh out loud. They both looked in her direction and she was holding one last picture. It was taken by Adam when he had taken them to the Thanksgiving Day parade since Kim was working that morning. Adam wrapped his arm around Kim's shoulders as they watched Zoey take that moment. She dropped that last picture into the flames and then picked up her bowl of ice cream and sat down on one of the chairs next to the fire as she ate it. Adam kissed the top of Kim's head as they stood there. Kim knew that Zoey's mind was working overtime, but she also knew that now was not the time to talk. Zoey would get through this and she'd be stronger for it.

* * *

Kim was signing the last line of the booking paperwork she had been filing out when she felt a prescience next to her shoulder. Kim looked up and found Voight watching her. He was sporting a slight smile and a knowing look which left Kim feeling like her world was about to get turned upside down again.

"Burgess. You have a minute?"

Kim finished her signature and placed her pen down.

"Of course, Sarg. Is everything okay?"

Voight's smile just grew larger.

"Well, I hope so. Something that you might be able to help me out with. We have an opening in Intelligence now that Antonio is leaving to run his own crew. I figure it will be something that you and Ruzek will have to work out, but if you want it... the spot is yours."

Kim knew she should say something. She just couldn't. She was in shock. Voight patted her on the shoulder and left her with one last comment.

"Get back to me tomorrow. Be ready, Burgess."

Kim swallowed and began to tap her pen on the paperwork. She could sense Platt staring at her.

"I figured you would be more excited, Burgess. Your dreams are coming true. Better get home to that husband of yours and tell him the good news."

Kim just continued to tap her pen.

"Burgess, that was me politely telling you to get off my desk. Go!"

Kim finally shook the fog from her head and moved away from the desk. Oh, there was so much more to all this than just a job opportunity.

* * *

Kim made her way into the house and found some comfort in the fact that she could hear music playing from Zoey's room upstairs. It wasn't so loud that she felt the need to remind her niece that Aaron was supposed to be sleeping, however, the sad love songs did make her realize that Zoey wasn't quite ready to move on just yet.

Kim headed for the living room and found Adam just where she expected. He was sitting watching the hockey game and sipping on a beer. He looked up as she made her way into the room and she quickly dropped her bag next to her feet as she sat on the couch next to him. Adam's arm quickly made its way around her shoulders and Kim leaned into his chest for a moment as she tried to figure out how to bring this up. Adam, apparently, must have known something was coming, so he spoke first.

"Did Voight talk to you today?"

Kim sat up and raised an eyebrow as she responded.

"Did he say something to you?"

"No. I just figured with Antonio leaving... he was going to need to fill that spot. I know you would be his most logical choice."

"Yeah, he talked to me."

Adam's smile spread across his face.

"So, you told him yes. I guess we've got some stuff to figure out."

"I didn't say anything."

Adam's smile fell, but she kept going before it was gone too long.

"I honestly was too shocked. I didn't know what to say."

"Kim, this is your dream. We'll figure it out. We'll make it work. I'm sure Jenny can watch Zoey and Aaron. It might actually make it easier with both of us being gone at the same time or mostly the same time. Even if it isn't. This is something you want..."

"Something I wanted."

Kim let her statement hang in the air and saw how confused Adam was.

"It was something I wanted. Before Zoey, and you, and Aaron. Part of me wants it still, but...there is so much to take into consideration. Intelligence is dangerous. We kick down the door first and I know that patrol isn't any safer, but... I am already doing that. With Zoey and Aaron, and who ever may or may not be on the way...I just don't know, Adam. Is it worth..."

Adam's shocked facial expression caused Kim to realize what she had just said. It had been on her mind the last several days, but with Zoey's relationship drama, Kim had just put off talking to Adam about her suspicions. Adam's eyes were now blinking fast and he placed his beer on the coffee table as he sat up straighter from his previously reclined position.

"Kim,...what, who, might..."

"Um... did I mention that I think I might be pregnant again?"

Kim watched as Adam initially smiled. Then, it fell slightly and he was getting up from the couch and pacing the floor.

"Are you not happy?"

Adam stopped his pacing and turned to face Kim.

"I'm ecstatic if you are, but it kills me to think that you are missing out on another opportunity because of me."

"We don't know that, yet."

"You haven't taken a test?"

"No, I was more focused on Zoey and making sure she was okay."

Adam was rubbing at the small amount of stubble that was back on his face. Kim figured that the summer beard would be making its appearance, again. She secretly was looking forward to it.

"Don't you think you should be taking one so you can make a decision. I mean it might not be a factor."

Kim reached down into her bag and pulled out the box she had bought. She stood up and made her way up to Adam. She kissed his lips and then placed her hand on his cheek.

"I am going to be honest with you now, so you know how I truly feel. If I had to pick between having another baby or Intelligence? Sign me up for nine months of desk duty. I will still have time to get into Intelligence one day or get my detective shield."

"I wish that wasn't a choice you had to make."

Kim smiled and kissed Adam's lips before heading towards the bathroom. Best to see what the future would hold now.

* * *

Adam was sweating. When in his life had five minutes ever felt like an eternity? Waiting in a car when performing a sting? Sure. When Al got shot and they were waiting for the ambulance? Yep. He had another moment to add. Waiting for Kim to come out of that bathroom. He felt like a selfish ass. He wanted that test to come back positive, but he felt all kinds of wrong for wanting that when Kim would probably lose her opportunity to move up to Intelligence. He was sitting on the couch having this debate in his head of how he should be feeling when Kim came walking in the room. He looked up and initially couldn't tell from the look on her face what the outcome was. Then she smiled the biggest smile he had ever seen and turned the test in his direction. Adam forced himself up off the couch so he could actually see it. Looking down he saw those two pink lines and felt the smile break across his face. However, it lasted for all of a second. He felt it fall and then felt Kim jab him in the stomach.

"Stop it. I told you. This is what I wanted to. You can smile. You can be happy. Don't you dare feel bad about this. We're having a baby!"

He could feel his smile begin to creep back across his face.

"I just want you to have everything that you have ever wanted."

Kim jabbed him in the stomach again.

"I have more than I ever dreamed of having. I love you."

"I love you, too."

The feel of Kim's arms wrapping around his waist was the most wonderful feeling in the world.

He cupped her face in his hands and just gazed in her eyes. He found all the answers to the questions in his mind there. She was truly happy and he would not take a bit away from that happiness. He bent down and picked her up and spun her around in his arms. Kim's laughter filled his heart and for the first time that night he let the doubt go. As he let her back down, he made sure to keep her close.

"I hope it's a girl. I'll be happy either way, but I would love to have a mini you running around."

Kim smiled and then laughed.

"That's funny, because even with Aaron... I'd actually like to have another boy."

Adam shook his head. "Well, we'll just have to wait and see then won't we."

"Yes, we will."

* * *

Kim made her way into the precinct the following day and couldn't keep the smile off her face. She had just got off the phone with her MD who had confirmed the test results from the night before. Her smile only faltered slightly as she looked at the stairs up to Intelligence. She heard the buzzer sound as Platt had opened the gate for her. Kim pulled the door open and began to make her way upstairs. She made the landing and saw all the members of the unit busy at work. Atwater smiled in her direction as she walked past his desk towards Voight's office. She knew that Adam wouldn't be there since he had already told her that he would be checking in with a CI that morning. It would have been nice to have him there. His silent support would have made this easier, but it couldn't be helped. Kim took a deep breath as she reached Voight's door and knocked on the frame. Voight waved her in and then motioned for her to take a seat. Kim sat down and then took another breath. Voight's voice broke the silence.

"I can tell that I am probably not going to like what you are about to tell me. Don't tell me that Adam doesn't want you up here."

"No! Sarg, actually, he would love nothing more than to have me accept this opportunity. It's just not the right time for our family and I just can't accept the position at this time."

"Do you mind telling me why?"

Kim could feel the smile grace her face again.

"Adam and I are expecting. I won't be doing much field work in the future. I'll be having this conversation with Platt as well once I'm done here."

The full smile on Voight's face was a rare occurrence.

"Congratulations, Burgess. Are you turning down the spot simply because of this or are there other reasons?"

"Just this."

"Well, normally that would be a deal breaker, but I run this unit. I decide who I want here. I chose you. There maybe others that could work for the time being, but I know what we are going to need for the future. You're worth the wait. Besides with Mouse leaving, we have plenty of research and technical stuff that will need to be taken care of till we hire his replacement. You up for that?"

Kim couldn't believe it. She truly thought that she was dreaming. Voight's chuckle was the only sound in the room since she had completely stopped breathing.

"I'll take that silence as a yes."

Kim nodded her head and Voight pointed towards the door.

"Well, Antonio's desk is yours. I'll handle Platt so you have the paperwork you need. Go get settled."

Kim felt like she was outside of her body as she got up and headed out of Voight's office. Life just seemed to love to throw her curve balls. She just hoped that all this good news didn't mean that bad news was around the corner.

* * *

Post Note: Forboding music sounds. LOL! What do I have planned? I will never tell. Hope you won't be too upset with how this chapter went. BTW, I cannot believe we have to wait two weeks for a new CPD. Ugh! I can't even. We've already been without Ruzek for long enough. This is torture!


	13. Curve Balls and Gut Checks

AN: I should be writing cute, happy, fluffy stuff. I should be. Don't hurt me after this chapter. Please. I'll go into hiding. Actually, that would be a lie. I won't do that. I need to work on the next chapters for Burning Bridge and You can run. Well, I hope you all can appreciate that this story has so many more chapters to come. Happy Reading.

* * *

 **Curve Balls and Gut Checks**

Curve balls and gut checks. That is life. Change is the ever constant thing you can count on. Intelligence was dealing with that. Her family was going to be dealing with that as well. Kim was setting up her desk in Intelligence and really could not believe her luck. She would be using Antonio's old desk and she honestly could not think of a better spot to be. Adam swore up and down that he had the best seat since he could tuck away when he needed to or be in the thick of things. Kim however liked that she would be out in the open. Plus, she was next to Erin and would be looking right at the love of her life and her best friend. Perfect view.

It had been a month since she had talked to Voight. Her transfer paperwork had taken more time than they thought it would. In order for her transfer to go through, she had to hold off on submitting her paperwork to go on desk duty. That had not bothered her too much since they had decided to hold off on telling anyone for awhile. This included Zoey. Kim was nervous about springing another baby on her niece. She wasn't sure why, but she was actually worried that Zoey would be annoyed or upset. Plus, she really just wanted to make sure that things were going okay with the pregnancy. She was becoming superstitious as she was getting older.

Zoey had been slowly getting back to her old self after the break up with Gavin. There were no new crushes on the horizon as far as Kim knew, but she knew this would only last for awhile longer. Next school year would bring more changes. High School. Kim brought this up to Adam the other day and she saw his face turn to stone. She knew what he was thinking. Time was going by too fast. Before they knew it, she would be asking to learn to drive. Ugh. Kim was so making Adam take that one.

Kim's cellphone began to ring and she quickly checked the caller id. Zoey's number was lighting up the screen, so Kim did not hesitate to answer it. It was lunch, so the phone call was unusual.

"Aunt Kim?"

"Is everything ok? Are you sick?"

She could hear Zoey laugh.

"No. Nothing like that. I realized that I forgot to tell you and Adam about the big news from school yesterday and Miranda is trying to make plans."

"What plans?"

"The school is hosting a Father Daughter dance at the end of the month. Adam will take me, right?!"

Kim looked up to watch as Adam and Kevin were both analyzing something on a laptop for the current case. Adam must have been able to feel her gaze because he looked up and smiled in her direction.

"Of course, he will. Just let me know the date and I'll make sure he puts in for the day off so he doesn't get called in."

"Thanks, Aunt Kim! That was the bell. I got to run. Love you!"

"Love you, too."

Kim set her phone on the desk and started looking through her desk drawers. She had some paperwork to fill out for Adam.

* * *

Adam was sitting at the lunch counter next to Olinsky as they were waiting for their CI to show up. He knew he was smiling and he could not help it. His heart was full to overflowing. When he would look back over the last two years he could not believe how much his life had changed. He went to take a sip of his coffee and had to take a quick breath to try and calm himself down. He quite possibly had a bit too much of the dark magic liquid that day.

"Knock it off, Kid."

Adam set his cup down and turned to look at his mentor.

"What?"

"Smiling. You'll scare the guy off. He's twitchy enough as it is."

"Sorry. Can't help it. I can move."

"What has you so happy?"

Adam took a breath. He knew that Kim was trying to keep the in the know circle small right now, so he went with the news he could tell.

"Zoey wants me to take her to a Father Daughter dance at her school."

Adam could see the gentle smile that had graced Al's face and the understanding nod of the head.

"Take pictures."

"Of course."

"How's Burgess handling the move up to Intelligence? Is she frustrated that Voight has not let her out of the precinct? I would imagine that she would be itching to get her hands dirty after all this time."

Adam took a deep breath and realized that this was his mentor's round about way of asking what was going on. Sneaky. Adam took a sip of his coffee to try and give himself time to think.

"I've never seen Voight this protective of an officer."

Adam rolled his eyes. He had no choice.

"We've been trying to keep this quiet."

Adam saw Al shift his eyes in his direction without moving his head an inch. It was like the old guy knew he only had to wait so long to break his younger counterpart.

"We're having another baby."

"And Voight did not want her to have to give up this spot. He knows how to work the system."

Adam knew all he had to do was nod for confirmation of that suspicion.

"Congratulations, Kid. Well, looks like our friend has finally arrived."

It was show time.

* * *

Kim sat outside the dressing room waiting for Zoey to finish changing into the fifth and final dress that she had taken back to try on. She was truly hoping that this would be the one. The store they were in had a smell that she just could not put her finger on what it was, but her stomach was not at all happy about it. She was rubbing her forehead and eyeing a trash can that was near the entrance counter. Using that thing in the middle of a dress shop was the last thing she wanted to do, but she had not been able to spy a bathroom and she didn't want to leave Zoey. Plus, Aaron was currently toddling his way down the dressing room hallway. Kim got up to go follow him just as Zoey's dressing room door popped open. Aaron continued his trek to his cousin as she was adjusting the bottom of the dress. Watching Zoey smile as Aaron reached her made Kim's heart melt.

"Thoey, up."

Zoey shook her head no, but Aaron's little lip pout always did her in. Zoey pulled up the dress slightly so she could bend down and lift her cousin into her arms. Kim quickly pulled her phone out to capture this moment as Zoey was making faces at Aaron. It was quite the scene. Formal dress, heels, and messy haired toddler. It was then that Kim felt the wave of nausea hit her hard. She tried to breath through it. She really did. However, her stomach was done. The mad dash she made to that trash can was a relief at the same time a huge embarrassment. She was kneeling on the floor as one of the sales associates came up and asked if there was anything she could get her. Hell, the woman even began to help hold her hair back. Kim could feel her face turning red.

"Aunt Kim. Are you okay? I can change real quick if you are sick. I'll keep Aaron with me. Just give me a minute."

"No, Zoey. I'll be fine. You need a dress."

"It's okay. I actually really like this one. We can just pay and go."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes."

Kim just nodded as she watched Zoey turn away with Aaron on her hip to change her clothes. Oh God. What a way to find a dress.

It was a few moments later before they were getting in the car to head home. Kim had paid for Zoey's dress and even offered to tip the sales associate for dealing with her. The lady had just shook her head.

"I puked every hour when I was pregnant with my son. I know how that goes."

"Wait, how?"

"People typically do not turn green that quickly. I hope you don't deal with it too long."

Kim sighed. If her pregnancy with Aaron was any indication... fat chance. Kim made her way to the car with Zoey's dress and saw that she already had Aaron strapped in and ready to go. Kim got situated and went to put the key in the ignition when Zoey spoke.

"So, when were you guys planning on telling me that you have a bun in the oven?"

That girl never failed to amaze and shock her all at the same time. Where in the world had she heard that phrase?

"Ummm... I've honestly been waiting for the right time. Adam will be disappointed that he wasn't here."

Zoey was smiling. Good sign.

"You weren't worried that I would be upset?"

"Ummm..."

"Come on Aunt Kim! Why?"

"Do you forget all the sleepless nights with a crying baby?"

Zoey just rolled her eyes.

"He didn't wake me. Adam bought me earplugs."

"Really?"

Zoey just nodded her head. The things you learn. That man took care of stuff that she had no idea about sometimes. He was going to get a reward for that as soon as her stomach quit making her feel like she was going to lose her lunch every minute.

"Ok, well. Yes, you'll have another cousin at around the new year. Wow, you'll already be in high school then."

Zoey was shaking her head in excitement over this. Kim was thinking that she was sooo not ready for it.

* * *

It was the day of the dance when Adam was at home that the gut punch came. The day that reminded all of them how precious every second that they got to spend with each other was. The team was in the bull pen when the call came in. Or came in for Halstead. Kim would never forget that day. She was verifying that Aunt Jenny was doing okay wrangling three teenage girls to the salon for mani's, pedi's, and hair when they all heard Jay answer his phone. It was the silence that caused Kim to instinctively hang up with Aunt Jenny.

"Jay."

Erin's voice was tight and it made Kim immediately look in Jay's direction. His face was as close to a mask as a person can have. His jaw was flexing and his free hand was clenched on his desk. He just kept listening and only spoke when the person on the phone must have asked if he was still there. He stayed on the phone for a few minutes more and then placed the cell on his desk. He got up and grabbed his jacket and phone and then just walked out. There was no big display of emotion. He just walked away. Erin quickly ran after him and the rest of the unit just looked to each other. They were all confused and would remain that way for the next thirty minutes. This was when Erin slowly walked her way back into the room. Her eyes were blood shot and swollen. Kim's heart sank because she knew that look. Voight had come to his doorway and he took the few steps needed to place a hand on Erin's shoulder.

"It's Mouse. He didn't make it. That's all Jay will say. He didn't make it."

Voight wrapped Erin up in a hug as the whole bullpen fell silent. For the first time since they had all lost Natalie... you could have heard a pin drop.

* * *

Kim sat behind the steering wheel for a good five minutes just looking at their house. How could she do this? How could she walk in that door and tell Adam this news right before he would be leaving with Zoey to go to the dance? Should she say anything? Should she keep it to herself? What was a few more hours? The tapping on her window nearly made her come out of her skin. Adam was looking at her with worry and Kim knew she would never be able to keep this from him. She went to open the door and he reached for her hand to help her out.

"Why are you sitting out here, Darlin'? What happened?"

Kim could feel the tears rolling down her cheeks before she could open her mouth. She whispered out the news to Adam and could see his whole face fall. As the tears began to well up in his eyes, he pulled her to him. They stood in the driveway holding each other for God only knew how long. Adam buried his face into her neck and she felt his whole body shake when he finally let go. She held on as hard as she could and then finally let go with him as they mourned their friend. There were no words to ease this. Nothing was going to make them feel better in that moment. Adam finally pulled himself together enough to begin to walk them towards the house. Kim knew that Zoey was still out with the girls, so she let Adam lead her wherever he wanted to go. He led them to the couch and then pulled her down next to him so he could wrap her up in his arms. Kim just listened to Adam's heart beat in his chest and found herself counting them. Their world was changed. Again. And Kim could not begin to fathom how much it would affect their whole family.

* * *

Post note: Thank you to everyone that has followed this story from the beginning or has joined us along the way. I am absolutely amazed at the following. I honestly thought back in the beginning that people would hate me for what I was going to put them through. I hope you will continue to enjoy this ride with me. Zoey has a lot more story to tell. I know it is not in her point of view, but she is what drives it. Thanks, again!


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